Hi yall
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 14
Hi yall
Just wanted to introduce myself. This looks like a good group. I am new to the whole concept of "finally admitting that I'm an addict" so bear with me if I seem to be remedial. My problem has been intermittent for a number of years now, and I've finally come to realize that I'll never reach my full potential as a human being if I continue the way I have.
My problem has been with the work I've been doing lately - a personal artistic pursuit that has put me directly in the wrong environment. I won't go into the specifics of that unless yall want to talk more, but I'll just say it involves a lot of going out to clubs and hanging out with musicians who drink like there's no tomorrow. But I also have been known to drink at home alone, and although I find it easier to give that up, sometimes I feel lonely and depressed and that makes it harder to resist the impulse to stop off at the liquor store on my way home from work.
I have had some time to do a bit of introspection lately, and I've had to take a kind of inventory of my life -- the goals I've set, and the reasons for why I have not reached them, and the problems I've exerienced(such as DUI() which can all be traced to drinking in some way or other. Alcohol seems to have stuck its ugly fingers into just about everything in my life. Also, there is the issue of being "enslaved" to anything, which is anathema to me in my personal philosophy. It's got to go.
There is no shame in admitting weakness. There is, in fact, no weakness except in not admitting weakness. I know this, and have always known it, but living up to it is another story. Therefore, I have to fully accept that I have a lifelong vulnerability and therefore I should never drink again.
At this point I feel I need to fill my life with something else. I've begun to cut my ties with the old life and abandoned my project (which has not been easy!). But I am very afraid of not being able to follow through. I'm afraid of being lonely and I really miss all my old friends already even though it's only been a few days. THey have all been very supportive of my decision, but I know that they will continue to party as always, and I just can't be around that now.
I've joined this group in the hope that maybe somebody might have some tips to help with the fear of not succeeding. Or possibly I might find someone else who's at the same stage who might be able to comisserate. Perhaps I can also help someone myself soon. The one thing I don't want to do is have to focus on "not drinking" as opposed to "living sober" -- I think the more you focus on not doing something, the more you want to do it. Rather, I think I need to simply fill the void and go on with life, and hopefully find a few friends in the process.
I do realize, though, that it is my own problem, and it's my own life that's affected by my decisions and actions, and so no one else can be held responsible. I know I'm capable of reaching recovery, and a whole lot more. I won't accept this slavery any longer!
My problem has been with the work I've been doing lately - a personal artistic pursuit that has put me directly in the wrong environment. I won't go into the specifics of that unless yall want to talk more, but I'll just say it involves a lot of going out to clubs and hanging out with musicians who drink like there's no tomorrow. But I also have been known to drink at home alone, and although I find it easier to give that up, sometimes I feel lonely and depressed and that makes it harder to resist the impulse to stop off at the liquor store on my way home from work.
I have had some time to do a bit of introspection lately, and I've had to take a kind of inventory of my life -- the goals I've set, and the reasons for why I have not reached them, and the problems I've exerienced(such as DUI() which can all be traced to drinking in some way or other. Alcohol seems to have stuck its ugly fingers into just about everything in my life. Also, there is the issue of being "enslaved" to anything, which is anathema to me in my personal philosophy. It's got to go.
There is no shame in admitting weakness. There is, in fact, no weakness except in not admitting weakness. I know this, and have always known it, but living up to it is another story. Therefore, I have to fully accept that I have a lifelong vulnerability and therefore I should never drink again.
At this point I feel I need to fill my life with something else. I've begun to cut my ties with the old life and abandoned my project (which has not been easy!). But I am very afraid of not being able to follow through. I'm afraid of being lonely and I really miss all my old friends already even though it's only been a few days. THey have all been very supportive of my decision, but I know that they will continue to party as always, and I just can't be around that now.
I've joined this group in the hope that maybe somebody might have some tips to help with the fear of not succeeding. Or possibly I might find someone else who's at the same stage who might be able to comisserate. Perhaps I can also help someone myself soon. The one thing I don't want to do is have to focus on "not drinking" as opposed to "living sober" -- I think the more you focus on not doing something, the more you want to do it. Rather, I think I need to simply fill the void and go on with life, and hopefully find a few friends in the process.
I do realize, though, that it is my own problem, and it's my own life that's affected by my decisions and actions, and so no one else can be held responsible. I know I'm capable of reaching recovery, and a whole lot more. I won't accept this slavery any longer!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,505
Hi and Welcome,
In my opinion, alcoholism is not a weakness.
It is not a character defect.
It is a disease.
I am very glad you found us and you'll find lots of support here. It is a very scary thought to think of life without alcohol and how will all work out, but you can do this. I tried to moderate my drinking and it took all of my energy and I still failed, so it felt like such a relief to finally just stop.
In my opinion, alcoholism is not a weakness.
It is not a character defect.
It is a disease.
