New person here, advice on my addiction needed!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: san jose, ca
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by WLDKATZ 
So So CAL, Sound way to close to me to even beconsidered funny, they say that there is a duplicate copy of a person laying around somewhere..... I am the female you at 37 who is now 103 days clean of everything......I am still a Master student with emu. I still sit on city council. I am still the perfect daughter WHO CRASHED....I needed help took me going to jail for something that I won't go into but I had to own up to my faults and making amends, I had to do my program quick and fast, but I did it honestly and openly. Ask for help I am so glad you found SR, read the threads post on them but keep talking, the more time you are here the less time you have with the pills, weed and other stuff.....Thanks for being here! And please come back! BTW, You might want to try going to an NA meeting, there are GREAT people to talk to there!
I'll look into asking for help, but again it's very hard since I don't want others knowing my 'other side'. I only want them to know the perfection.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: san jose, ca
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by Rowan
Sorry for assuming you were a woman - I identified SO strongly with your post - and your description of yourself! The offer to PM me still stands, regardless.
But I appreciate it!
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Redefining Happy
Posts: 2,085
Hi,
I am new here, too. I don't have any advice to offer, but I can relate to your background.
I landed in my former profession for mostly the wrong reasons. I wanted people to think I was smart and I wanted to continue the family tradition (my dad is nationally known in the profession, my bro is getting his PhD in it). Plus, I didn't know what the heck else I wanted to do!! So I closed my eyes and swan dived (or is it dove?) into it.
I am a SAHM right now and I wouldn't want to have it any other way. I don't miss my former job at all. I miss the people that I went to school and worked with, but not the job. I wish I would have been able to realize that before spending so many years in school studying to be something that I really am not cut out for and something that doesn't "do it" for me. Hindsight is 20/20 as they say
Keep reading this forum and post whenever you need to.
R.
I am new here, too. I don't have any advice to offer, but I can relate to your background.
I landed in my former profession for mostly the wrong reasons. I wanted people to think I was smart and I wanted to continue the family tradition (my dad is nationally known in the profession, my bro is getting his PhD in it). Plus, I didn't know what the heck else I wanted to do!! So I closed my eyes and swan dived (or is it dove?) into it.
I am a SAHM right now and I wouldn't want to have it any other way. I don't miss my former job at all. I miss the people that I went to school and worked with, but not the job. I wish I would have been able to realize that before spending so many years in school studying to be something that I really am not cut out for and something that doesn't "do it" for me. Hindsight is 20/20 as they say
Keep reading this forum and post whenever you need to.
R.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 984
I have trouble sleeping to. I think it has something to do with the fact that our bodies are so used to us being in a certain state of mind at a certain time and when we refuse our bodies those meds that put you in that state, it retaliates. I am only 5 days old but it's been happening where I can't get but like 4-5 hours of sleep each night, and how much of that do you think was quality? I firmly believe that we have to let our bodies get back into the habbit of being chemical free. I'm going to stick it out though because of January 6th Thought for the day. Feel free to read through that thread. I think it's a good one. if you read it, replace alcohol with pills
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 323
Originally Posted by SoCalBenz
The inside doesn't match the outside. It's such a disparity between the me that I'm describing here and the one that I put on for everyone else. I think my problem is that I want to please everyone but myself. My family and their friends are everything to me. They are all very successful, doctors, lawyers, ceos, my grandpa helped start the mets. I feel that I MUST do something on that level. I don't want them to look at me when I'm 20 and I've gone nowhere. Our nanny, the person who cared for me when I was little and my brother now who drove us around, cleaned our hosue...etc. She's been with our family since before I was born. She also says that I NEED to be successful. Same with my grandma, same with everyone! Either they say it outright or they imply it.
It's pressure, but I like the challenge and the pressure and the success.
It's pressure, but I like the challenge and the pressure and the success.
You can't live your life for anyone else. I'm sure your family and friends wouldn't want to see you suffer just so you could keep your image of the perfect child/student. You've really got to think about that. Example: Let's say your mother/father/friend was in your situation and didn't tell you due to fears of you being mad or ashamed? Any good parent would want their child to be happy and healthy. I truly hope you don't let superficial standards keep you from getting the help you need. I wish you the best. 
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