comfyone

At 15 I homebrewed in the attic so my friends and I could party w/o having to go through trouble of acquiring drink. I never got truly drunk until I tested the first batch I ever made.

Soon after that I broke up w/a gf of 2 years, had family problems and school problems. And the 5 gallons of hard cider in the attic became something I could use to make lonely moments tolerable. Or I could fill up two big bottles in the morning, chug them before I went into school, and sit through the day wasted. I saw it as just something fun. I never took a step back to look at myself.

Then I met a girl who introduced me to weed, mushrooms, lsd. Thats how I got deep into the drugs. Smoking weed everyday. Then when I broke up with her I started snorting pills and I took weed to another level. Smoking at least an eighth oz daily.

So the first drink, was to party. Then I just became dependent on substances to escape and feel good. And I felt like I had nothing going for me, so why not?

It's so strange to see how things changed.

alicias

I remember someone giving me a Xanax and I loved the feeling and the next thing you know I was at the doctor's getting a prescription. I took them for years and didnt abuse them and then got into parting with them and then one day I stopped taking them. About 6 years later I ran into an old friend and she gave me some peach xanax and I took them thinking nothing of it. How weak I am, the next thing you know I found myself at this doctors office getting xanax bars, thought I was in heaven, haha it just took me a little bit to realize I was really in HELL. I tried but I couldnt take them as prescribed, no way. I was on a high dose anyway which threw me right back into that party life that I hate.

PaperDolls

The first time I drank it was purely curiosity. From then on I always drank because I wanted to get drunk. I could just forget about everything when I was drunk ..... especially if I drank myself into a blackout. Why I wanted (or want) to hide from things and emotions I still do not know. I guess I felt it was easier that way.

Hevyn

I was shy, introverted & self-conscious. I was around 20 when I discovered I felt better about everything when I'd had a few. It was a love affair right from the start. It ended up being the worst thing for someone with my personality, since I never grew or matured normally until much later in life, and staying numb half the time actually caused me to be more isolated from the outside world.

scaredykat

I was 17 the first time I drank. I mostly did it to fit in and show the other kids i was cool. I was very shy back in high school and already had no self esteem hardly. I fell in love with it first drunk. I drank for almost 25 years with some sobriety in between. My drinking career ended as a house wife drunk, drinking alone and never wanting to go anywhere and being very depressed.

Barb

eggie

me too, did you ever go?

LogCabin

I don't remember it, but apparently I enjoyed taking sips of beer when I was 3 or 4 years old also.

But I can remember as a child watching all the stupid adults drinking wine from jugs, and smoking those funny smelling cigarettes. (Hippie parents and friends). I swore to my sister that I would NEVER be like that.

Fast forward to age 14. My friends were going to walk to the park and smoke a joint. I was giddy with fear, but I wanted to be a part of that crowd. And I went. And we sat in a circle and passed the joint. I can't remember how I felt. Not bad, not good. Just different. I Then continued to smoke pot for the next 25 years. It was the times too. My best friend's parents gave her an ounce of pot for her 16th birthday.

That year we also took a school trip, and people started drinking. I had a few sips but did not like it. I held my best friend's head out of the throw up and sand all night.

I finally drank one night to get drunk at the age of 16 with another best friend. Southern Comfort. We ran around the streets and thought we were the Sh*t! Grown up now...oh yeah.

I never was one to drink to because of shyness. I was already very out-going. I drank to escape emotional pain however. Once I saw the connection between drinking and numbing...that was what I wanted. I always drank too much when I did drink. I always felt like a loser. And my Mom did all she could to make sure I always felt that way..in fact she still tries. So drinking took away the pain I felt just about all the time. I was always looking for approval and acceptance from everywhere. Alcohol let me relax for a while.

I didn't become physically addicted to alcohol until I was 39 years old. Then a whole new level of sickness began. I became a daily drinker, and was miserable until I was able to quit. But it took a couple years of trying to finally quit.


(And yes...I see this is an old post...but that's ok with me!)