I am very glad you found us and you'll find lots of support here. It is a very scary thought to think of life without alcohol and how will all work out, but you can do this. I tried to moderate my drinking and it took all of my energy and I still failed, so it felt like such a relief to finally just stop.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: England
Posts: 1,733
Welcome Kfoll,agree with what you say about not thinking about drinking as opposed to living sober.I found i was getting so negative and am trying to be positive and so far i have found this to be working(only couple of weeks in though).SR has helped me and hopefully you will find the same.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: on the moon
Posts: 944
Hi Kfoll!
Welcome aboard! I'm new here myself, but as you'll soon find out the people on here are great and often have really good advice.
You'll be in good company here.
Let us know how you're getting along.
Good luck!
Welcome aboard! I'm new here myself, but as you'll soon find out the people on here are great and often have really good advice.
You'll be in good company here.
Let us know how you're getting along.
Good luck!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi and Welcome to SR!
I understand what you mean about staying away from
club life and drinking friends. It took awhile for me
to establish new friends and activities.
And it was darn lonely.
However...my former friends were not interested in a
new healthy sober life...and I don't regret finding one.
Keep posting with us...you too can recover.
Blessings
I understand what you mean about staying away from
club life and drinking friends. It took awhile for me
to establish new friends and activities.
And it was darn lonely.
However...my former friends were not interested in anew healthy sober life...and I don't regret finding one.
Keep posting with us...you too can recover.
Blessings
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 14
Thanks for all the support. Yeah, I'm trying to keep a positive outlook. I keep telling myself everything is going to get better, and one of these days I'll wake up and realize there's a whole new world in front of me. I'm just trying now to focus on the goals I've set my life and how much easier it'll be to reach them sober. None of the things I want are worth losing over something as fleeting as a few hours of drunkenness.
I do find it lonely, but at least I'm glad my friends have been supportive, even if I can't hang out with them anymore. I do have one friend at least who might be willing to commit to sobriety as well, but I'm not going to force the issue with her, she's got to come to that decision on her own.
I do find it lonely, but at least I'm glad my friends have been supportive, even if I can't hang out with them anymore. I do have one friend at least who might be willing to commit to sobriety as well, but I'm not going to force the issue with her, she's got to come to that decision on her own.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
kfoll welcome to SR, keep an open mind my friend, getting sober is very easy..... the staying sober is the hard part!!! I quit hundreds of times and always came beck to the one thing in my life I was always sure of......... alcohol, it was always there for me.
You sound like you are in a very good place to start not drinking, if you are an alcoholic keep in mind as Anna said it is a disease and not a weakness of character.
In order for me to stop drinking I had to be willing to go to any length to get and stay sober. I had to drop every preconcieved notion & prejudice I had of every long term sobriety program out there to allow myself to begin my journey of sobriety.
Sobriety is a journey and not a destination, it is some thing I deal with one day at a time, every day I make a decision to not drink today, I might drink tomorrow, the option is there if I wish to go back to hell I can and do choose to do it tomorrow and not today.
How ever you decide to get/stay sober be flexable and be willing to change, if you find your self drinking again then try something different, if you find that doing or not doing something keeps you sober for a week then you drink again, stop drinking, do what you were or were not doing and either start or stop doing something else.
The only way you can fail at this is if you quit trying, as long as you are trying you will get there, but do not do like I did for 5 years and keep trying the same thing over and over again and drinking again, adjust the game plan until you finally score, I finally adjusted my game plan and became a winner by becoming a quitter!!!
You sound like you are in a very good place to start not drinking, if you are an alcoholic keep in mind as Anna said it is a disease and not a weakness of character.
In order for me to stop drinking I had to be willing to go to any length to get and stay sober. I had to drop every preconcieved notion & prejudice I had of every long term sobriety program out there to allow myself to begin my journey of sobriety.
Sobriety is a journey and not a destination, it is some thing I deal with one day at a time, every day I make a decision to not drink today, I might drink tomorrow, the option is there if I wish to go back to hell I can and do choose to do it tomorrow and not today.
How ever you decide to get/stay sober be flexable and be willing to change, if you find your self drinking again then try something different, if you find that doing or not doing something keeps you sober for a week then you drink again, stop drinking, do what you were or were not doing and either start or stop doing something else.
The only way you can fail at this is if you quit trying, as long as you are trying you will get there, but do not do like I did for 5 years and keep trying the same thing over and over again and drinking again, adjust the game plan until you finally score, I finally adjusted my game plan and became a winner by becoming a quitter!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by Tazman53 
kfoll welcome to SR, keep an open mind my friend, getting sober is very easy..... the staying sober is the hard part!!! I quit hundreds of times and always came beck to the one thing in my life I was always sure of......... alcohol, it was always there for me.
You sound like you are in a very good place to start not drinking, if you are an alcoholic keep in mind as Anna said it is a disease and not a weakness of character.
In order for me to stop drinking I had to be willing to go to any length to get and stay sober. I had to drop every preconcieved notion & prejudice I had of every long term sobriety program out there to allow myself to begin my journey of sobriety.
