Binge Drinkers
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: boston, MA
Posts: 16
Binge Drinkers
I have posted on other people's threads, cuz I am not sure how to do this - new today. I am a binge drinker and have been for over 32 years- I remember the first time I blacked out - I was 16 years old! And here I am 48 and you would think that I would know better, but I don't. I live with a drinker/partier - but I cannot blame my husband of 18 years for my addiction, because I had it when we met and brought it into the marriage - it was just handy that he drank too. I have not hit "rock bottom" as they say - never been arrested, haven't lost a client (yet), I have three healthy, beautiful, well-adjusted children, live a very nice life and no one would even notice that something is wrong except that lately I have been acting REALLY ABNORMALLY and drinking until I pass out and blacking out, etc. I feel like I am under a lot of stress - not sure why, other than I am very unhappy in my (perfect) marriage and am trying to raise children under circumstances where I am always fighting with my husband, blah blah blah. If I have been abusing alcohol this long - where is Rock Bottom for someone like me?? When do I "get it" and quit? Any advice is welcome - I have money, health, travel all the time, you name it, I've got it - the only thing I am losing is self-respect and my memory.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hi skigirl,
I was a blackout drinker too. I'm addicted to booze and to benzos (anti-anxiety narcotics). I started my recovery journey when I was 33. I hadn't lost everything, either. I've learned that our bottom is when we choose to enter recovery. It isn't necessary to lose things or to suffer a crisis before we sober up.
It sounds like alcohol is causing some problems in your life. I will come back and post a couple of links for you to read that you may find helpful. I hope you continue to post and to read.
Rowan
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html (blackouts are discussed in #35)
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/ar...640436,00.html
I was a blackout drinker too. I'm addicted to booze and to benzos (anti-anxiety narcotics). I started my recovery journey when I was 33. I hadn't lost everything, either. I've learned that our bottom is when we choose to enter recovery. It isn't necessary to lose things or to suffer a crisis before we sober up.
It sounds like alcohol is causing some problems in your life. I will come back and post a couple of links for you to read that you may find helpful. I hope you continue to post and to read.
Rowan
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html (blackouts are discussed in #35)
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/ar...640436,00.html
Last edited by Rowan; 09-25-2007 at 12:49 PM. Reason: added links
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: boston, MA
Posts: 16
Thanks Rowan - I have signed up for a local outpatient alcohol abuse program that meets five days a week from 8:30 a.m. until 2 p.m. - Mother's Hours- that I start in two weeks. I just feel so ashamed of myself! And I cant' stop crying!
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Welcome SkiGirl-Glad that you found us! This deserve's a pat on the back because you are here and looking for support! You have come to the right place! That was your first good choice! Now let's move on to number 2........
blessings
blessings
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: boston, MA
Posts: 16
The worst part is that I have never socialized without drinking. I spent one full year sober in 2001, and from 1993 until 1999 was sober due to being pregnant and/or nursing, but from 2001 until the present has felt like one long party. This past year has been the worst - I lost a friend to cancer in May 2006 and another friend in a car wreck (she was drunk, as was the driver) in September 2006, and I feel like I have been in a spiral down ever since. I have made my husband move into the guest room, and I flirt with other men (not so much lately as I am too drunk at parties to do even this) but I am very unhappy. I don't know if I drink because I am miserable or am miserable because I drink! Probably both. I am very particular - fine red wine and Belvedere Vodka. That's it. It's funny, if those two things are not available, I don't drink! Even when offered Champagne, I'll only have one glass! Weird.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
I never socialized without drinking, either, and I was sober during both pregnancies and nursing. I was married, yet flirted with other men.
I thought I was a wine connoisseur (sp?) and had a lovely oak wine rack. What a joke! I would come home with all my wines, hang them up, and proceed to drink them. I never could keep it full and upon entering recovery, gave it to my parents (they can't keep it full either lol). It could have been 40 dollar or 4 dollar wine, though, it didn't matter. Alcohol was what mattered.
I'm sorry that you lost two friends this past year. I hope that you are able to get sober and properly grieve them.
I thought I was a wine connoisseur (sp?) and had a lovely oak wine rack. What a joke! I would come home with all my wines, hang them up, and proceed to drink them. I never could keep it full and upon entering recovery, gave it to my parents (they can't keep it full either lol). It could have been 40 dollar or 4 dollar wine, though, it didn't matter. Alcohol was what mattered.
I'm sorry that you lost two friends this past year. I hope that you are able to get sober and properly grieve them.
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
WOW! Your story is so similar to mine, with a very few exceptions:
My "bottom" was not very dramatic...it occurred when I heard someone describing a trip to Europe...a life-long goal of mine...and, I couldn't imagine not drinking while traveling through Ireland, Scotland, Italy, France, etc. I started bawling like a baby, and realized I had a serious problem...it was a wake-up call that enabled me to quit drinking and become active in AA.
BTW...I made two trips to Europe after fourteen years of sobriety.
Originally Posted by skigirl 
I am a binge drinker and have been for over 32 years- I remember the first time I blacked out - I was 16 years old! And here I am 48 and you would think that I would know better, but I don't.
I finally quit in 1979 when I was 48.
