I can't take this anymore
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 8
I can't take this anymore
Hi, I'm a addicted to crack cocaine and I'm weeping as I write this message. I just can't take it anymore. I always promise myself it'll be my last time and I always break my promises. I've ruined my reputation, my wife left with my son, I've done things while high that make me feel so low and debased. I've lost my pride, my confidence, thousands of dollars, my best friend. I'm just so weak so I punched "message board for drug addicts" into google and I found this board. I hope by my being able to discuss my addiction with people who have had similar experiences it would help my state of mind. Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hi Dumaurier,
I'm so glad you found us and that you decided to post.
I'm an addict - addicted to booze and benzos. Been in recovery a while. Getting things back that I lost.
Recovery is possible, if you want it, friend. Check out this link for our substance abuse forum you'll find lots of support there also.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/substance-abuse/
Keep reading and posting, keep coming.
Rowan
I'm so glad you found us and that you decided to post.
I'm an addict - addicted to booze and benzos. Been in recovery a while. Getting things back that I lost.
Recovery is possible, if you want it, friend. Check out this link for our substance abuse forum you'll find lots of support there also.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/substance-abuse/
Keep reading and posting, keep coming.
Rowan
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: media, pa
Posts: 243
Hi Dumarier,
Welcome to SR. I'm sorry to hear about all your losses. You'll find that a lot of us that found this site were also once in similarly low-states. You've done the right thing by following your instincts and reaching out for support.
I've not much experience with crack cocaine, so I'll leave the advice to others. I can tell you it does get better, but only if you REALLY WANT TO CHANGE. Usually it takes people to hit rock bottom before they have this epiphany.
Keep posting,
Dave
Welcome to SR. I'm sorry to hear about all your losses. You'll find that a lot of us that found this site were also once in similarly low-states. You've done the right thing by following your instincts and reaching out for support.
I've not much experience with crack cocaine, so I'll leave the advice to others. I can tell you it does get better, but only if you REALLY WANT TO CHANGE. Usually it takes people to hit rock bottom before they have this epiphany.
Keep posting,
Dave
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 984
Welcome Dumaurier,
It's so good to see you here. First of all There's nothing put in front of us that we can't handle, and this place is the place that has givin me 8 days sober. Now while that may not be a lot of time to a lot of folks. To me it's nothing short of a miracle.
Be proud of yourself. You took the first step toward recovery. It's something that, for me, was humiliating and depressing, but after a few days talking with the kind, supportive people here, I'm well on my way. Stick around here Dumaurier and you will feel a lot better.
I promise that. I am so very sorry for your loss. I can relate. Now I'm on my own too and there's no way I would be able to live if I were drinking and druggin.
Best of luck to you Dumaurier and keep coming back here to post and let us know how you're doing.
Rob
It's so good to see you here. First of all There's nothing put in front of us that we can't handle, and this place is the place that has givin me 8 days sober. Now while that may not be a lot of time to a lot of folks. To me it's nothing short of a miracle.
Be proud of yourself. You took the first step toward recovery. It's something that, for me, was humiliating and depressing, but after a few days talking with the kind, supportive people here, I'm well on my way. Stick around here Dumaurier and you will feel a lot better.
I promise that. I am so very sorry for your loss. I can relate. Now I'm on my own too and there's no way I would be able to live if I were drinking and druggin.
Best of luck to you Dumaurier and keep coming back here to post and let us know how you're doing.
Rob
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: dallas, tx
Posts: 82
Hi Dumarier,
Been there, done that...only with Alcohol.....but I could practically quote you word for word on the rest....I just wanted to let you know that there is hope...it DOES get better.....believe it or not, just having a sincere desire to stop get you already 51% of the way there!!
Been there, done that...only with Alcohol.....but I could practically quote you word for word on the rest....I just wanted to let you know that there is hope...it DOES get better.....believe it or not, just having a sincere desire to stop get you already 51% of the way there!!
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Dumaurier...
Hows it going? Glad you are here.
I have been where you are way too many times to count. And I am not too far past it. Not over it...Just working my way toward recovery.
Crack is the most evilest drug ever in my eyes.
I am learning to HATE it so much now instead of fantasising about it.
