Well guys..Today has been a real hard one. Worst one yet. I want to get high so bad it's not even funny. I made it well known to my whole family how I am feeling. Why? Sabotage. I am under a spot light today now. I would never do that before. Hell..I am scared to even go to the store even. They see my truck missing for a second and they will know it. My aunt lives right behind me and my cousin on the next street. LOL. Gotta love em.
Anyway. I have this list on my wall right in front of my desk with all the advantages
and disadvantages of using and not using. I have been staring at it all day.
So I want to share with you all my list. It has been there for months.
I invite anyone to join in and make their own. You will see what outweighs what.
Ok Here goes....
2. Forget stress
3. Kill boredom
4. The buzz
5. No responsibility
6. Sometimes fun
7. Forget my problems
8. Getting away from it all
1. Spend all my money
3. Risk my freedom
4. Risking my life
5. Hanging with grimy people
6. Waste gas
7. Waste time
8. Waste money
9. Put myself in chaotic situations
10. Disappointment from my family
11. Loss of employment or missed days
12. Feel like crap
13. Look and feel dirty
14. Dont sleep for days
15. Dont eat for days
16. Neglect hygeine
17. Dont pay my bills
18. Look and act stupid
19. Always paranoid someone is going to break in my house and hurt my grams
20. Hallucinations after a few days
21. Chronic coughing afterwards
22. So drained after
23. Takes for ever to come down and calm down
24. Having to start over
26. Depressed reall bad for about a week after
27. Feeling worthless
28. Never satisfied...Need more and more
29. The high is never "THEE" one
NOT using advantages:
1. I am happier
2. My family is happier
3. Gain my familys trust
5. Have money
6. Can save money
7. Look and feel so much better
8. More quality time with my family
9. My bills are paid
10. Can make it to work and work at full capacity
11. I am here for my grams
12. Not putting stress on my grams
13. Feel like a person with a purpose
14. More focused
15. No legal problems
16. No anxiety or depression
17. Can enjoy the simple things in life
NOT using DISadvantages:
1. Miss the excitement
2. Miss old friends that use or deal
3. Having to deal with urges almost on a daily basis.
4. Not a whole lot really.
Try and memorise your disadvantages Chiy.I know when we slip up all reason goes out the window,but if all the negatives are instilled in your mind ,then that will make it that much easier in the struggle.
Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary.
The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer.