Phaze Two
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Somewhere between Kentucky and Alabama
Posts: 4
Phaze Two
Where should I begin? How about at the beginning.
I'm a 26 year old young professional. Growing up through my teenage years, I was very spiritual and was a sucker for positive experiences and emotions. I didn't drink often. When I turned 21, I started to enjoy my newfound freedom. I went out to bars about every other night from age 21-26. I never liked to drink alone. I enjoyed the company of my friends over several hard drinks. I also liked how it loosened me up to talk to the opposite sex. After a few years of drinking, I would drink to the point of blacking out. Sometimes I'd wake up and immediately check my bank account. I could tell by how much money I withdrew from the ATM if I got money for a cab or not. Sometimes I'd run out to see if I parked my car or if someone drove me home. I hated the feeling of not knowing what I did the night before. Once I start drinking, I love to drink more! I've been told my behavior changed at the point I stopped remembering things. As my drinking progressed, my hangovers would become worse. I came damn close to being arrested once. Since I don't like to drink at home, I spent a lot of money in bars. Money I could have spent seeing the world or saving, or giving to the church.
I finally decided enough was enough about three weeks ago. I was mad at all the money and energy I wasted on this pointless activity. It HAS NEVER brought me any lasting happiness.
When I first became sober, I thought it was kinda boring. I felt like Data from Star Trek. Functioning, but not passionate about anything. Well, recently, these emotions I used to experience a few years ago have been coming back.
After being sober for several weeks, I feel this burning desire in my heart that there are big things in store for me. The question I ask myself is did I **** away opportunities that God would have thrown my way if it wasn't for my drinking? Do I get a second chance? Will I ever meet that woman that was made just for me?
I consider myself extremely grateful that I woke up and smelled the coffee sooner rather than later. I haven't had any extreme cravings. Although, the prospect of some mellow wine sounds really nice. What keeps me going is knowing that if I go back to my drinking lifestyle, my emotions/hopes/dreams will once again be supressed. I want more out of life than a hangover. I want to live it to the fullest.
Please ask me anything you want about my experience with alcohol or my newfound sobriety. Or comment if you like. As long as my identity remains hidden, I'm an open book.
God bless all of you for the encouragment I've received from your posts.
-Phaze_Two
I'm a 26 year old young professional. Growing up through my teenage years, I was very spiritual and was a sucker for positive experiences and emotions. I didn't drink often. When I turned 21, I started to enjoy my newfound freedom. I went out to bars about every other night from age 21-26. I never liked to drink alone. I enjoyed the company of my friends over several hard drinks. I also liked how it loosened me up to talk to the opposite sex. After a few years of drinking, I would drink to the point of blacking out. Sometimes I'd wake up and immediately check my bank account. I could tell by how much money I withdrew from the ATM if I got money for a cab or not. Sometimes I'd run out to see if I parked my car or if someone drove me home. I hated the feeling of not knowing what I did the night before. Once I start drinking, I love to drink more! I've been told my behavior changed at the point I stopped remembering things. As my drinking progressed, my hangovers would become worse. I came damn close to being arrested once. Since I don't like to drink at home, I spent a lot of money in bars. Money I could have spent seeing the world or saving, or giving to the church.
I finally decided enough was enough about three weeks ago. I was mad at all the money and energy I wasted on this pointless activity. It HAS NEVER brought me any lasting happiness.
When I first became sober, I thought it was kinda boring. I felt like Data from Star Trek. Functioning, but not passionate about anything. Well, recently, these emotions I used to experience a few years ago have been coming back.
After being sober for several weeks, I feel this burning desire in my heart that there are big things in store for me. The question I ask myself is did I **** away opportunities that God would have thrown my way if it wasn't for my drinking? Do I get a second chance? Will I ever meet that woman that was made just for me?
I consider myself extremely grateful that I woke up and smelled the coffee sooner rather than later. I haven't had any extreme cravings. Although, the prospect of some mellow wine sounds really nice. What keeps me going is knowing that if I go back to my drinking lifestyle, my emotions/hopes/dreams will once again be supressed. I want more out of life than a hangover. I want to live it to the fullest.
Please ask me anything you want about my experience with alcohol or my newfound sobriety. Or comment if you like. As long as my identity remains hidden, I'm an open book.
God bless all of you for the encouragment I've received from your posts.
-Phaze_Two
believer
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Europe
Posts: 2,411
I am glad you have joined us.Welcome!
As you said, there's a lot of inspiration in here..! I am glad about your positivity..This a good place for support also..
keep posting..I am happy you haven't had cravings, but if they come, there's always places to go in those times....take care!
As you said, there's a lot of inspiration in here..! I am glad about your positivity..This a good place for support also..
keep posting..I am happy you haven't had cravings, but if they come, there's always places to go in those times....take care!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
Hi Phaze Two,
Welcome and it sounds like things are going really well for you. I understand you feeling as if things have passed you by, but you are still young and you are sober. That is fantastic! I believe that we are where we should be in this life. You had the experiences you did while you were drinking and that has brought you to this place where you are now. And, it sounds like a great place!
Welcome and it sounds like things are going really well for you. I understand you feeling as if things have passed you by, but you are still young and you are sober. That is fantastic! I believe that we are where we should be in this life. You had the experiences you did while you were drinking and that has brought you to this place where you are now. And, it sounds like a great place!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: South Africa
Posts: 138
My recovery has all been about becomming the person I was truly meant to be. Since I embarked on this journey, I know I have a higher purpose, and am here for a reason. I feel so much better about who I am. Enjoy the journey back to who you truly are....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Somewhere between Kentucky and Alabama
Posts: 4
Wow. First craving for alcohol in almost four weeks since I quit. I'm not sure what's triggering it. Probably because I'm sitting at home on a Saturday night and normally I would be putting my party hat on ready to hit the town! Here's what would happen if I drank a glass of wine: I'd start to relax and want to go to a bar near my house to mingle and have a few more. Six mixed drinks later, I'd be bummed that they are about to announce last call. I would order a double to finish the night off. Then spend $10 bucks on a cab or feel brave enough to drive the 1/2 mile home. I'd then wake up and realize I've spent $40 on a hangover and don't feel like going to church, where I should be and people actually care eabout me, lol.
Has anyone ever met another drunk in a bar who actually gives a damn about you when you're sober? I haven't.
I'm going to go chug down some soda now. Have a nice day!
Has anyone ever met another drunk in a bar who actually gives a damn about you when you're sober? I haven't.
I'm going to go chug down some soda now. Have a nice day!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: England
Posts: 1,733
Congratulations on hitting the four weeks PHAZE TWO.Not had any strong urges myself yet but i've tried to always have something to do.
No,never met a drunk who gives a damn about me when sober, or me about them.
No,never met a drunk who gives a damn about me when sober, or me about them.
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