Rowan

Don't give up. Don't drink. Do your best to reach out tonight.

Keep reaching out here. Feel free to PM me anytime if you need to talk - I'm around a lot.

odaat

I tend to just burst in to tears whenever someone asks me if I'm okay, and I really just clam up and can't get the words out. I just don't want to be a burden on anyone, and I'm scared that I'll ask for help and they'll say no.

parentrecovers

oh odaat - i'm glad you know you can reach out here today.

Tazman53

odaat there are only 2 types of people in AA, those seeking help, and those who want to help!

If you reach out to some one and they can not help you they will try and find someone around who can!

In AA I have found that in order to keep what I have I have to give it away.

Why do you think I am here? I am here to learn from other recovering alcoholics and to share my Experience, strength and hope with those who may benefit from it. That is how AA works, alcoholics helping alcoholics.

Rowan

I understand not wanting to be a burden to anyone - I understand the fear of rejection. It's hard for me too - although less so today. Even if you are only able to share briefly that you are in pain and wish to talk to someone, then pass to the next person, that will hopefully open the door for someone to approach you after the meeting. All we can do is put it out there. You can do this. I completely understand what you're going through.

odaat

I think I'll try and talk to someone either before or after the meeting. I've never spoken in a meeting, and I think I'd rather speak for the first time in my nice, safe and quiet home meeting. Only 45 minutes to go. I've had a bath and got dressed. Kinda looking forward to the meeting, but kind of not. It is a step meeting, and I got the impression that it isn't really for newcomers. I wasn't planning on going back, but I need to do something today.

parentrecovers

be sure to check in later, odaat, and let us know how the meeting goes..

hugs, k

Rowan

It's never too early to start the steps, and even if they are on a step that you're not yet familiar with, that's okay.
I'm very glad you're going. And yes, please, check in afterwards and let us know how it went.

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

(((Odaat))))

I'm just getting it through my head that my not reaching out and sharing, and yes, crying to someone is causing me to have more isolation. I KNOW how hard it is to do it. Believe me.

I cried with my sponsor today and I feel so much better.

I, too, suffer from depression. I just want you to know how much I feel for you..

Taz is right, I started to take baby steps in getting better when I asked someone to sponsor me and started working the steps.

Karen

odaat

I'm glad I went to the meeting. It was a nice meeting, and a lady I met at the Monday meeting was sharing. Shes very approachable, and she spoke a lot about how stubborn she was, and how she wanted everything on her terms. What she said spoke to me. I got her number at the last meeting, and she told me to call her this week. She also gave me a lift home as we live near each other, and had a nice conversation. She has a good sobriety and talking to her really helped. She was the first person that I approached and asked if we could talk, usually I sit there terrified until someone talks to me. I think I need to go to a few more meetings, three or four days without is a bit long for me at the moment. I'm going to try really hard to phone her this week. Another lady took my number and is going to text me, which is good - a small step towards reaching out a bit more.

Thanks for being there earlier, it really helped.

Rowan

Way to go! I'm so proud of you for reaching out. I think it's a good idea to go to more meetings. Keep us posted, and please keep posting. Whatever comes to mind. It helps to connect regularly with others in recovery.

odaat

I'm still wondering about sponsorship, but I was talking to someone tonight who said that when she met the right person it just hit her. I'm going to try and talk to more people and get a network going.

I'm finding it hard because I've never, ever had a female friend. All my 'mates' have always been men and I can relate more to men and I find it so much easier to talk with them. I'm scared of women.

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

Odaat,

Your certainly aren't alone in being afraid of women..there's a thread on the Woman's forum that you should read..

Great job reaching out!!

parentrecovers

really happy to hear you had a positive experience at your meeting, odaat! great job on reaching out! blessings, k