Jomey

You guys, I am so ashamed, sad, sick, upset, I'm crying my eyes out...my husband and I went out to dinner to celebrate our wedding anniversary last night and I drank. When we told the waitress it was our anniversary, she said, "how bout champagne" My husband looked at me, and i said YES. I only thought for one second before i said it, and my thoughts were, "I've been sober for almost two months, a little champagne for a big celebration like this won't hurt". AHHHH!!!

I can't believe I lost all my sober time, I can't believe how sick to my stomach I feel today (nerves and hangover), I just can't believe I am back to day one. I was doing so well - I can't believe I fell for the "big lie" of "just one drink today".


All I can do is start over and ask you guys to pray for me. I am going to go to church soon & try to find a meeting after. Just pray for me you guys, I am sooo sad and disappointed in myself.

odaat

Jomey, I want to thank you for coming here and bravely sharing about whats happened and how it made you feel. Hope you can find a meeting today.

Jomey

Thanks, Odaat, for taking the time to post. I feel so worthless and sad right now. There is a meeting I can get to later this afternoon - I am dreading it. I am going and I know I need it, but I am so ashamed. It was really hard to post here - I can't imagine talking about this later.

I know you have been having a hard time yourself, so bless you and keep going!

Aysha

JOmey..Please dont be so hard on yourself.
All I see in your post is that "You lost the NUMBER of days clean."
This is not a number collection.
It is a journey to sobriety. $hit happens and not saying it was right but it wasnt like you holed up to drink just to drink. You were celebrating.
Not that it is ok because it could lead to further drinking.
So you slipped one time.
So pick yourself up and DONT BEAT YOURSELF UP!!!!!!
Please dont make it about the time in. That will sabotage you.
Numbers mean nothing. Your sobriety TODAY means the world.

bugsworth

Jomey, Please don't beat yourself up. Today is a new day. My brain has a built in forgetter too! Your hangover is reminder enough. As far as time is concerned, how can you possibly lose sober days? CAN"T...IMPOSSIBLE!!! Be strong and give yourself some tlc today....

Jomey

Thanks you guys...You are right about not "losing" sober time and it not being a number game....I just felt good about myself for the first time in so long over the past few weeks, and now I feel like I blew it. I know I just have to get past it and get going again...I am so glad I have you all here to help me do that.

stone

Not many do it first try Jomey, learn from it.

Aysha

And just think how good youll feel when you just brush them shoulders off and get moving forward again.
You can be like..Hey..I F'ed up one night..so what.. But thats not gonna stop me...Up and onward!!

DaisyPops

Thank you so much for shareing that. I'm just 22 days sober. I need to keep being reminded that just one wont be okay. That has been my biggest problem with staying sober myself. Please don't beat yourself up. Be thankful that you snapped out of the stinkin thinkin in 1 day and came to these message boards to share and pick yourself back up!

Jomey

"Sobriety today means the world" - Thanks Chiy - I am going to keep that thought with me all day.

Thanks Stone! Lesson learned - for sure!

CarolD

Gee, I had so many false starts ...countless.
I attended AA for 5 years before I got
1 year of continious sobr time together.

But I kept moving forward and so can you.
Prayers coming your way.

Jomey

THanks Daisy - Good going on 22 days - maybe we can stick together on the "we can never have just one" reminder thing!!! Thanks for sharing with me - I can feel my spirits lifting a little as I read all these posts

Jomey

THanks Carol - I needed that hug and the inspiration! I would be lost without you guys!

Alyce14

Hi Jomey, join us bunch of us starting out over at "I am quitting today".

I'll add your name :-)

Alyce

parentrecovers

it's ok, jomey - it's a tough disease. hugs and support out to you, k

Missymae737

Hi,

Early sobriety is most challenging...Forgive yourself and start again...I stumbled a couple of times and yes it was hard...The guilt was unbearable. BUT it wasn't until I forgave myself that I could achieve any sobriety...

Thinking of you...

tanyapmc

I agree with Missy. Forgive yourself hun. No one will beat you up like you beat yourself up. Atleast you arent still drinking and you want to be sober. Pat yourself on the back for that. When people come back into AA and say they have had a relapse I do not judge them and my hat is off to them for their honesty. Remember what this feels like. You never have to start over again. Prayers going your way.

Jomey

Thanks Missy and Tanya- I need all the kind words I can get today - "You never have to start over again" sounds Real, Real good! Keep prayers comin- mine are going out for you!

Jersey Nonny

Jomey...my original sobriety date is July 22, 1979...my current sobriety date is November 15, 1979. Did I lose those nearly four months of "sobriety"? I don't think so...what I did was lose one night when "I forgot to remember..."; but, I also gained a valuable lesson. I think you have, too. So, the one night's lapse can carry you through many, many years of continued sobriety...as it has done for me.

Jomey

Thanks Nonny! I did indeed gain a valuable lesson...wish there would have been an eaiser way, but the hardest lessons are usually the ones we remember the longest! I hope my lesson is able to carry me as far as yours did you, but, oddly, as I have thought about this more this morning, I have realized more clearly what "one day at a time" means...I plan to accept this one bad choice, a few hours out of one set of 24 hours, and go forward...I know I would NEVER be thinking like this already if it weren't for eveyone here! Thank you so much!