Jersey Nonny

You are detoxing...in the withdrawal stages of alcoholism. It's no fun going "cold turkey"...can actually be dangerous...would have been better with the help of a doctor or medical detox.

You're body is naturally craving sugar, too...and the caffeine will make you jumpy. Try water, fruit juices, hard candies, gingerale, Tylenol...all of this was part of my in-hospital detox regimen. Sitting in a warm tub of water might help relax you.

If all else fails, a trip to your local ER would not be unreasonable.

Cekiya

Zack,

Google "online meetings AA"...there are a list of different ones to check out. I'm not sure that it is okay to post other web addresses on this board.

Hang in there; you can do this. Getting through withdrawal is the start of a new and better way to live.

Peace to you,
Cekiya

InstantNoodles

The fact that my cravings are so bad and its all I can think about right now, I am starting to feel weak and pathetic. Its only been 36 hours and it's killing me I just want to sit down and stare at an empty beer can and attempt to see how this damn substance has attempted to dominate my life.

InstantNoodles

Sorry guys, I just couldn't do it...

The shaking, sweating, mental addiction- I mean hell I was even SMELLING it all day... it was all just to much. I drank a bit to calm it all down, but yet a drop of alcohol means I failed I am no where close to being drunk, but I feel terrible. Is this at least progress from being completely drunk on my butt?

All options are on the table now, If I cant even make it 8 hours w/o thinking about it, and no more then 48 hours w/o going back to it, there is no way ill make it to my 48th birthday. I cought this early- but early apparently wasnt early enough for me... I am a heavy alcoholic, and i am scared of myself. I made a choice tonight to drink again, even when I absolutely did not want to.

As much as I would like to say at least im not going to bed drunk tonight for 2 days in a row (for the first time in a year) is a good thing- I still drank and failed my goal.

Does any of this sound like progress? Or do I need to step it up a notch with AA? I mean smokers dont just quit cold turkey right? (i know that sounds like a terrible excuse for what ive done, but is that even remotely true?)

Im sorry everyone. Even though I dont know you all, I know that most of you are here to help out of the kindess of your hearts, and Ive let those members down already on my 2nd day as a member

GlassPrisoner

It gets worse. A lot worse. Shake yourself off and try again.

It sound like a brief peiod of sobriety, which will be followed by a still worse relapse.

That's what I did. It's the only thing I found that would work. I couldn't quit. And if I quit, I couldn't stay stopped.

Go now if you can. I had to wait until there was no-where else to go and no-one to turn to. Of course, being that deperate, I embraced recovery.....

Hang in there, get to some meetings (a lot of 'em) and hang on for the ride of your life. You won't believe how good it gets after a while !

Octoman

Hi Zak
Dont give up trying. The fact that you are still here posting shows you have the will to beat this.
I think you should follow GlassPrisoner's advice and attend meetings. If you are goingt to beat this you will need a lot of support.

Oct

dopelesshope

There is a saying in Recovery.
"we are only as sick as our secrets". You have a drinking problem and you need help. You know that, your partner has the right to know. Your reasons for not telling her are selfish and manipulative. I think you should Go to meetings, do 90 meetings in 90 days and don't drink in-between meetings. If at the end of those 90 days, you can reevalute where you are. Your misery is totally refundable

You can do it and it's worth it.
The Dopeless Hope Fiend

dopelesshope

If you need medical help, check yourself into detox. get the three squares, vitamins and water. Be around people to keep a mental check and start listening to recovery plans. It won't get any easy to with drawl and cold turkey is the only way. If you can't go into detox, get to meetings.
This will pass and it helps to pray. If ever you need a higher power, now is the time.

Selah

No one denies Detox is hellish, but it's all worth later. I know you feel ill, and shaky and sweaty, but don't attempt to stare at an empty beer can wondering how you got there. I don't care if you rent movies or go outside only to barely walk down the street, breath fresh air - sit on the porch.... The mental & physical parts need to be coddled in different ways. Go to meetings, learn tips from others and know you are not alone. That in itself may take a lot of the pressure off of "keeping the secret"
And yes you need to be open with your fiance, like I said before she deserves to know what she's getting into and I bet she could assist you in keeping you busy during detox/recovery.

InstantNoodles

d

InstantNoodles

Yes keeping a secret like that from her is selfish and inappropriate.

Im sorry that I did not post this already, but I told her the very day I signed up on this board, the night while we were out running around to all those different places.

