Blundering Blackout Blues
Not drooling
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Not out of the woods yet
Posts: 28
Blundering Blackout Blues
Wow I think I need to write a song with that title... Ha ha. I could definitely write something believible.
Anyway here goes... I am a 29 yr old married mother of 2. I love my children dearly and believe that they are the reason I am writing this in the first place. I have been drinking since I was about 12 or 13. During my teen years my alcohol abuse was definitely bad. I used marijuanna back then too. I stopped using marijuanna after I got in trouble for it. So I started drinking a lot more to "relieve stress" but I probably created more than I relieved lol. I always drank more than I should when I drank after what I call THE PARTY BUG bit me and on quiet nights at home I did occasionally but that got more and more too.
Anyway I have a problem. I am tired of appologizing for things I dont remember doing and feeling like mean idiot waking up the next morning. This is my second attempt to quit. Last time I quit was last year and I stayed sober for 2 months until the holidays hit.... Where I actually seemed to be "handling" my alcohol lol...But its progressive and a year later I am worse than when I quit last time. I would not say that I was drinking daily but it was headed there, and I occasionally participate in that lovely alcoholic tradition of "hair of the dog".
Anyway, I'm here and saying this to other people. I dealt with my addiction alone last time and we see how well that worked. I am done. Now I just need to learn new ways to have fun. Oh my last drink was Sunday.
Anyway here goes... I am a 29 yr old married mother of 2. I love my children dearly and believe that they are the reason I am writing this in the first place. I have been drinking since I was about 12 or 13. During my teen years my alcohol abuse was definitely bad. I used marijuanna back then too. I stopped using marijuanna after I got in trouble for it. So I started drinking a lot more to "relieve stress" but I probably created more than I relieved lol. I always drank more than I should when I drank after what I call THE PARTY BUG bit me and on quiet nights at home I did occasionally but that got more and more too.
Anyway I have a problem. I am tired of appologizing for things I dont remember doing and feeling like mean idiot waking up the next morning. This is my second attempt to quit. Last time I quit was last year and I stayed sober for 2 months until the holidays hit.... Where I actually seemed to be "handling" my alcohol lol...But its progressive and a year later I am worse than when I quit last time. I would not say that I was drinking daily but it was headed there, and I occasionally participate in that lovely alcoholic tradition of "hair of the dog".
Anyway, I'm here and saying this to other people. I dealt with my addiction alone last time and we see how well that worked. I am done. Now I just need to learn new ways to have fun. Oh my last drink was Sunday.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,051
Welcome, glad you're here. I'm another AA guy, after 27 years of daily drinking I've been given a life in sobriety beyond my wildest dreams. Get a meeting list for your area and check out a few.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,051
No I don't tell them, I take them with me! 2-5 meetings every week and they love going with me. It's not such a bad experience for kids, if anything it's leading by example. Besides, where else can you experience so many walks of life coming together for the same reason?
Not drooling
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Not out of the woods yet
Posts: 28
cool... The people I talked to told me I could but at this stage I dont feel comfortable bringing them. Plus they dont have any non smoking meetings . Though i smoke I know what happens when a room full of people are smoking... lol big fog maybe at some point that would be okay.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,499
Hi and Welcome,
You've come to a great place to find support and inspiration. Alcoholism IS a progressive disease and can take over our lives before we know it. It sounds like you're already on your way! And, it does take a lot of work to stay sober. Coming here is always helpful for me.
You've come to a great place to find support and inspiration. Alcoholism IS a progressive disease and can take over our lives before we know it. It sounds like you're already on your way! And, it does take a lot of work to stay sober. Coming here is always helpful for me.
Not drooling
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Not out of the woods yet
Posts: 28
I made my first meeting tonight. It was interesting and helpful. I ended up staying after and getting a lady's #. I ended up getting my 24 hr chip. Well thanks for the advice I was struggling with whether I should go or not and I am glad I did.
Not drooling
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Not out of the woods yet
Posts: 28
Its wierd I feel kinda of freaked out today, like I was in a daze when I was telling people about myself. When I first got out of bed it was almost like "Did I really say those things" lol... I started reading the book last night and got to the end of How it works... I think I have a hard row to hoe with my spirituality. I think I have been searching for years on what my own concept of God is and I had actually givin up.. I guess I have been broken in that way. I thought I could just live my life with out dealing with my God issues lol... After reading I dont think I get to get around this one... Scary
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