I'm drowning...
Its_me_jen
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
I'm drowning...
I'm drowning in debt.
I've never dug a hole so deep for myself before. My bank account has been overdrawn for a month. I can't pay my car payment or my insurance. I've been putting essentials (i.e. gas, groceries) on the one credit card that I'm able to use right now. I'm continuing to dig deeper.
I already have two credit card accounts enrolled in a credit counseling program. I can hardly afford to pay them the monthly payment I've agreed to.
I'm not sure what to do exactly.
I guess the first step is to call my creditors and tell them I'm having a hard time keeping up ....... but I'm not sure what else to say. I don't know when I'll be able to pay. I can't see ever catching up at this point.
Thinking about this is making me sick to my stomach. I could ask my mom for money but I don't really know what her situation is and I hate asking her for help like this.
I guess I just don't know what to do first.
I've never dug a hole so deep for myself before. My bank account has been overdrawn for a month. I can't pay my car payment or my insurance. I've been putting essentials (i.e. gas, groceries) on the one credit card that I'm able to use right now. I'm continuing to dig deeper.
I already have two credit card accounts enrolled in a credit counseling program. I can hardly afford to pay them the monthly payment I've agreed to.
I'm not sure what to do exactly.
I guess the first step is to call my creditors and tell them I'm having a hard time keeping up ....... but I'm not sure what else to say. I don't know when I'll be able to pay. I can't see ever catching up at this point.
Thinking about this is making me sick to my stomach. I could ask my mom for money but I don't really know what her situation is and I hate asking her for help like this.
I guess I just don't know what to do first.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Gisborne New Zealand
Posts: 539
paperdolls yes call the creditors as they need to know to work out a payment plan.
hey Ive being there and did the ostrich in the sand thing and guess what my dept didnt go away!! You NEED TO TELL THE people you owe so they can sort out a payment plan for you. Cut up the cards ( horrible things lol ) maybe see if there are things you can sell around your place and I dont know your age or how it owrks over there maybe ask a bank for a personal loan to pay back the credit card as the banks loan interest bank should be smaller than the credit card interesr rate and listen this is a unerversal problem money woes so dont feel like your the only one ok but you need to be upfront and honest about it coz it wont go away
take care
Ang
hey Ive being there and did the ostrich in the sand thing and guess what my dept didnt go away!! You NEED TO TELL THE people you owe so they can sort out a payment plan for you. Cut up the cards ( horrible things lol ) maybe see if there are things you can sell around your place and I dont know your age or how it owrks over there maybe ask a bank for a personal loan to pay back the credit card as the banks loan interest bank should be smaller than the credit card interesr rate and listen this is a unerversal problem money woes so dont feel like your the only one ok but you need to be upfront and honest about it coz it wont go away
take care
Ang
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hi Jen,
I don't have much in the way of advice because I'm in a similar situation myself. I am going to have to start selling a few things, and I know you have been doing that yourself. It's especially difficulty when your expenses amount to more than you are bringing in each month, I know. I finally told my parents what things are like, and the offer is there if I need the money, so that helped. I can't take a second job and leave my daughter alone so I"ll just keep slugging away.
Sending you prayers for some relief. Hang in there.
Row
I don't have much in the way of advice because I'm in a similar situation myself. I am going to have to start selling a few things, and I know you have been doing that yourself. It's especially difficulty when your expenses amount to more than you are bringing in each month, I know. I finally told my parents what things are like, and the offer is there if I need the money, so that helped. I can't take a second job and leave my daughter alone so I"ll just keep slugging away.
Sending you prayers for some relief. Hang in there.