I live with a drinker/partier - but I cannot blame my husband of 18 years for my addiction, because I had it when we met and brought it into the marriage - it was just handy that he drank too.
We were together 22 years...married for 25.
I have not hit "rock bottom" as they say - never been arrested, haven't lost a client (yet), I have three healthy, beautiful, well-adjusted children.
My three children are not what you would call "well-adjusted"...they all inherited the alcoholic/addict genes. Two are in recovery themselves.
I am very unhappy in my (perfect) marriage and am trying to raise children under circumstances where I am always fighting with my husband, blah blah blah.
My marriage was not that perfect...not from the time we met in a bar...never should have married...finally did divorce.
If I have been abusing alcohol this long - where is Rock Bottom for someone like me?? When do I "get it" and quit?
I finally quit in 1979 when I was 48.
I live with a drinker/partier - but I cannot blame my husband of 18 years for my addiction, because I had it when we met and brought it into the marriage - it was just handy that he drank too.
We were together 22 years...married for 25.
I have not hit "rock bottom" as they say - never been arrested, haven't lost a client (yet), I have three healthy, beautiful, well-adjusted children.
My three children are not what you would call "well-adjusted"...they all inherited the alcoholic/addict genes. Two are in recovery themselves.
I am very unhappy in my (perfect) marriage and am trying to raise children under circumstances where I am always fighting with my husband, blah blah blah.
My marriage was not that perfect...not from the time we met in a bar...never should have married...finally did divorce.
If I have been abusing alcohol this long - where is Rock Bottom for someone like me?? When do I "get it" and quit?
BTW...I made two trips to Europe after fourteen years of sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: library
Posts: 131
Hi Skigirl
My life sounded almost identical to yours (except 4 children and I got along well w/husband--he had no idea how much I was drinking). One morning, after the usual quietly throwing up so as not to alert anyone to my problem, I said to myself, I'VE HAD ENOUGH! I marched to the kitchen table (quickly, so I wouldn't lose my nerve), told my husband and then began the whole detox/recovery thing. (Not much of a bottom.) I was 48.
Been sober over 3 years. Life is so, so much better.
Do something now before the snowballing begins.
jane
My life sounded almost identical to yours (except 4 children and I got along well w/husband--he had no idea how much I was drinking). One morning, after the usual quietly throwing up so as not to alert anyone to my problem, I said to myself, I'VE HAD ENOUGH! I marched to the kitchen table (quickly, so I wouldn't lose my nerve), told my husband and then began the whole detox/recovery thing. (Not much of a bottom.) I was 48.
Been sober over 3 years. Life is so, so much better.
Do something now before the snowballing begins.
jane
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: dallas, tx
Posts: 82
Just give it time
Originally Posted by skigirl
I have posted on other people's threads, cuz I am not sure how to do this - new today. I am a binge drinker and have been for over 32 years- I remember the first time I blacked out - I was 16 years old! And here I am 48 and you would think that I would know better, but I don't. I live with a drinker/partier - but I cannot blame my husband of 18 years for my addiction, because I had it when we met and brought it into the marriage - it was just handy that he drank too. I have not hit "rock bottom" as they say - never been arrested, haven't lost a client (yet), I have three healthy, beautiful, well-adjusted children, live a very nice life and no one would even notice that something is wrong except that lately I have been acting REALLY ABNORMALLY and drinking until I pass out and blacking out, etc. I feel like I am under a lot of stress - not sure why, other than I am very unhappy in my (perfect) marriage and am trying to raise children under circumstances where I am always fighting with my husband, blah blah blah. If I have been abusing alcohol this long - where is Rock Bottom for someone like me?? When do I "get it" and quit? Any advice is welcome - I have money, health, travel all the time, you name it, I've got it - the only thing I am losing is self-respect and my memory.
outtahere
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 519
Why do you have to wait until you hit bottom? You really don't want to hit bottom!
Take a look at the bottoms others have hit. Do you really want that to happen to you?
Who knows how much worse it will get before you hit bottom? Perhaps you should just decide to quit now, before it gets any worse.
Take a look at the bottoms others have hit. Do you really want that to happen to you?
Who knows how much worse it will get before you hit bottom? Perhaps you should just decide to quit now, before it gets any worse.
No more merlot, more mamma
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hills, Ct
Posts: 2,139
HI,
Good for you for already signing up for outpatient. That took a lot of courage.
And Angie is right, don't be ashamed..we've all been there. Same with Rowen, we've all been afraid.
Big Hugs,
Karen
Good for you for already signing up for outpatient. That took a lot of courage.
And Angie is right, don't be ashamed..we've all been there. Same with Rowen, we've all been afraid.
Big Hugs,
Karen
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: London
Posts: 345
Hi
I used to drink to blackout too. It seems impossible to make a change but when you decise you want to you will find you have the strenght to do so. Just as you choose to drink you can choose not to. And when you do decide it is time we will be here to help you.
Good luck!
I used to drink to blackout too. It seems impossible to make a change but when you decise you want to you will find you have the strenght to do so. Just as you choose to drink you can choose not to. And when you do decide it is time we will be here to help you.
Good luck!
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