Should i move out of Student Halls?
"Grateful to be Sober."
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 90
Should i move out of Student Halls?
Hi again,
Well 1st of all just want to say a huge thankyou to all who replied - it's lovely to have such supportive feedback, and very helpful too. I was just wondering what peoples opinions would be on wether i should stay living in student halls or move? I know at the end of the day it's down to me what i do with my life, but i'd find it really helpful to see what others think. I've been going to A.A meetings since Monday now and have had a substansial amount of support for which i'm very grateful. However when i explain my situation to people i've had a couple say i should move away from student halls in their opinion. This is something that has really been niggling at me, as it is a worry for me. I don't know if i have the strength to continue sobriety when the place i live in (with 10 others who ALL drink) is full of booze everywhere. This is my 5th day sober now, and i'm happy at the minute - i do not want to drink again. I do not want the trips to hospital, the passing out, the nastiness that comes out of me, waking up in strangers beds...I'm through with it, and i'm willing to do anything it takes to stay sober. So yeh, i'd be really grateful to get some other ppls opinions on this folks if u can. Oh and 1 more quick thing, how do i get a sponsor!? Thanks guys xxx
Well 1st of all just want to say a huge thankyou to all who replied - it's lovely to have such supportive feedback, and very helpful too. I was just wondering what peoples opinions would be on wether i should stay living in student halls or move? I know at the end of the day it's down to me what i do with my life, but i'd find it really helpful to see what others think. I've been going to A.A meetings since Monday now and have had a substansial amount of support for which i'm very grateful. However when i explain my situation to people i've had a couple say i should move away from student halls in their opinion. This is something that has really been niggling at me, as it is a worry for me. I don't know if i have the strength to continue sobriety when the place i live in (with 10 others who ALL drink) is full of booze everywhere. This is my 5th day sober now, and i'm happy at the minute - i do not want to drink again. I do not want the trips to hospital, the passing out, the nastiness that comes out of me, waking up in strangers beds...I'm through with it, and i'm willing to do anything it takes to stay sober. So yeh, i'd be really grateful to get some other ppls opinions on this folks if u can. Oh and 1 more quick thing, how do i get a sponsor!? Thanks guys xxx
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Well...
Before you get a sponsor...look for
"Questions and Answers on Sponsorship"
It's usually on the literature rack at meetings.
About your living quarters...I have no exact experience
however I did not stay sober when I worked around alcohol.
I took an office job.
I kept my apartment ...I lived alone.
I refused to socialize with my drinking friends.
I also let my still drinking lover go.
I do hope you continue your progress...
Recovery Rocks!..
Before you get a sponsor...look for
"Questions and Answers on Sponsorship"
It's usually on the literature rack at meetings.
About your living quarters...I have no exact experience
however I did not stay sober when I worked around alcohol.
I took an office job.
I kept my apartment ...I lived alone.
I refused to socialize with my drinking friends.
I also let my still drinking lover go.
I do hope you continue your progress...
Recovery Rocks!..
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
I don't know if i have the strength to continue sobriety when the place i live in is full of booze
i'm willing to do anything it takes to stay sober
Good luck Mandi! How is Glasgow? Are you from there or at Uni there?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: England
Posts: 1,733
Tough place to abstain is uni.Have you any friends who aren't too fussed about alcohol?You could move out but it's not cheap by yourself.At least you could rent somewhere with a few mates, but if they like to get hammered then the problem won't go away.The student bar will still be a big attraction if your crowd drink,
Good luck.
Good luck.
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
Tough call...but, I do agree that your sobriety comes first; and, being around constantly partying roomies, could be very dangerous. Move, if you can...and, the best of luck with your sobriety!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
I couldn't be around people who were drinking for a long time after I stopped drinking. It stressed me so much because I felt like I was constantly having to be so vigilant. I didn't keep alcohol at home and still don't and that has been helpful to me.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Mandi, I think it would help to get away from the temptations & people who want you to join the party. I was of the opinion that I could have it in my house (husband just has a few beers now & then) but recently I found myself grabbing one (didn't drink it) out of the blue! Took only 5 mins. to ask myself what in the hell was I doing - but still, it could've turned out to be the beginning of a binge. Frightening.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 31
Hi Mandi,
I am also living in a sort of student hall but we have our own apartments so that we don't necessarily have to mix with others (sounds silly but you know what I mean). Most of the people here are international students who drink ridiculously, but I don't associate with them. I have been sober for a month today and my solution to avoiding temptation has been to only hang out with a small group of friends who don't drink much, if at all. Is this an option for you, to look at before moving out?
It's especially tough being a student and a recovering alcoholic but when I stopped drinking I found that the sort of people I hung out with changed overnight for the better. The problem is that most people of the student age who don't drink are often people that an alcoholic might find it not so fun to be around: people who are maybe a bit uptight, dare I say judgemental and who may not have led similar lives to us. This is maybe a bit harsh of me, and a sweeping generalisation, but it's a problem that we face. However I have found that there are intelligent, fun, open people who either do not drink to excess or do not mind if I don't drink. I noticed that I instantly gravitated to this sort of person after beginning my recovery and that they accepted me.
Very tough call, especially if you're actually living with heavy drinkers. If it's hard to live around the alcohol then maybe it would be a good idea to change your living situation, but I'm not exactly in a situation to give advice. Do you have any calmer friends you can go to for support right now? I've found that to be the key so far.
Good luck with whatever happens.
I am also living in a sort of student hall but we have our own apartments so that we don't necessarily have to mix with others (sounds silly but you know what I mean). Most of the people here are international students who drink ridiculously, but I don't associate with them. I have been sober for a month today and my solution to avoiding temptation has been to only hang out with a small group of friends who don't drink much, if at all. Is this an option for you, to look at before moving out?
It's especially tough being a student and a recovering alcoholic but when I stopped drinking I found that the sort of people I hung out with changed overnight for the better. The problem is that most people of the student age who don't drink are often people that an alcoholic might find it not so fun to be around: people who are maybe a bit uptight, dare I say judgemental and who may not have led similar lives to us. This is maybe a bit harsh of me, and a sweeping generalisation, but it's a problem that we face. However I have found that there are intelligent, fun, open people who either do not drink to excess or do not mind if I don't drink. I noticed that I instantly gravitated to this sort of person after beginning my recovery and that they accepted me.
Very tough call, especially if you're actually living with heavy drinkers. If it's hard to live around the alcohol then maybe it would be a good idea to change your living situation, but I'm not exactly in a situation to give advice. Do you have any calmer friends you can go to for support right now? I've found that to be the key so far.
Good luck with whatever happens.
"Grateful to be Sober."
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 90
Thankyou for all your helpful advice guys. A lot of what you have said has scared me i guess. I mean deep down i know anyway that it is ridiculously dangerous to live here, i suppose i was just hoping for everyone (or even jus 1 person!) to say, hey dont worry ul b fine and so on...so i could stay here, but i know that no1 really would be 100% fine. You know i don't even really want to stay here, infact i don't (sorry my head is just everywhere at the min- only fifth day sober). But the thought of having to go through all of the troubl of moving - and thats just if i actually can - is very daunting as i'm trying to sort out so many things at the min as it is. I've made an appointment with a counseller who works with the uni students on wed so il see if she has any past experience of someone in my situation. If she does i'll ask her if she knows wether i can put in a special claim or something to switch to some other, more private, accomodation. One day at a time anyway, i'll just have to wait and see. I suppose what it comes down to for now is i have managed it today, i'm sober today. Thanks again for all your helpful advice, it's really good to be able to come on here and get this help- it's a lifeline literally
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