Leaving..much love to all...
believer
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Europe
Posts: 2,411
This is for those who don't know i have been suicidal the last two months..There isn't probably a day in these two months that i haven't attempted something...We all know how that can affect friends..And most of you know about my faith...I just want to explain that i see value in other people and no value in me..People don't understand that i have no self love at all...It's very hard when you have no place to start. It's like telling yourself to get up in the morning for no reason. I never wanted to get nobody worried..I just wanted to vent.
i have to sleep on all of this, because i've never been on anti depressants, and they are making my brain crazy...i am sorry...
And more, i just want to say something..I do recognize the consequences of suicide.. i really do..I had it in my family..So...I am not joking or making stupid attempts...
I won't talk anymore of this, cuz these are the rules of the site..All i am saying is i need a day or two to figure out if i shall check myself in the nut house or whatever...
you guys must be handpicked by God, cuz you all rock!
i have to sleep on all of this, because i've never been on anti depressants, and they are making my brain crazy...i am sorry...
And more, i just want to say something..I do recognize the consequences of suicide.. i really do..I had it in my family..So...I am not joking or making stupid attempts...
I won't talk anymore of this, cuz these are the rules of the site..All i am saying is i need a day or two to figure out if i shall check myself in the nut house or whatever...
you guys must be handpicked by God, cuz you all rock!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 1,768
Oh karim!!! If I was 1/10th as talented and sweet as you are I would be soooo stuck on myself!! You are a very charming young man, with a whole life of great things and love ahead of you!! I wish you were sitting in front of me right now so I could 
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Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hicktown, PA
Posts: 1,479
Oh, Karim, please listen to our wise friend Dee....God loves you...you know this! And you believe, like I do, that we are made in His Image...so love Him, love yourself!! And if you can't do that, then let Astro, and me, and all your other friends here love you enough until you can love yourself a little bit...but please stay here...we need you. PLEASE STAY HERE! And remember, where there is God, there is Hope...and you and I already know what St. Paul taught us about obtaining Hope....Love you my friend!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: England
Posts: 1,733
Stick around Karim,you've raised a few questions in the time i've been on here which are very deep and come from your heart and your fears.Whatever problems you have,you will receive great support on here from many who are,or have been in the same boat.
.
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
Yeah what Dee says Karim and low self esteem and no self worth where some of the things I faced and still do, in the end I got up each day and took one step at a time because I learnt to listen to and value those around me who where and still are such a mixture and yet I could see that they understood me and that somehow they had won through and had some kind of peace, I know now what that peace is about.
It takes time karim and it takes some work too, 1st bit of work is dont give up, have some hope and that hope will grow.
Kevin
It takes time karim and it takes some work too, 1st bit of work is dont give up, have some hope and that hope will grow.
Kevin
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: www.ericwhitfieldart.com
Posts: 114
I think you need to stick around -- and not for everyone else...not for ANYone else....the fact is, though -- if you truly wanted to leave, you would not have checked back to see the reactions to your original post - so c'mon! stay awhile! 
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: www.ericwhitfieldart.com
Posts: 114
Originally Posted by gypsy tears 
Karim can you just do like the slogan thing says and take it one day at a time?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
Posts: 3,229
Karim, I'm sorry you are in so much pain. God loves you, we love you and we will love you as you learn to love yourself. I know you're hurt and disappointed over your friend but you have us and things have a way of working out. Sometimes things are not lost forever and come back to us. Never lose hope.. we have our hands and hearts open for you.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Ok Karim..I have had this talk with you before.
And you know the deal with that already.
The best thing I ever did was go to the mental rehab.
I swear on my grams it was.
You know I went from where you are ...(And believe me...I was going for it too.)
to amazing myself everyday that I am even trying a little bit to stay clean.
I never use to even try before. I caved so easy.
Everyday is a freaking struggle and sometimes an all day one at that.
And I am miserable sometimes. But at least I am trying this time.
I will NEVER forget the look on my grams face when I did what I did.
Never!
And that is the only thing I remember out of all that.
I have cheated death several times by pure accident...by someone elses hand...And the closest I came..by my own.
