Oh why isnt there dam instruction manuels..
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Gisborne New Zealand
Posts: 539
Oh why isnt there dam instruction manuels..
on this!!! I mean life!! I think thats why I drank so I didnt have to live life as such in fact someone described sober as **** oh bugger everythings real!!
I emailed a friend down the line about what I did last time I was drinking to my horrid inlaws and well they havent answered :0( they either think Im nuts or just a plain bitch and now my confidance has zeroed again :0( I know thats no excuse to drink again but this reality that I have to face is scary as Steph says its scary realting to people . when you dont know how you should act what to say so people dont think you dumb or nuts what not to say so you dont say the wrong thing .. it just gets so confusing at times :0(
Ang
I emailed a friend down the line about what I did last time I was drinking to my horrid inlaws and well they havent answered :0( they either think Im nuts or just a plain bitch and now my confidance has zeroed again :0( I know thats no excuse to drink again but this reality that I have to face is scary as Steph says its scary realting to people . when you dont know how you should act what to say so people dont think you dumb or nuts what not to say so you dont say the wrong thing .. it just gets so confusing at times :0(
Ang
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
There are two owners manuals I know of.
The AA big book and the bible. The info found in them helped me find out how to act.
Believe in God or not... the bible is filled with wisdom on how to live a happy sober life.
AA Big Book takes the same lessons and words them so they match up with dealing with alcohol issues.
The AA big book and the bible. The info found in them helped me find out how to act.
Believe in God or not... the bible is filled with wisdom on how to live a happy sober life.
AA Big Book takes the same lessons and words them so they match up with dealing with alcohol issues.
No more merlot, more mamma
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hills, Ct
Posts: 2,139
Ang,
I've heard it said that we alchies stop growing maturity wise the minute we start drinking. So, that pretty much makes me 12-13 years old lol. I struggled with the OMG I'm being such a dork but lately its getting better. It's getting better cause I'm working on the steps. At least, that's the way that I see it. I have a difficult time reaching out and sharing face-to-face and I'm realizing that its my stupid ego trying to take over!!! I am forcing myself, yes FORCING myself to share at every single meeting I go to. That's the only way that I'll get over it.
It's very difficult to get outside of yourself, but it must be done.
Big Hugs
Karen
I've heard it said that we alchies stop growing maturity wise the minute we start drinking. So, that pretty much makes me 12-13 years old lol. I struggled with the OMG I'm being such a dork but lately its getting better. It's getting better cause I'm working on the steps. At least, that's the way that I see it. I have a difficult time reaching out and sharing face-to-face and I'm realizing that its my stupid ego trying to take over!!! I am forcing myself, yes FORCING myself to share at every single meeting I go to. That's the only way that I'll get over it.
It's very difficult to get outside of yourself, but it must be done.
Big Hugs
Karen
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Gisborne New Zealand
Posts: 539
thanks Karen I just feel like a idiot and then I get down. Ive never being one of these people that can breeze into a room full of confidence Im a slaunter in and hide sort of person .
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I'm a Aussie man. I don't read maps, instructions or manuals 
Life seems so hard and so confusing because we've avoided it for so long - I avoided it for so long it's like I'm 13 sometimes instead of 40. It takes a while to get through that.
but...it gets easier Ang...I find the longer I'm sober the easier it is to hear the little voice inside you that just *knows* what's damn well right.
Takes a while to hear it at first, and then a while longer to trust it, but it happens
D
Life seems so hard and so confusing because we've avoided it for so long - I avoided it for so long it's like I'm 13 sometimes instead of 40. It takes a while to get through that.
but...it gets easier Ang...I find the longer I'm sober the easier it is to hear the little voice inside you that just *knows* what's damn well right.
Takes a while to hear it at first, and then a while longer to trust it, but it happens
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Gisborne New Zealand
Posts: 539
thanks Dee I just feel...well actually Im sitting here thinking jeesh girl get over yourself!! Maybe Im a real sadsack that feels sorry for onesself? I dunno?? I just never know how much I should say and when not to say things have allways being like that
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Southern BC, Canada
Posts: 100
Not to take away from Best, because without my Faith in a Higher Power (however you conceive of the idea)... there would be nothing but these scant few years to look forward to - and why NOT spend them in Oblivion, if that's the whole story?
