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Old 10-04-2007, 10:55 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Is it normal to feel all over the place?


I've got no idea what I'm feeling at the moment, all I know is that I'm feeling an awful lot and I don't like it.

My emotions are all over the place and I feel all up and down, confused and lost.

I suppose this is to be expected, now that I'm trying to actually recover? I'm 10 months sober, but have spent almost all of the time hiding at home and pushing my feelings down and feeling miserable.

I'm still miserable, but I'm panicky and worried, and I don't know what to do

I'm going to a meeting tonight, but its a small meeting, and as its usually just men, no one really talks to me. I don't feel able to share or to just blurt out how I'm feeling.
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Old 10-04-2007, 10:59 AM   #2 (permalink)
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yes, so don't trip or take yourself so seriusely at the moment.
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Old 10-04-2007, 11:03 AM   #3 (permalink)
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It sounds like you are where you are supposed to be. Share this at the meeting, and cut down on coffee.
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Old 10-04-2007, 11:06 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Odaat you should be so proud of yourself for your 10 months.

My emotions tend to bounce around alot also, so I can identify with you.

You say..."now that I'm trying to actually recover" Take out three word and BAM you turned a corner...

Try this..."now that I am recovering" You see, how you view this journey can have a huge impact on your recovery.

I am sorry you are feeling anxious and this forum is a great place to take your worries. Keep your eye on the prize....anything that is good in this world comes with hard work, patience and faith.
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Old 10-04-2007, 11:07 AM   #5 (permalink)
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No coffee for me, or any caffine or any sugar, so I can't really do much physically to feel better.

How do I share? I've tried, but I just can't talk. Its like having a stutter, only nothing comes out at all. Its so bad that I've almost wet myself because I couldn't ask where the toilet was.

How do I not 'trip' or take myself seriously?
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Old 10-04-2007, 11:10 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Odaat you should be so proud of yourself for your 10 months.

My emotions tend to bounce around alot also, so I can identify with you.

You say..."now that I'm trying to actually recover" Take out three word and BAM you turned a corner...

Try this..."now that I am recovering" You see, how you view this journey can have a huge impact on your recovery.

I am sorry you are feeling anxious and this forum is a great place to take your worries. Keep your eye on the prize....anything that is good in this world comes with hard work, patience and faith.
I don't really feel like I'm recovering. I'm trying, but I still feel horrible. I suppose now that I'm going to meetings I can count myself as recovering. Looking forward to when i'm recovering and happy.
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Old 10-04-2007, 11:22 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Odaat you are recovering! You are doing more than trying you are doing. Everyday you don't drink is an action. I know it doesn't seem logical but it is indeed an action. Going to meetings is a great way to keep everything fresh, reminders of all the things you don't want along with all the possibilities that being sober brings.

Your body is recovering...your mind is recovering and your "spirit", if you will, will too recover. Don't give up. Never give up, you are too good for that!
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Old 10-04-2007, 11:24 AM   #8 (permalink)
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No coffee for me, or any caffine or any sugar, so I can't really do much physically to feel better.

How do I share? I've tried, but I just can't talk. Its like having a stutter, only nothing comes out at all. Its so bad that I've almost wet myself because I couldn't ask where the toilet was.

How do I not 'trip' or take myself seriously?
Maybe it would be better to talk to a few people before/after the meeting to get more comfortable.
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Old 10-04-2007, 11:25 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Wow...congrats on the 10 months!! I'm just at 42 days and I'm feeling the same way.
I'm going to a least 1 AA a day plus I'm in an IOP ( intensive outpatient program) that I go to 5 days a week. I'm talking, sharing ( as much as I'm capable of) etc., but I am starting to wonder if its worth feeling this bad. Of course, if I go back to drinking I'll be homeless...lol...so don't have much of a choice....Ij ust hope it gets better!!
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Old 10-04-2007, 11:26 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I want what these people have at the meetings, just not sure how to get it for myself.

People talk to me at the Sunday and Monday meetings, but at the other meetings its almost always just men, and they don't approach me and start a conversation, so I just stand there listening to them talk from across the room.

I suppose its an improvement - I've not be able to leave the house without my husband for the past 9 months or so, so at least I'm going to meetings. Maybe in 9 months I'll start talking.
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Old 10-04-2007, 11:37 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Watch the miracle... don't drink and you will get it.