Row
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 40
It's all good mmkay. I know exactly where you're coming from. I'm a Loan Officer and as you see the market right now sucks @ss!! I'm jobless at the moment and just today had to go re-instate my license, car insurance, and my car tag. The total of all of this was 745.00. Yeah you can say that hurt (hurt like a shark bit my arse) but I'm trying to stay positive. As much as I wanted to spit at the state for making me pay all this stuff, I realize I did it to myself. So who am I p!ssed at??? Myself. Are you working right now?? There are allot of cash advance places you can go to that don't do credit checks that you can go to. Trust me I've had a yard sale and sold my daughter and I's old clothes and stuff. I feel ya. Shoot if ya have too go get a part time job, preferrably one that has fast money like babysitting for someone or a server in a resturant, I did it and it helped allot. Don't let the stress bring you down cause then it's hard to maintain if you know what I mean!! <hugs>
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: SC
Posts: 1,027
I had this problem and am slowly working myself out of it. I ended up taking out an unsecured personal loan and paying off my car and a lot of debt. It ended up that I took the loan for about $16,000 and paid off car, credit cards, etc....my monthly payouts went from $640 to about $375,
I just walked in a local bank, not some big branch that only wants to deal with folks with good credit and talked to them. Explained my situation and they worked with me.
I just walked in a local bank, not some big branch that only wants to deal with folks with good credit and talked to them. Explained my situation and they worked with me.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 40
Also if you own your house and have decent equity in the house then you can check into a refinance-consolidation loan. Right now the stipulations are kinda harsh you have to have pretty good credit. It's worth a try though cause it doesn't hurt you to try. ;o)
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
I'm sorry you're going through this PaperDolls and it must be very stressful. As others have said talking to the creditors is the very best idea. I believe they will be happy to know that you are willing to try to work with them. I hope things slowly improve for you.
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Great advice here...like you i sometimes feel overwhelmed by debt...addiction to alcohol somehow manifested for me into addiction to shopping! 
But like the others bit by bit I'm getting better, doing what I can to get in a bit of extra money - about 3 weeks clean from shopping binges lol and it's getting better. Today I even paid some traffic fines! 
One step at a time and letting the creditors know is a great first start plus something immediate like babysitting type work.
Good luck! I noticed your sobriety date - that's awesome you have your sobriety imainge trying to do this while drinking. I think I would just kill myself - fast as in opposed to killing myself slowly which was what was happening when i was in active alcoholism...slow suicide...LOL and I thought I was having fun!!??
Thank God for recovery
THinking of you
Cathy31
x
But like the others bit by bit I'm getting better, doing what I can to get in a bit of extra money - about 3 weeks clean from shopping binges lol and it's getting better. Today I even paid some traffic fines! One step at a time and letting the creditors know is a great first start plus something immediate like babysitting type work.Good luck! I noticed your sobriety date - that's awesome you have your sobriety imainge trying to do this while drinking. I think I would just kill myself - fast as in opposed to killing myself slowly which was what was happening when i was in active alcoholism...slow suicide...LOL and I thought I was having fun!!??
Thank God for recovery
THinking of you
Cathy31
x
Its_me_jen
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Thank for all of the support. I really need it right now.
To answer some questions. I do have a full-time job. Don't own a home.
I've thought of getting another job to supplement but haven't been able to because I've been struggling with depression for the last two years and just didn't have the energy. I think I'm lucky I didn't get fired from my current job. I think I'm finally on the right meds and I might have the energy to finally do that. I suppose it's just an excuse but I always figure I won't be able to make enough for it to make a difference but I suppose every little bit helps.
I did recently sell some stuff on eBay. It didn't add up to much.
I think I'm working the courage up to call my mom. I hate to put her in that position.
To answer some questions. I do have a full-time job. Don't own a home.
I've thought of getting another job to supplement but haven't been able to because I've been struggling with depression for the last two years and just didn't have the energy. I think I'm lucky I didn't get fired from my current job. I think I'm finally on the right meds and I might have the energy to finally do that. I suppose it's just an excuse but I always figure I won't be able to make enough for it to make a difference but I suppose every little bit helps.
I did recently sell some stuff on eBay. It didn't add up to much.
I think I'm working the courage up to call my mom. I hate to put her in that position.