Horselover

I, like a few others, drank to overcome shyness. I held off for a few years, but I "think" I started in my freshman year. A lot of my friends started in middle school. I can remember going to parties at friends' houses and the parents supplying the beer and I would pretty much stay by myself. I was painfully shy by this time. Funny thing was I was outgoing when I was really young. My shyness kind of grew on me.

I can remember when I first started drinking and getting that high on top of the world feeling and becoming outgoing once again. I would drink so much that I could be hungover from Saturday morning until Monday night. I often missed school on Mondays after partying on a Friday.

I continued to drink through high school, college, 20's and my 30's. I briefly quit in my 20's and then resumed. I finally quit this past May and hope to be old someday saying I became smart and sober in my 40s.

As I have said before, I have drank enough for a room full of people in their lifetimes.

least

I had drinking times in my younger life but for some reason never had trouble stopping. But in March of last year I started having a glass of wine before the girls got home from school so I would be 'relaxed' and not so crabby. If I had known then what I was getting myself into... maybe I wouldn't have continued to drink. But I will never know for sure what might have happened. I'm just glad that I want to stay sober this time around.

:ghug2

Toomutch

I grew up in an upper class environment. My parents had a full stocked bar with absolutly every kind of bottle in there. They threw elaborate parties with their country club friends, professional golfers, people in the public eye etc...
I always had the impression that every high class person drank, it seemed so elegant in my eyes.
When I was 14 and my parents were out of town I had some friends over and we got into the endless supply of alcohol. I blacked out that night. I didn't remember driving our golf cart around with friends hanging off of it, I did'nt remember the police escorting me home.
I should have known from that point on that I had better not drink, because the next day I began taking vodka to school in a fingernail polish remover bottle. I kept right on drinking because thats what we did.

toooldfratguy

I took my first drink at a frat party, and I absolutely loved it, although I thought the beer tasted horrible. It was the best warm feeling ever (although now I don't get that feeling, instead I just get queasy b/c I go way overboard).

I thought it was cool and for a while it did make me cool and fit in, and I was always the "life of the party guy" that folks would call up when they wanted to go out. Now that I'm almost 30 though, I'm just "that drunk guy", and I have finally started to realize that folks find me immature and probably annoying.

Toomutch

I remember drinking even earlier that my initial post.
When we would go out boating and fishing when I was a child, I would be the first one awake on the boat other than my dad. I loved to fish and still do. Anyway the mornings were always cold out on the boat at 5 am. So my dad would give me a shot of brandy to warm me up. I can still remember the warm feeling of it going down - the sad thing is, I liked it. It was our bonding time.

Zencat

My friends were doing it and I was curious to what the deal with drinking was about. I never realised during my drugging career that it would be such a problem to quit or why I would ever want to quit. When I decided to stop drugging I thought rehab was the thing to do. I glad I went. My experience there set the stage for my recovery. It hasn't been easy getting clean but necessary to do. Today I still use the tools I learned and developed in rehab. What I did learn has saved my life on more than one occasion.

cmhcali

Because I wanted to feel a part of something. All my friends were doing and I was not going to be one of them. The older boys all liked me and thought I was mature. If I only knew then what I know now. I would opt out of what I thought was being cool....

Time2Surrender

I didnt wanna feel the pain I was feeling so I got loaded. Today I dont have to pick up whether I feel good or bad.

stillabovewater

You know... this comment so hit home! My dad is an alcoholic and both parents were hardcore drug addicts... I wanted to prove I wasn't like them. My dad when he found out looked at me and his first comment was 'how long will i have to pay for my sins'. I was awed that my problem was his payback... I spent my life trying to be different to turn out exactly the same. EXCECPT: As of this point my kids aren't raised in it, around it, a cook house, addicts, and trash! My parents are clean of anything hard and I'm thankful and they try really hard to make up for my childhood with my kids and for that I'm thankful. However, they are my harshest critics and my never ending reminder of my mistaken path.