I am quitting today_please check in.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: US
Posts: 195
the still struggling to get/stay sober list:
Still struggling list:
Aldo1980
tanyapmc welcome, and please be part of this group!!!
Alyce14
Gottaquit
sobersilly
el ka bong
txar
Hevyn
teej welcome here!!!
Chynita
Hope4Life
1 day-I didn't add you cause I think you are doing fine, right?
Still struggling list:
Aldo1980
tanyapmc welcome, and please be part of this group!!!
Alyce14
Gottaquit
sobersilly
el ka bong
txar
Hevyn
teej welcome here!!!
Chynita
Hope4Life
1 day-I didn't add you cause I think you are doing fine, right?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,876
Hey Alyce!
I am sorry that you are still struggling! I went to a meeting last night that was very powerful. One of the old timers, I say that simply because he has serious time under his belt, made a comment that rang so true. He said I only have one rule, I never drink no matter what, I never question it, I never entertain it and now I never think about it. I have to say when I first entered the rooms of AA this guy was intimadating to say the least....one day he said "if you are not serious about stepping away from alcohol forever please leave because you are sucking all the good oxygen out of the room" I thought holy crap!!! I am no longer intimidated by him, I have come to admire him, although I don't agree with his tactics sometimes I realize he is no longer there for himself...he is there for all the newcomers who have and have not yet made the commitment to quit. Everyday you keep drinking makes your journey longer. Make the decision....and follow thru...the pain will dissappear..you will get stronger..God Speed to you...remember you are worth it!
I am sorry that you are still struggling! I went to a meeting last night that was very powerful. One of the old timers, I say that simply because he has serious time under his belt, made a comment that rang so true. He said I only have one rule, I never drink no matter what, I never question it, I never entertain it and now I never think about it. I have to say when I first entered the rooms of AA this guy was intimadating to say the least....one day he said "if you are not serious about stepping away from alcohol forever please leave because you are sucking all the good oxygen out of the room" I thought holy crap!!! I am no longer intimidated by him, I have come to admire him, although I don't agree with his tactics sometimes I realize he is no longer there for himself...he is there for all the newcomers who have and have not yet made the commitment to quit. Everyday you keep drinking makes your journey longer. Make the decision....and follow thru...the pain will dissappear..you will get stronger..God Speed to you...remember you are worth it!
Sober But Struggling
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 73
I'm on my 6th day. Who would have thought that things would be so hard.
I'm sick as a dog every morning with diareah and my stomache feels like crap for most of the morning. I got work today at 11:00. I don't have the energy to even get in the shower. Ugghhhhhhhhhhh.
I refuse to fuel this sick feeling with booze though.
Good LUck to the rest of you. Talk to you tomorrow.
I'm sick as a dog every morning with diareah and my stomache feels like crap for most of the morning. I got work today at 11:00. I don't have the energy to even get in the shower. Ugghhhhhhhhhhh.
I refuse to fuel this sick feeling with booze though.
Good LUck to the rest of you. Talk to you tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: on the moon
Posts: 944
Hi Alyce!
I don't know what kahlua is, but I'm assuming it's a drink.
Throw it away! That way if you don't have it in the house you'll probably think twice about buying when you want a drink.
Have a nice day.
I don't know what kahlua is, but I'm assuming it's a drink.
Throw it away! That way if you don't have it in the house you'll probably think twice about buying when you want a drink.
Have a nice day.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
Alyce, you are not a wimp, you are affected by a disease.
I have come to learn, I MUST succumb to the disease and it's power!!
Lack of power is my dilemma.........
Each and everytime when I'm faced with an issue in life, I need to have, at the forefront of my mind, this question:
Who cares to admit complete defeat?
I must, each and everytime, even tho' my ego says not too.......
I'm hanging in there today thanks!
I have come to learn, I MUST succumb to the disease and it's power!!
Lack of power is my dilemma.........
Each and everytime when I'm faced with an issue in life, I need to have, at the forefront of my mind, this question:
Who cares to admit complete defeat?
I must, each and everytime, even tho' my ego says not too.......
I'm hanging in there today thanks!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 14
OK checking in...
