The-B-Train

I'm sure you've heard all of this before, but by way of introduction, this is me...

I drink bourbon every night until I pass out. Like my mother, her brothers and her father, I'm an alcoholic. When I try to quit, I can't sleep, though I have quit a few times over the last 10 years for up to a month at a time.

I quit a 20+ year nicotine habit a little over a year ago and when I did that, my drinking picked up along with my weight. I've probably gained 25 pounds or more.

I'm fat. I'm tired. I feel like garbage all the time. I'm ashamed. I'm making a fool of myself in front of my kid, my friends, my family. I've injured myself by losing my balance. I missed cracking my skull open by about 6 inches last weekend because I was too frickin blasted to walk. I have no control over my consumption. I have to stop.

I've paid myself lip service for a while now. "I'll just drink on special occasions." That doesn't work. All or nothing and I have to choose nothing.

I used 'net resources to beat the nicotine. I've here, hung over, this morning, to try the same with booze.

Aysha

Hi Train...Glad you are here.
You can stop. It is possible.
Probably alot uncomfortable at first..But that will pass.
Keep posting.

indigo

Welcome from me too never lose hope you can do it. You'll find much support and encouragement here amongst non_judgemental people.

The-B-Train

Thanks for the welcomes. Most of my drinking happened right after work, so the first test starts in a couple of hours. If I could figure out a way to beat the depression and anger it would be a cake walk.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

It's good that you found us and have decided to live a sober life. Try to plan to be doing something different after work so your routine changes. That helped me a lot. You might find that the anger and depression take care of themselves once you've stopped drinking. If not, your dr can help you with the depression.

mike_mass

Hi,

You might want to check out AA. There should be plenty of meetings in your area.

The-B-Train

Thanks Anna. I've avoided the doctor for quite some time, but I went ahead and called today and made an appointment.

I think I will do something different. That's an excellent idea. I've got an old (non drinking) buddy who lives near my office. I believe I'll stop by for a social visit.

The-B-Train

Thanks for bringing that up because I do have a question about AA. There's a meeting very close to where I work. How religious is the organization? I am an atheist and I'm not sure I would fit in.

Missymae737

Hello and welcome to SR,

All you need is a desire to stop drinking to be a member of AA.

dave47

Welcome B Train,if you are off the nicotine for over a year then you've shown you do have willpower.Most of us are all or nothing people so theres plenty of support on here,best wishes.

GlassPrisoner

"AA is not allied with any sect, denomination......" AA is not religious in any way, shape or form. It is a spiritual program, however.

AS far as the cigs. That's great... BUT (Yeah, that's a big but) nicotine pales in comparison with alcohol. There is no comparison. Will power is useless for beating alcoholism without help.

mike_mass

AA does mention God a lot, so I wouldn't necessarily say it's not religious...in my mind it's more of a non-denominational organization that has some aspects of religious ceremony in its practices. I do know a few atheists and agnostics that go and they have long term sobriety. Try a few meetings and see what you think.

The-B-Train

Thanks again to everyone. I will attend an AA meeting to see what it's all about.

mike_mass

I'm glad you've decided to try it out.