Your not going to get better overnight. And I am gonna tell you. Like any addiction....You are going to have to really want to get clean for it to happen.
And I dont know about other drugs but I know from a crack point of view that it will haunt you in your sleep..sneak up on you when you least expect it..In your subconscience and conscience. You have got to keep your guard up and stand your ground. You will have to ride out the nausea and the flipping stomach and the heart pounding and antisipation all that hell. But it does pass and it so worth it and you will feel so good after awhile.
I know exactly how you feel and I hurt for you.
I am so sick and tired of feeling that way and not having **** and being a loser over that crap. I am getting mad thinking about the things I have gone through...lost and done over that evil crap.
Recovery is possible. And there is so much support here on this board. This is where I started my journey to recovery doing the same thing you did. Just googling or keyword boards. This was the 2nd one I found and I have been here ever since.
Hope to see more of you.
Sry if my post is erratic...But I just am disgusted over crack I get all bent thinking about it.
Anyway..Glad you are here. And keep posting.
Hows it going? Glad you are here.
I have been where you are way too many times to count. And I am not too far past it. Not over it...Just working my way toward recovery.
Crack is the most evilest drug ever in my eyes.
I am learning to HATE it so much now instead of fantasising about it.
Your not going to get better overnight. And I am gonna tell you. Like any addiction....You are going to have to really want to get clean for it to happen.
And I dont know about other drugs but I know from a crack point of view that it will haunt you in your sleep..sneak up on you when you least expect it..In your subconscience and conscience. You have got to keep your guard up and stand your ground. You will have to ride out the nausea and the flipping stomach and the heart pounding and antisipation all that hell. But it does pass and it so worth it and you will feel so good after awhile.
I know exactly how you feel and I hurt for you.
I am so sick and tired of feeling that way and not having **** and being a loser over that crap. I am getting mad thinking about the things I have gone through...lost and done over that evil crap.
Recovery is possible. And there is so much support here on this board. This is where I started my journey to recovery doing the same thing you did. Just googling or keyword boards. This was the 2nd one I found and I have been here ever since.
Hope to see more of you.
Sry if my post is erratic...But I just am disgusted over crack I get all bent thinking about it.
Anyway..Glad you are here. And keep posting.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Welcome to SR Dumaurier, my name is Martin and I am an alcoholic, crack from what I have heard is a real B***** from what I have heard from recovering alcoholics/addicts in the rooms of AA.
I can share with you that I found a solution to my alcoholism in AA, I can also share that in those very same rooms there are folks who have found the solution for their drug addiction in NA & thier alcoholism in AA.
The recovery program in AA & NA are almost identical, the only difference in the 12 steps of NA & AA is step one. In AA step one is:
I beleive in NA you would substitute "our addicition" for "alcohol", other then that it is the same.
Keep an open mind, remember you are not alone, as you have already seen there are others, many of which have found a way to be clean and stay clean.
Look I know nothing about crack, I do know that seeing a doctor and being honest with the doctor is the beginning. I also know that recovery is possible, I have seen it.
The beginning of recovery is getting totally honest about the problem and reaching your hand out for help, there are many paths to recovery, you just need to keep following those paths until you find the path that leads to your recovery.
Keep in mind that no program will work for anyone unless they work the program, getting sober/clean is not easy, but it is possible and is well worth it.
I can share with you that I found a solution to my alcoholism in AA, I can also share that in those very same rooms there are folks who have found the solution for their drug addiction in NA & thier alcoholism in AA.
The recovery program in AA & NA are almost identical, the only difference in the 12 steps of NA & AA is step one. In AA step one is:
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.
Keep an open mind, remember you are not alone, as you have already seen there are others, many of which have found a way to be clean and stay clean.
Look I know nothing about crack, I do know that seeing a doctor and being honest with the doctor is the beginning. I also know that recovery is possible, I have seen it.
The beginning of recovery is getting totally honest about the problem and reaching your hand out for help, there are many paths to recovery, you just need to keep following those paths until you find the path that leads to your recovery.
Keep in mind that no program will work for anyone unless they work the program, getting sober/clean is not easy, but it is possible and is well worth it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: MA.
Posts: 1,719
Welcome to SR...