When I first stopped drinking I read the big book...how I wanted the freedom from obsession...freedom from worries and I wanted to be happy, joyous and free.

I read the promises over and over. Along the way I added some of my own...just in the mean time while I worked on my sobriety.

I added by not drinking I promise I will never get a dui...now that is a fact
by not drinking I promise I will never blackout again
by not drinking I promise I will never hang my head in shame due to something I did under the influence.

I find it is easy to add to the list...keeps me focused on the prize..

You are giving yourself a huge gift each and everyday but not picking up. Keep it simple and in focus. Good things are bound to happen.
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Old 10-04-2007, 12:43 PM   #12 (permalink)
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You are doing just fine. all in good time and keep the faith and rely on your HP and you will succeed. Keep going to meetings, it is going to hard but you can do it.
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Old 10-04-2007, 12:59 PM   #13 (permalink)
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YES! Defintely. You are not alone. I am feeling like that too. I'm glad that you started this thread because it let's me know that I'm not the only one going through this.

You are doing a great thing by being here and talking about how you're feeling.

Keep working on your sobriety and it will balance out. However, as most thing in life, it just takes time.

But being sober gives you the chance to *feel* and that is a blessing.

Even on my bad days, I'd still take my feelings any day over the numbness that alcohol gave me.

Feeling means we are human, lol. Much better than being somewhere passed out.

Keep posting and talking about it. You're not alone.
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Old 10-04-2007, 02:13 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Well, I went to the meeting.

I cried all the way through the meeting and I cried all the way home.

I know I've got two choices, the only problem is the 2nd choice is starting to look pretty tempting
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Old 10-04-2007, 02:52 PM   #15 (permalink)
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To answer your initial question, OH YEA!, as for your last comment, each trip out is worse than the last for me.

Take care,
S
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Old 10-04-2007, 05:31 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Well, I went to the meeting.

I cried all the way through the meeting and I cried all the way home.

I know I've got two choices, the only problem is the 2nd choice is starting to look pretty tempting
That's not the answer and you know it.
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Old 10-04-2007, 10:41 PM   #17 (permalink)
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hang in there! Im only 40 days sober and i was feeling all these new things for a couple of days- freaked me right out!
i was over analyzing everything in my life and feeling so many things for the first time- what a trip!
Im taking my sober trip and letting myself feel again- then i write everything down that i am thinking about that just pops out
this has been helping me alot

i havent been to a meeting yet, and fear of the unknown is keeping me from going- so i applaud you for going! i really do

being sober ROCKS!
hang in there

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Old 10-05-2007, 12:54 AM   #18 (permalink)
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odaat -

yes. It's normal. It's your body healing, hon. your systems have been 'sedated' for however long you've been drinking. They're trying to 'regulate' now. So I found , when I was cleaning up .. I'd freak out over the tiniest thing, yet not blink when an atom bomb went off next to me.

everything was wacked.

some people called it a 'pendulum'. but lemme tell ya - MINE ... was pulling about 5g's. I was like an astronaut in one of those rocket chairs.

And all it was - was my brain ... trying to set up communications with my other systems again.

It's part of the healing.

As the poisons worked their way out of theorgans, and began to repair (and I have NOT had an easy ride of it, check some of my older posts... kidney disease, now lung disease ...) the emotional wheelies began to subside.

hang in , hon. we're here!
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Old 10-05-2007, 01:33 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Yup. We are here for you.

I found that when I did the steps with a sponsor, serenity was more frequent.

When I first got sober, my emotions were all over the place too. Last night, I went to my new home group meeting and cried as well. Then my sponsor rang me and I told her all my woes. She reminded me to look at my part and to ask God to lift that. I ended up having a good afternoon.

Make it through this and you will be that much stronger hun.
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Old 10-05-2007, 03:37 AM   #20 (permalink)
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I just don't know if its worth it.

I hate feeling like this, I just want these bad thoughts to go away. Its not nice having constant, intrusive thoughts about drinking, self harming and everything.

There is another meeting tonight, and this one has people in it, so hopefully if I cry all the way through again, someone will speak to me afterwards. Somethings stopping me from reaching out, but I don't know what.

I've phoned the Mental Health Team for an update on my case, and they are going to phone me back. Fingers crossed its good news - last time this happened, it was bad news.

I just thought that maybe after 10 months I'd be a little saner? I wish I knew how long the pain was going to last, at least I could make an informed descision.

Thanks for the support, I appreciate it.
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