Sobriety is a journey and not a destination, it is some thing I deal with one day at a time, every day I make a decision to not drink today, I might drink tomorrow, the option is there if I wish to go back to hell I can and do choose to do it tomorrow and not today.
How ever you decide to get/stay sober be flexable and be willing to change, if you find your self drinking again then try something different, if you find that doing or not doing something keeps you sober for a week then you drink again, stop drinking, do what you were or were not doing and either start or stop doing something else.
The only way you can fail at this is if you quit trying, as long as you are trying you will get there, but do not do like I did for 5 years and keep trying the same thing over and over again and drinking again, adjust the game plan until you finally score, I finally adjusted my game plan and became a winner by becoming a quitter!!!
You sound like you are in a very good place to start not drinking, if you are an alcoholic keep in mind as Anna said it is a disease and not a weakness of character.
In order for me to stop drinking I had to be willing to go to any length to get and stay sober. I had to drop every preconcieved notion & prejudice I had of every long term sobriety program out there to allow myself to begin my journey of sobriety.
Sobriety is a journey and not a destination, it is some thing I deal with one day at a time, every day I make a decision to not drink today, I might drink tomorrow, the option is there if I wish to go back to hell I can and do choose to do it tomorrow and not today.
How ever you decide to get/stay sober be flexable and be willing to change, if you find your self drinking again then try something different, if you find that doing or not doing something keeps you sober for a week then you drink again, stop drinking, do what you were or were not doing and either start or stop doing something else.
The only way you can fail at this is if you quit trying, as long as you are trying you will get there, but do not do like I did for 5 years and keep trying the same thing over and over again and drinking again, adjust the game plan until you finally score, I finally adjusted my game plan and became a winner by becoming a quitter!!!
Well, for now I'm fine, and I am kind of excited about it, even, because i've started to visualize the kind of life I can have if I keep going. I really hope I can keep that up. But realistically, I don't have a great track record for keeping a stable emotional state... I go through periods of elevated moods, then I suffer sever downturns. Maybe I've got a tad bit of bipolarism, I don't know... I was on Cilexa for awhile (for Fibromyalgia) and it seemed to keep me on an even keel, but I can't afford that now, having no health insurance at all.
So I've got to find alternatives that fulfill my needs without breaking my wallet. I've considered going through an herbal detox regimen, which you can get at the health food store for about $25, but maybe someone else might have other ideas. I have also tried meditation and yoga, but you have to keep that up every day for it to work... that's one thing I've got to get back into the habit of doing. I'm willing to be open-minded, and, like you say, flexible.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: on the moon
Posts: 944
Originally Posted by Tazman53
do not do like I did for 5 years and keep trying the same thing over and over again and drinking again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by aldo1980
I can't remeber for the life of me where I heard that "doing the same thing over and over and expecting diffrent results is my deffinition of insanity". I really can't remember who told me that.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: on the moon
Posts: 944
Originally Posted by aldo1980
doing the same thing over and over and expecting diffrent results is my deffinition of insanity
I'm quite pleased I've remembered that, as it was botthering me all day!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by aldo1980
Just for the record, I finally remembered. It was Marc Almond (the chap who did the Tainted Love song, among others) and he said that on a documentary on tv. incidently I believe he's not a stranger to adiction either.
I'm quite pleased I've remembered that, as it was botthering me all day!
I'm quite pleased I've remembered that, as it was botthering me all day!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
okay...just stay plug in
don't pick up no matter what
follow your dreams no matter what
go to meetings even when don't feel like it.
follow your dream even when you don't feel like it
Becuase....
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=H1iR2Wi3u5o
look at the simalarities...music comprehendsion works the same way
there was a young man once.
He was playing in smoke bars rooms and the ends wasn't making it.
His GF left him. He was very sad..playing in bars wasn't his dream
He dream of playing in stadiums in front of thousands and thousands.
After his gf left him he treid to commite suicide, his heart was broken.
He spent months in an insane institution.
The doctor didn't even medicated him..they just left him there.
Being surround by insane, insane people he relized something oneday.
He still had a gift, he still had a dream and he was capiable of reaching it,
while the really insane people didn't.
He spented years following his dream no matter what from that moment.
He had nothing to looses becuase he had lost everything already.
He's name is Billy Joe.
don't pick up no matter what
follow your dreams no matter what
go to meetings even when don't feel like it.
follow your dream even when you don't feel like it
Becuase....
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=H1iR2Wi3u5o
look at the simalarities...music comprehendsion works the same way
there was a young man once.
He was playing in smoke bars rooms and the ends wasn't making it.
His GF left him. He was very sad..playing in bars wasn't his dream
He dream of playing in stadiums in front of thousands and thousands.
After his gf left him he treid to commite suicide, his heart was broken.
He spent months in an insane institution.
The doctor didn't even medicated him..they just left him there.
Being surround by insane, insane people he relized something oneday.
He still had a gift, he still had a dream and he was capiable of reaching it,
while the really insane people didn't.
He spented years following his dream no matter what from that moment.
He had nothing to looses becuase he had lost everything already.
He's name is Billy Joe.
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