She said that will support me and stand by my side. This really will help when I move in with her next month- since she said shell check the apartment, smell all the bottled waters, test the gator aid, and do her best to make sure that nothing will slip by her so I cant fall down this path again on her watch.

Last night I feel like it was a step back from a step forward, however tonight my goal is to take a leap as I will not be drinking at my weekly poker night (we play out on my porch). I have it all planned out. I am sitting away from the cooler, and I will be manning the grill as we play. There is nothing better then the smell of burgers accompanied with a nice Dr Pepper in crushed ice w/ a cherry.

...I can taste it now

I have fallen away from the other things that I enjoy that alcohol replaced, and that is Dr. Pepper and Pepsi! Its time to bring those things back and enjoy the taste and the urge to drink those types of drinks.

I have located an AA around the area. And I will be going soon. But for now, I am going back to the other things I enjoy. This morning I have decided I should list the things that keep me busy, happy, and excited. Today I have a poker night. Tomorrow I will be playing NHL 08 to the wee morning with a friend who loves hockey. Friday I am going to sign back up for ice hockey, and that will take care of my Mon Tues Thurs Sat nights of bordem. Saturday I am going golfing with my brother who I rarely see, and I am going out with my Beautiful fiance to a nice dinner.

My main high my entire life was hockey. Hockey was like my symptoms of my detoxing, only they kept me happy. The sweating was getting out there and playing hard for the team. My nausea was me pushing my endurance to the limit. The shaking was the adrenaline after a game winning goal. The side affects of alcohol = beer gut. Side affect of hockey = be fit.

I believe getting back into this sport will be the greatest step to curing my problem.

These are the things I have been thinking about all morning that I cant keep my mind off of, drinking has not been a thought. Right now I am most excited to go in Friday and have a great night on the ice, and know that in the morning instead of waking up in a drunk hangover, ill be waking up with a smile on my face on the road to a golf course with my brother.

Things are looking up

parentrecovers

hey zack, jumping on a bit late to welcome you. WELCOME!

i have a 23 year old daughter who has been working towards recovery the past year, give or take setbacks. it's not easy when you still try to hang out with your using/drinking friends - they just don't understand your new way of thinking sometimes. so hitting some aa meetings and getting to know new folks also in sobriety is a great idea.

keep posting. be humble and honest. recovery is possible.

blessings, k

InstantNoodles

That was a lot harder then I thought, but MAN I love Dr Pepper I am excited for tonight and that is my motivation, however the thought of drinking did come to my mind this morning as I feel sick and naseuated :sigh1:

Any idea on how long the detoxing state lasts?

beaglenut

I felt much better after 5-6 days. But I detoxed for 3 days in a hospital. I had started to shake and hallucinate so I asked someone to take me to ER. Thank God they did as you can die from alcohol withdrawal. At the hospital they gave me medications to control my symptoms and monitored me.

CoriB

[QUOTE=InstantNoodles;1489731]Sorry guys, I just couldn't do it...

The shaking, sweating, mental addiction-

Hi Zach. Keep trying, that is what I am doing. I go a few days, the shakes and sweats freak me out so I drink. I've been doing this for almost a month now. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that I HAVE to do this and I will keep trying no matter what.

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

Hi Zack!

Detox? I was a complete wreak for two weeks. My emotions were all over the place. It takes you by surprise doesn't it? I suggest that you check in with your doctor. Honestly, he/she has seen it all and won't judge you.

Things that helped me to stay stopped in the early days were telling EVERYONE who was close to me,(that way they wouldn't let me drink around them) vitamins, making sure that I was eating, and long hot baths (which are my staple for when I'm stressed anyway). Oh yeah, and lots of candy!

After the detox was over, I went to AA. It's helped me not only to stop drinking and stay stopped, but it's made me a better person.

We're all pulling for you!!

Karen

InstantNoodles

Yeah my desire to drink hasn't been all that strong today, however the detox symptoms are kicking in. Even my boss asked if I was ok- I am really flushed in the face.

The shakes are coming and going, I am hoping tonight when im with my friend I can just have a good time and not think about it all

rloomer

I only get the shakes and stuff after a long night if you know what. it usually lasts about 2 days. I typically just crawl under the blankets until I get hungry. Then i crawl back under them till I get hungry again. Eating and sleeping is my answer to everything though.

InstantNoodles

Going out w/ the brother today. So far im sittin at 48 hours sober, which is a new record.

Cekiya

Yay, Zach!! You go. After awhile, 48 hours becomes 96 and 96 becomes.....well, what happens is that you start living sober, and that is a very good place to be.

Peace to You,
Cekiya