BUT - that is not the answer, because you lose so much of this Life - and deprive others of your wisdom, charm, love, compassion and hope. (Yes, my dear, there is "hope" amongst the most weak of us.... it is a Gift that cannot be returned, only ignored.)
SOMEBODY LOVES YOU! No human gets though this World without being loved, even the Wicked.... they just squandered their chance - nothing more.
I find it comforting to be a "semi-Christian", who also belives in Re-incarnation... after all, what is Re-incarnation, than the chance to live again as Jesus promised - just a different neighbourhood, and we are still "in school"?
If it take us MANY times to "learn all the lessons", that is okay - God will give us a "Do-Over" any time we ask. That's the whole point.
So start your "Do-Over" today.... if it lasts, great! If it doesnt, "do your Do-Over AGAIN!"
Why do you think they call it that, anyway?
BUT - that is not the answer, because you lose so much of this Life - and deprive others of your wisdom, charm, love, compassion and hope. (Yes, my dear, there is "hope" amongst the most weak of us.... it is a Gift that cannot be returned, only ignored.)
SOMEBODY LOVES YOU! No human gets though this World without being loved, even the Wicked.... they just squandered their chance - nothing more.
I find it comforting to be a "semi-Christian", who also belives in Re-incarnation... after all, what is Re-incarnation, than the chance to live again as Jesus promised - just a different neighbourhood, and we are still "in school"?
If it take us MANY times to "learn all the lessons", that is okay - God will give us a "Do-Over" any time we ask. That's the whole point.
So start your "Do-Over" today.... if it lasts, great! If it doesnt, "do your Do-Over AGAIN!"
Why do you think they call it that, anyway?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Southern BC, Canada
Posts: 100
Originally Posted by angie9 
so you dont say the wrong thing .. it just gets so confusing at times :0(
Ang
Ang
Angie - there is no such thing as "saying the wrong thing" when it is your hurt/heart that is saying it.
There are only people who can not, or WILL not, hear you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Gisborne New Zealand
Posts: 539
thanks everyone 
Chris said the quails where cute tho I sort of said that they where $10 cheaper than what they where I think he would of rumg my neck if I told him how much I paid for them ($60!) but heck that was a weeks worth of wine in my old days so they are worth it. Im a bit worried about "Mrs Cabbage" pur incredibly expensive chook! shes a pedigree cost $27 and I have a horrible feeling she might be egg bound :0( which will means a trip to a vet *sigh* hey best Im still filling up our section with beasties lol. Im going to get myself some whiteface cockateils ( well have to save up they are $150 each! but beautiful I cant wait its whats making me concentrate at the moment on my soberiarty something to look forward too
Chris said the quails where cute tho I sort of said that they where $10 cheaper than what they where I think he would of rumg my neck if I told him how much I paid for them ($60!) but heck that was a weeks worth of wine in my old days so they are worth it. Im a bit worried about "Mrs Cabbage" pur incredibly expensive chook! shes a pedigree cost $27 and I have a horrible feeling she might be egg bound :0( which will means a trip to a vet *sigh* hey best Im still filling up our section with beasties lol. Im going to get myself some whiteface cockateils ( well have to save up they are $150 each! but beautiful I cant wait its whats making me concentrate at the moment on my soberiarty something to look forward too
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
I think learning to "bite your tongue" comes with practice, practice, practice...and, I still don't have it down pat...but, I'm getting better at it. I used to allow my daughter to bait me/press my buttons, and I'd feed right into it and lash back. She would stop talking to me, and I'd feel guilty when she was the one who started it.
But, wait a second here...I'm the supposedly sober adult parent, and she's the clean and sober child (no matter how old she is)...let's show a little respect, Hon. I'm finally learning to just let it roll off my back...not allow her to rile me...and, she no longer is allowed to "live rent free" in my head!
Eventually, she gets over whatever snit she's in, cools off, and calls me just as though nothing had been said. No apology...but, at least I didn't play an active part in the insanity. Practice, practice, practice!
But, wait a second here...I'm the supposedly sober adult parent, and she's the clean and sober child (no matter how old she is)...let's show a little respect, Hon. I'm finally learning to just let it roll off my back...not allow her to rile me...and, she no longer is allowed to "live rent free" in my head!
Eventually, she gets over whatever snit she's in, cools off, and calls me just as though nothing had been said. No apology...but, at least I didn't play an active part in the insanity. Practice, practice, practice!
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