1_day@_a_time

No

When we first get sober, we are emotionally immature.

Why not develop a relationship with yourself first?

barb dwyer

NO.

12 steps - 12 months. Minimum. Pretty much why - what everyone has already said.

Rusty Zipper

hey, why not... its one of the better subsitutions to recovery... if it goes south... drink!

then, say... geeze, those people were correct...

i have to change what needs to change!

rz

Jersey Nonny

Bonster...let's just say, I did the learning for you!!! BTW...is 79 the year of your birth? That's the year of my sobriety. Just wondered.

GlassPrisoner

No.

Of course, I had to try it myself. Well, ummm....I tried to try it. She had other ideas

calfritch

i have heard the 'wait a year' speech before as well. And I do think it is important to focus on yourself, but i like what SaTIT said about its better to go have fun with someone than contemplating hanging yourself. Today is my sober day 7 and I actually went out with and ex this last weekend. she just coincidentally started talking to me and had no idea what i was going through and I first thought I shouldn't go but then thought its better than sitting here by myself wondering why I am still alive. And I definitely made the right decision, I hadn't felt that good in a long time and not once did I think about having a drink.

Cathy31

NO would be my call too. I didn't get involved for 18 months - except for a brief obsession at the 6 month mark, and I pretty much rented the u-haul! It's such a wonderful feeling going into a relationship with some recovery and time and growth and an idea (still growing and developing) of yourself. You really have something to offer - and importantly I feel you really know what you deserve...which is the best.

As Rusty said, you can always do it anyway, get your heart broke, get obsessed, lose focus, endure pain because of your *expectations* and setting self up to fail, then drink and possibly die - or at least wish you were dead.

For me it's an easy choice and one I"m glad I made.

Cathy31
x

Jerzy007

Great input everyone, U make the call., Me, I enjoy Adding Value to a woman's life !! Although, none of the relationships ever worked out long term for me in recovery. Last time, a short term fling came about and I knew that was what was best for me and what i wanted and it worked out because so di she-was it selfish? I dont think so. We are all pretty sick beings, pretty sick beings with physical needs though. The Big Book explains this very, our sexual prefereneces are between us and God.

Surlyredhead

I can only speak for myself, but I dated someone at approx. 8 months sober.....it made me what I am today.....a single parent to a 12 year old boy!!!!!! It is only be the grace of God that I remained sober.....talk about adding stress to my recovery!!!! A little side note...my Son is the best thing that has EVER happened to me, he makes me want to do better in life, I owe him a lot!!!!

Cathy

calfritch

i misread the original post. i didnt go out with another AAer. So I guess my thought would be do what makes you happy and make sure you are not replacing alcohol with this other person and that you keep your recovery separate....if thats possible.