I'm only 4 days into this. I'm not so sure the one-day-at-a-time thing is for me, because my drinking has been so intermittent, and I've never been a daily drinker. I think I'll just do it in weekly increments, because it's the weekends that are my worst enemies. So I'm about halfway through my first week, and trying not to think about what Friday night is going to be like without going out and partying. Trying not to think about all the people I've had to tell about this, or have had to try to explain without telling them the specifics. I'm not one to bare my soul to a lot of people, which is why I find the anonymity of this board a lot easier than going to a meeting. I'm also not going to a meeting because they don't have AA in my town... I'm going to try to find one in a nearby city if possible, but for the time being I'm doing other things, talking to myself (silently heh!) and doing stuff like meditation to calm my restlessness. It's that restlessness and loneliness that drive me to go out partying and mingle with all sorts of riff-raff, then drink myself into a coma. Then wake up Monday morning and wonder where the hell all my money just went.
An Anecdote
OK, the anecdote: I was at a concert last December -- Cannibal Corpse, etc. if you must know -- and I ran into an old friend, a guy my brother used to hang out with. I was fat the last time he saw me (I've since lost a lot, but gained a lot of it back), so he almost didn't recognize me. But when he did, he was suddenly all friendly, and we went into one of the adjoining bars at the venue and before I knew it I was in his lap drinking beer after beer, making out, and generally acting like a ****.
But I wasn't happy with that, because I was missing the concert! I finally extricated myself by saying I had to go to the bathroom -- and promptly ended up in the middle of a mosh pit with about 20 guys trying to feel me up. At one point, I was thrown to the floor and trampled on in the pit. When the show was over I remained with those guys because I didn't want that other guy to see me leave and try to detain me; I was sick of him alredy. So I left with another guy. I was so drunk by that time on WHisky and beer that I decided to let him drive.
I really thought he was okay to drive. Up util the time, as he was pulling out from my parking spot, he rammed right into a telephone pole.
I remember getting out and cursing, screaming and hitting people and then bawling like a baby as I looked at the damage to my car. THe whole front bumper was bent inward, the airbags had deployed and busted my windshield, and my headlight was broken. The venue staff were out there begging me to get a cab, but I was having none of it, so I got into my car and drove away. I was almost sober by that time.
Lesson learned?
Here's the clincher to the story: Do you think that was enough to keep me from drinking and driving ever again? Well - on Christmas Eve 2006, I slid into a ditch and had to get a tow truck. While I waited for the tow truck, the cops showed up. My alcohol level was 0.088%. I spent Christmas morning in jail.
Still that wasn't enough to create sobriety in me. 5 months of license suspension only kept me drinking at home alone and feeling damn sorry for myself. WHen I finally got out again, I began making arrangements for places to stay whenever I did go out. WHen I didn't have a place to stay, I limited my intake to 2 or 3 beers maximum. I really did not want to get trashed at all, but a few times I did get trashed. Really really trashed. I've seen and done a lot of really disturbing things in the past 3 or 4 months due to this.
Why I need sobriety
I guess I finally came to realize I needed sobriety because of this artist project, when I finally took a good hard look at where I'd wanted to be in it, where I actually was, and the reason why I hadn't met my goals. I had in fact been thinking about sobriety for a long time, but not seriously enough. Still, thinking about anything long enough must be good for something, because I finally did admit to myself that I have a problem, and the problem ain't going away without some kind of action.
So that's what I've been up to, trying to analyze my own situation, trying to come to terms with some of the things I've done and seen, and mostly just trying to find my own personal source of power.
OK that's it, hope you enjoyed my little story. :P
I'm only 4 days into this. I'm not so sure the one-day-at-a-time thing is for me, because my drinking has been so intermittent, and I've never been a daily drinker. I think I'll just do it in weekly increments, because it's the weekends that are my worst enemies. So I'm about halfway through my first week, and trying not to think about what Friday night is going to be like without going out and partying. Trying not to think about all the people I've had to tell about this, or have had to try to explain without telling them the specifics. I'm not one to bare my soul to a lot of people, which is why I find the anonymity of this board a lot easier than going to a meeting. I'm also not going to a meeting because they don't have AA in my town... I'm going to try to find one in a nearby city if possible, but for the time being I'm doing other things, talking to myself (silently heh!) and doing stuff like meditation to calm my restlessness. It's that restlessness and loneliness that drive me to go out partying and mingle with all sorts of riff-raff, then drink myself into a coma. Then wake up Monday morning and wonder where the hell all my money just went.