I am here for a reason. And so are you.
You have such strong faith...God has a plan for you.
Just look at the obvious and it isnt hard to see that you are blessed and serve a purpose.
I believe that. for both you ..me and anyone else struggling.
Get help..and if your meds arent doing what they are suppose to and having adverse effects. You need to talk to a Dr ASAP!
My meds are what drove me over the edge.
I am thinking of you. I hope you come back to us soon.
And you know the deal with that already.
The best thing I ever did was go to the mental rehab.
I swear on my grams it was.
You know I went from where you are ...(And believe me...I was going for it too.)
to amazing myself everyday that I am even trying a little bit to stay clean.
I never use to even try before. I caved so easy.
Everyday is a freaking struggle and sometimes an all day one at that.
And I am miserable sometimes. But at least I am trying this time.
I will NEVER forget the look on my grams face when I did what I did.
Never!
And that is the only thing I remember out of all that.
I have cheated death several times by pure accident...by someone elses hand...And the closest I came..by my own.
I am here for a reason. And so are you.
You have such strong faith...God has a plan for you.
Just look at the obvious and it isnt hard to see that you are blessed and serve a purpose.
I believe that. for both you ..me and anyone else struggling.
Get help..and if your meds arent doing what they are suppose to and having adverse effects. You need to talk to a Dr ASAP!
My meds are what drove me over the edge.
I am thinking of you. I hope you come back to us soon.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: boston, MA
Posts: 16
Karim-
SO MUCH LOVE is flowing your way from the people on this board. Can you feel it? It is all directed at you - right at you! Self love begins with forgiveness - forgive yourself, Karim. We are all flawed. We all make mistakes. We cannot be perfect, although we may try. But that self-forgiveness -- WOW! What a difference that can make. Once we give ourselves a break, an amazing thing happens - we can open up - to ourselves, to others. The sun comes out. The darkness fades. I, too, often think suicidal thoughts. It is awful. I, too, know the consequences and would never ever do it - too selfish! It is too punishing - and I do not want to punish those I truly love!
Forgive yourself, Karim. You are only human. Allow yourself to trust yourself, just like the people in here trust YOU! They value you. They believe in you. Try to "fall into" whatever is troubling you, instead of hiding from it, running from it, drinking it away... It will still be there, so if you embrace it, you will allow it to teach you something. Oh yes! It will hurt! But no pain, no gain, as they say! And what it allows you to gain is invaluable - courage, self-trust, self-respect. And out of that grows self-awareness, and eventually, self-love.
Courage, my friend.
SO MUCH LOVE is flowing your way from the people on this board. Can you feel it? It is all directed at you - right at you! Self love begins with forgiveness - forgive yourself, Karim. We are all flawed. We all make mistakes. We cannot be perfect, although we may try. But that self-forgiveness -- WOW! What a difference that can make. Once we give ourselves a break, an amazing thing happens - we can open up - to ourselves, to others. The sun comes out. The darkness fades. I, too, often think suicidal thoughts. It is awful. I, too, know the consequences and would never ever do it - too selfish! It is too punishing - and I do not want to punish those I truly love!
Forgive yourself, Karim. You are only human. Allow yourself to trust yourself, just like the people in here trust YOU! They value you. They believe in you. Try to "fall into" whatever is troubling you, instead of hiding from it, running from it, drinking it away... It will still be there, so if you embrace it, you will allow it to teach you something. Oh yes! It will hurt! But no pain, no gain, as they say! And what it allows you to gain is invaluable - courage, self-trust, self-respect. And out of that grows self-awareness, and eventually, self-love.
Courage, my friend.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: MA.
Posts: 1,719
Karim,
Add me to the list of folks who want you to stay on SR...
Depression hurts, no getting around it...BUT, there is a way out of the darkness...Meds helped me and a support system were my life savers...
You can get through this....
Add me to the list of folks who want you to stay on SR...
Depression hurts, no getting around it...BUT, there is a way out of the darkness...Meds helped me and a support system were my life savers...
You can get through this....
me too.
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