I tried well let me rephrase, I experienced the high of crack for a period of two consecutive weeks...It was the BEST high I ever had...Thank God the person I was with cared enough to STOP the flow of this drug...I surely would have been a crack addict...
So glad you found us, keep posting...
I tried well let me rephrase, I experienced the high of crack for a period of two consecutive weeks...It was the BEST high I ever had...Thank God the person I was with cared enough to STOP the flow of this drug...I surely would have been a crack addict...
So glad you found us, keep posting...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Tampa, Fl
Posts: 1
I know how it is too
I don't know how to say it, but it is not easy being a crack addict. I'm one too. I think you and I have something in common and that is we want something different. Let me tell you bro that you don't quit overnight and the past will follow you forever. Money does not grow on tree and crack is not a cheep drug. That I experienced and saw is the main distruction of this drug is when you get geeked out for the last and last and last big hit. Never stops. I went 1 1/2 mounths not seeing my so called friends and it felt so good being away from it that I felt I was ready to say I am not an addict till last Friday I went to a party for my crack head friend and slipped when he dropped a cookie on the tabble and said "bro help your self." Even went to work high with no sleep for 30+ hours. It's like the devil and holds you in. I came to a conclusion that I can't be around people who are involved with that stuff or I will never be able to stop. My advise to you is to find a way to keep your mind of that drug and find new friends who appreciate you not what you have. Don't try to go into recovery with a fellow addict, because I tried many times and it does not work. We just said last time to many times I give up trying that way. Good luck and hope for the best for you and me. I know all of us crack addicts out there can change and get away from the most unforgiving drug out there. You are not alone.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
the past will follow you forever.
The past is the past, one can choose to let thier past destroy thier present or one can forgive them selfs of thier past as they accept the forgiveness of thier Higher Power and try and make amends to those in thier past that they have harmed.
This is all handled via the 12 steps and allows us to move forward into the present of our lifes and recovery.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: FRIENDSWOOD, TEXAS
Posts: 500
Hi, I don,t know much about crack , I have heard alot about it, I have done cocaine before, but noot crack, my addiction is alcohol and benzo's(preferably xanax), and I had to go thru a detox hospital and therapy, there is no way I could have quit cold turkey or on my own, I had alot of the feelings you are having, I got to where I was using to just get by for the day , I would wake up shaking abd would take a "bar" xanax and have a couple of beers so the shaking would stop and I would do this thru the day and got to where it was not fun anymore unless I got something to drink that was hard liquor or take more bars, cause my tolerance had gotten so high. I had problems w/family and with the law and lost jobs cause of it. I have been sober 2 months but I know this addiction problem with probably haunt me for a long time, especially the xanax.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: boston, MA
Posts: 16
Binge Drinking is ruining my life
I am a 48 year old married mother of three. I have beautiful, healthy children, in fact, from the outside, a perfect life. Wealthy, healthy, athletic, well- educated (double Ivy) yet I have been binge drinking my entire life. I have recently asked my husband to move out of the bedroom - my anxiety levels around him are astronomical - but he in no way is responsible for my drinking. I make a fool of myself at parties, but then try to apologize and laugh it off. I have lost a lot of friends, have recently isolated myself, and just wonder how I ended up feeling so ******. How many other "happily" married women out there in suburbia (hell) feel like me??
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: FRIENDSWOOD, TEXAS
Posts: 500
skigirl, I feel like you do and I pretty much fit in your description except for the wealth part, we live from paycheck to paycheck, and I don't know what the problem and I am not a binge drinker, I was much worse I could not go a day without drinking, I was a daily drinker, I am married, live in a nice neighborhood, have a bachelor's degree in Business from University of Houston, I have 2 sons, 19 and 13 and have a grandson, 2 months old, I am now sober 2 months, but I wonder sometimes how I got to this place in my life, the only thing I can come up with is I have felt like something is missing in my life.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: dallas, tx
Posts: 82
Skigirl.....I had all that too and lost it d/t my disease ( Alcoholism). My "binging" went on for about 20 years and then progressed into daily drinking the last 4-5 yrs ( this IS a PROGRESSIVE disease - please don't think otherwise!!!!!). I wish I had recognized my problem early on....but, they say you get here when you get here and thank God you got here...because so many don't.
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