An Anecdote
OK, the anecdote: I was at a concert last December -- Cannibal Corpse, etc. if you must know -- and I ran into an old friend, a guy my brother used to hang out with. I was fat the last time he saw me (I've since lost a lot, but gained a lot of it back), so he almost didn't recognize me. But when he did, he was suddenly all friendly, and we went into one of the adjoining bars at the venue and before I knew it I was in his lap drinking beer after beer, making out, and generally acting like a ****.
But I wasn't happy with that, because I was missing the concert! I finally extricated myself by saying I had to go to the bathroom -- and promptly ended up in the middle of a mosh pit with about 20 guys trying to feel me up. At one point, I was thrown to the floor and trampled on in the pit. When the show was over I remained with those guys because I didn't want that other guy to see me leave and try to detain me; I was sick of him alredy. So I left with another guy. I was so drunk by that time on WHisky and beer that I decided to let him drive.
I really thought he was okay to drive. Up util the time, as he was pulling out from my parking spot, he rammed right into a telephone pole.
I remember getting out and cursing, screaming and hitting people and then bawling like a baby as I looked at the damage to my car. THe whole front bumper was bent inward, the airbags had deployed and busted my windshield, and my headlight was broken. The venue staff were out there begging me to get a cab, but I was having none of it, so I got into my car and drove away. I was almost sober by that time.
Lesson learned?
Here's the clincher to the story: Do you think that was enough to keep me from drinking and driving ever again? Well - on Christmas Eve 2006, I slid into a ditch and had to get a tow truck. While I waited for the tow truck, the cops showed up. My alcohol level was 0.088%. I spent Christmas morning in jail.
Still that wasn't enough to create sobriety in me. 5 months of license suspension only kept me drinking at home alone and feeling damn sorry for myself. WHen I finally got out again, I began making arrangements for places to stay whenever I did go out. WHen I didn't have a place to stay, I limited my intake to 2 or 3 beers maximum. I really did not want to get trashed at all, but a few times I did get trashed. Really really trashed. I've seen and done a lot of really disturbing things in the past 3 or 4 months due to this.
Why I need sobriety
I guess I finally came to realize I needed sobriety because of this artist project, when I finally took a good hard look at where I'd wanted to be in it, where I actually was, and the reason why I hadn't met my goals. I had in fact been thinking about sobriety for a long time, but not seriously enough. Still, thinking about anything long enough must be good for something, because I finally did admit to myself that I have a problem, and the problem ain't going away without some kind of action.
So that's what I've been up to, trying to analyze my own situation, trying to come to terms with some of the things I've done and seen, and mostly just trying to find my own personal source of power.
OK that's it, hope you enjoyed my little story. :P
.gif)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: seattle
Posts: 468
Yay! Look at all the people.
I havent had time to check in for a few days, I've been pretty busy. Life happens between meetings for me. I've just gone through some big changes, moved x-country 2 months ago; new job, which i quit 10 days ago. (after only 10 weeks.) I'm doing better financially since then,this week, actually, back in my main field - except its freelance, so i "feel" like im always looking for a job. I have a job intgerview on friday for something i truely love to do, and im excited about that, just not the uncertianty/expectations noise in my head. I finally move into my very own place on saturday! 2 months has seeemed like forever, especially living out of a few suitcases. It took some time to find the right place. And some stress with the credit/background check. All worry was for naught, but i didnt let go of it till after i got the approval. I'm so full of hope. But ive been pretty worried about stuff, too. Some relife has come from meetings, and service work. I've been a meeting troll for the last 4 weeks, and i'm meeting alot of good people so far. New house, new friends, new meetings. Alot of change. Its good, but its still change-y, and thats kind of stressful, as i dont have an anidote, social lubricant, or bong hit laying around. WOO_HOO! i DONT EVEN WANT ONE! Very grateful for the sober friends ive made fast here in a new city, soooo far from home.
Its taken a few years to "come to", and i would be floundering without the steps.
Today im just trying to face life on lifes terms.
Not drinking today, doing laundry...LOL...
