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The Uphill Journey

Old 09-17-2007, 01:48 PM
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Unhappy The Uphill Journey

hi everyone! i am new here and i am a addict. i used for about 3 years and then had almost 3 years clean time, but i slipped. so i now have sucessful 2 days clean. i started using shortly after i was raped bacisally to escape, i quickly found out that was not the answer, but at the time i was addicted. so i fought myself for awhile, you know the one half telling you too and the other telling you not too. i made up my mind i had to quit when i over dosed and was left to die in the front yard. it was a long journey uphill, but i made it. then i relapsed. now i am back at square one wondering what the hell happened. so once again i am back on that journey uphill that i know will never end, only get eaiser, hopefully.
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Old 09-17-2007, 02:00 PM
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Hi Starlite,

Addiction is truly baffling and it sounds like you are figuring out a way out of the downward spiral. You had 3 years clean time, so you can do it again. Take a look around and read and be inspired.
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Old 09-17-2007, 02:10 PM
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Welcome..

Well you know better, you'll do better..I believe those 3 years represent a path of knowledge for you, something you can use in climbing the mountain now...I am glad you have joined us..

there's a lot of support here..

keep posting!
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Old 09-17-2007, 02:13 PM
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You can draw strength from the 3 years that you were clean. Remember how good you felt. You weren'r sick and tired all of the time. What is the drug of your choice? Were you in a 12 step program during your clean time? If you aren't in a program right now, you really need to get in one fast. You know how to do it and you can do it again.....hugs..................Viki
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Old 09-17-2007, 02:29 PM
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Hi Starlite,

I'm glad you made it back. Welcome to our recovery family - I hope you keep posting and share a little more with us.

Rowan
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Old 09-17-2007, 05:17 PM
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Hi starlite...Glad you are here.
I hope if anything you have learned from what has happened and that I hope you remember even tho it may have been tough how life was during those 3 years of clean time.
Hope to see more of you.
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Old 09-17-2007, 07:50 PM
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my drug of choice was any type of pain pill i could find. i also liked anxiety meds. and those over the counter ephedrin pills (which it was nothing to take 15-25 a day), but mostly pain pills (also nothing to take entirley too many usually 20-30). and in the 3 years clean time i did not go to a 12 step program, although now i think i should have. i am now trying to find a sponser and going to start going to a NA meetings, the first being wednessday.
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Old 09-17-2007, 08:39 PM
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I am glad you are here Star. I was on pills too. Lots of pills. My first DOC was pain pills then it changed to benzos (xanax). I have been clean and sober 8 months and life has gotten really good for me.

It is great that you had 3 years. You did not lose that. You still have the experience of it.

I think it is great that you are going to go to NA. I go to AA and have a sponsor and work the steps. it is a really cool way to live.

Keep hanging out here, you will find awesome people here and keep posting!
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Old 09-17-2007, 09:45 PM
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Hi starlite and welcome to SR.

I have no experience with drugs (except pot), but my drug of choice is alcohol. It sounds like a good plan to try NA.

I go to AA and was sober in the early 90's for almost 2 years. Now I'm back and I keep in my mind How I felt all those years ago and strive to feel that way again.

Glad your here.

Barb
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Old 09-17-2007, 11:21 PM
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Welcome starlite,

I think you now see how much more fulfilling life is without drugs and aren't going to let some lowlife rapist take that away from you anymore.
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Old 09-18-2007, 02:48 AM
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Welcome to SR, you had three years and that rocks it gives you a good start on getting back on the bus with more determination.
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Old 09-18-2007, 04:21 AM
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welcome to SR Star!

xxoo, blessings & recovery...

rz
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Old 09-18-2007, 04:22 AM
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Welcome to Sr...

Hi starlite,

So glad you found us...

Keep posting...
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Old 09-18-2007, 05:09 AM
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Hi Starlite!!

I'm glad that you are here..lots of good support.

Karen
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