A vark
I havent had time to check in for a few days, I've been pretty busy. Life happens between meetings for me. I've just gone through some big changes, moved x-country 2 months ago; new job, which i quit 10 days ago. (after only 10 weeks.) I'm doing better financially since then,this week, actually, back in my main field - except its freelance, so i "feel" like im always looking for a job. I have a job intgerview on friday for something i truely love to do, and im excited about that, just not the uncertianty/expectations noise in my head. I finally move into my very own place on saturday! 2 months has seeemed like forever, especially living out of a few suitcases. It took some time to find the right place. And some stress with the credit/background check. All worry was for naught, but i didnt let go of it till after i got the approval. I'm so full of hope. But ive been pretty worried about stuff, too. Some relife has come from meetings, and service work. I've been a meeting troll for the last 4 weeks, and i'm meeting alot of good people so far. New house, new friends, new meetings. Alot of change. Its good, but its still change-y, and thats kind of stressful, as i dont have an anidote, social lubricant, or bong hit laying around. WOO_HOO! i DONT EVEN WANT ONE! Very grateful for the sober friends ive made fast here in a new city, soooo far from home.
Its taken a few years to "come to", and i would be floundering without the steps.
Today im just trying to face life on lifes terms.
Not drinking today, doing laundry...LOL...
A vark
Last edited by Aa_vark; 10-03-2007 at 03:21 PM.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: US
Posts: 195
Still struggling list:
Wiscgirl30 - Ok, here you are (although I wish we were all on a list: happy we made it). Glad to have you here. So glad!!!
Aldo1980-I do play chess, although badly. It should help your self esteem to beat me constantly
tanyapmc welcome, and please be part of this group!!!
Alyce14 Wish I could say I quit...
Gottaquit Has been banned from this site? What can you possibly say to have that happen?
sobersilly Haven't seen you in a while. U OK?
el ka bong I constantly look to your posts for comfort.
[B]txar What's up?
Hevyn i feel like you are my guardian angel
teej welcome here!!!
Chynita big hugs to you
Hope4Life and you. How is today?
for me, the day sucks so far but I am hoping for better...
Alyce
Wiscgirl30 - Ok, here you are (although I wish we were all on a list: happy we made it). Glad to have you here. So glad!!!
Aldo1980-I do play chess, although badly. It should help your self esteem to beat me constantly
tanyapmc welcome, and please be part of this group!!!
Alyce14 Wish I could say I quit...
Gottaquit Has been banned from this site? What can you possibly say to have that happen?
sobersilly Haven't seen you in a while. U OK?
el ka bong I constantly look to your posts for comfort.
[B]txar What's up?
Hevyn i feel like you are my guardian angel
teej welcome here!!!
Chynita big hugs to you
Hope4Life and you. How is today?
for me, the day sucks so far but I am hoping for better...
Alyce
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: on the moon
Posts: 944
Hi Alyce!
How are you doing today? I hope you threw out them bottels you were keeping. C'mon today you can do it. I want to see "sober since 2007/10/04" next to your name!!
Maybe we could have an online game of chess sometime. By the sounds of it we play at the same level. lol
Be strong today. Take care.
Aldo.
How are you doing today? I hope you threw out them bottels you were keeping. C'mon today you can do it. I want to see "sober since 2007/10/04" next to your name!!
Maybe we could have an online game of chess sometime. By the sounds of it we play at the same level. lol
Be strong today. Take care.
Aldo.
Sober But Struggling
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 73
I'm glad we still have this thread to come to. Lets concentrate on this one instead Alyce14.
Oh no, I was never banned from the site. I was just having a stupid hissy fit.
Probably somehow connected with the fact that I am still addicted to alcohol even after 7 days sober now.
I really think that is what it was and still is. My mood today is that of a hatred old woman on a full moon night. I have absolutely no reason to feel this way and I'm just over my monthly. And I only get that way on the first day of that.
I have to blame it on the alcohol. My mind is problably still trying to adjust to normal functioning. My brain is probably confused and saying, Hey duh, Wheres the booze yet. It seems I don't really know how to feel.
I have this cold and I have been coughing my head off for over a week, I can't even smoke a cigarette (OH MAYBE THAT'S IT) LOL.
Otherwise it's such a nice day out, if I felt better, Id take the dog for a well deserved walk in the park.
Anyway, Like I said. Go get some of those Ice Cappocinno thingys and have those in the morning. They are truely yummy.
Oh no, I was never banned from the site. I was just having a stupid hissy fit.
Probably somehow connected with the fact that I am still addicted to alcohol even after 7 days sober now.
I really think that is what it was and still is. My mood today is that of a hatred old woman on a full moon night. I have absolutely no reason to feel this way and I'm just over my monthly. And I only get that way on the first day of that.
I have to blame it on the alcohol. My mind is problably still trying to adjust to normal functioning. My brain is probably confused and saying, Hey duh, Wheres the booze yet. It seems I don't really know how to feel.
I have this cold and I have been coughing my head off for over a week, I can't even smoke a cigarette (OH MAYBE THAT'S IT) LOL.
Otherwise it's such a nice day out, if I felt better, Id take the dog for a well deserved walk in the park.
Anyway, Like I said. Go get some of those Ice Cappocinno thingys and have those in the morning. They are truely yummy.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Auckland, new Zealand
Posts: 93
One day at a time people! I am so encouraged by this thread. Everyone's recovery is different. But we all have the same goal at the end.
I can still clearly remember the day i woke up feeling great (that was about 8 days into my sobriety). I had a real sence of peace and serenity. Now I look forward to sleep so i can wake up feeling great again and again.
hang in there all of you! It can be done, You will make it!!!
lots of hugs today to you all!
misslisa
I can still clearly remember the day i woke up feeling great (that was about 8 days into my sobriety). I had a real sence of peace and serenity. Now I look forward to sleep so i can wake up feeling great again and again.
hang in there all of you! It can be done, You will make it!!!
lots of hugs today to you all!
misslisa
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: US
Posts: 195
Oh, Misslisa, really? I dread the morning. Well haven't done anything today to be ashamed of. Wish I could say I hadn't had a drink...
alyce
8 days? That is next Friday!!! or rather, week from tomorrow. Oh dear.
alyce
8 days? That is next Friday!!! or rather, week from tomorrow. Oh dear.
.
Sober But Struggling
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 73
Trying to get here and hope Alyce reads this before she has her morning coffee.
Please try hard today. I want to see you feeling better. The only way that is going to happen is if you don't drink. So, Go get something right now that will take the place of that morning drink you have been having.
I just sent my husband out for some cookies for me.
I noticed yesterday I felt really strange until I stopped at the gas station and got a little pack of cupcakes. So, Maybe being off alcohol for me was messing with my blood sugar level or something like that. I've never had a problem with diabetes. But, you never know what one week with out alcohol can do to ones system, if it's use to having it everyday.
So, I'm looking forward to my cookies when he returns.
He took off work today and kept the boys out of school because he is taking them to this huge car show here in PA. He wants me to go. But, I can't see myself enjoying being at a car show for 8 or more hours. He said there are crafts and stuff there. I think he was teasing me last night when he said. They have a bead stand, and a car that you can get into and record karaoke. Yeah right. LOL.
If I go, I'm just gonna end up getting grouchy after about 2 hours and make it hard for them to have fun.
Anyway. It's up to you today to not use any alcohol.
Good Luck Alyce, We are all routing for you.
Please try hard today. I want to see you feeling better. The only way that is going to happen is if you don't drink. So, Go get something right now that will take the place of that morning drink you have been having.
I just sent my husband out for some cookies for me.
I noticed yesterday I felt really strange until I stopped at the gas station and got a little pack of cupcakes. So, Maybe being off alcohol for me was messing with my blood sugar level or something like that. I've never had a problem with diabetes. But, you never know what one week with out alcohol can do to ones system, if it's use to having it everyday.
So, I'm looking forward to my cookies when he returns.
He took off work today and kept the boys out of school because he is taking them to this huge car show here in PA. He wants me to go. But, I can't see myself enjoying being at a car show for 8 or more hours. He said there are crafts and stuff there. I think he was teasing me last night when he said. They have a bead stand, and a car that you can get into and record karaoke. Yeah right. LOL.
If I go, I'm just gonna end up getting grouchy after about 2 hours and make it hard for them to have fun.
Anyway. It's up to you today to not use any alcohol.
Good Luck Alyce, We are all routing for you.
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