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
Hi PD,
I have been in the same situation for all of my recovery 2 years 3 Months and 3 weeks and today I have cosolidated all the debts into one lowe interest debt, my Mortgage, at a lower rate. It changes my outgoings by around $1500 per month. I could not do this until now as I had no credibility.
What I did was talk to the banks the 5 credit card companies and work out a payment amount and time with them. I could not always keep to it so I would phone them all again and tell them and make another arrangements. It takes the pressure off, stops the letters and phone calls and stopped me from feeling sick and eventually allowed me to pay off some of the debt and move it all into a low interest loan.
Just keep talking to them, pay what you agree or phone them again.
Hang in there.
Kevin
I have been in the same situation for all of my recovery 2 years 3 Months and 3 weeks and today I have cosolidated all the debts into one lowe interest debt, my Mortgage, at a lower rate. It changes my outgoings by around $1500 per month. I could not do this until now as I had no credibility.
What I did was talk to the banks the 5 credit card companies and work out a payment amount and time with them. I could not always keep to it so I would phone them all again and tell them and make another arrangements. It takes the pressure off, stops the letters and phone calls and stopped me from feeling sick and eventually allowed me to pay off some of the debt and move it all into a low interest loan.
Just keep talking to them, pay what you agree or phone them again.
Hang in there.
Kevin
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: London
Posts: 345
Hi PaperDolls
I'm sorry to hear you are under financial pressure. Money issues stink. I am no expert on how the American financial system works but I have worked as a financial adviser here in the UK so I can let you know what advice would be given here :
If you are in debt on credit cards then you are most likely paying a very high interest rate. One option is to consolidate all your debt at a lower rate to give you some breathing room. In the UK a consilidation loan is often used for this purpose. Not sure what you have available there. I would suggest you avoid any special offers with introductory rates etc. like the plague. They are disgned to rip you off. The simpler and more straightforward the loan the better
This loan is then used to pay off all the other debt. So overall you owe no more money, you just have to pay less monthly to service it. This should free up funds to get you life back in order and also tackle the underlying debt.
My advice would be the following :
1. Map out all you forced outgoings and income so you know exactly what your shortfall / surplus is.
2. Work out how much you need to live on as a minimum. Also give youself a little slack - setting excesseivvely tight limits will lead to frustration and blowout. I suggest you work the figure out and then add 10%
3. Check out a number of lenders giving them details of your entire debt and see what interest you will end up paying. And most importantly after paying it that you are left with at least the amount you worked out you need to live on.
4. Speak to your current lenders and explain your problem seeing what they can offer. Compare this to the deals you have worked out.
High street banks offer all these services. Perhaps you could start there.
Hopefully this is some help. If you are looking into any options and are unsure what you are getting into - put the detials on here and I'll check them out for you.
Good luck
I'm sorry to hear you are under financial pressure. Money issues stink. I am no expert on how the American financial system works but I have worked as a financial adviser here in the UK so I can let you know what advice would be given here :
If you are in debt on credit cards then you are most likely paying a very high interest rate. One option is to consolidate all your debt at a lower rate to give you some breathing room. In the UK a consilidation loan is often used for this purpose. Not sure what you have available there. I would suggest you avoid any special offers with introductory rates etc. like the plague. They are disgned to rip you off. The simpler and more straightforward the loan the better
This loan is then used to pay off all the other debt. So overall you owe no more money, you just have to pay less monthly to service it. This should free up funds to get you life back in order and also tackle the underlying debt.
My advice would be the following :
1. Map out all you forced outgoings and income so you know exactly what your shortfall / surplus is.
2. Work out how much you need to live on as a minimum. Also give youself a little slack - setting excesseivvely tight limits will lead to frustration and blowout. I suggest you work the figure out and then add 10%
3. Check out a number of lenders giving them details of your entire debt and see what interest you will end up paying. And most importantly after paying it that you are left with at least the amount you worked out you need to live on.
4. Speak to your current lenders and explain your problem seeing what they can offer. Compare this to the deals you have worked out.
High street banks offer all these services. Perhaps you could start there.
Hopefully this is some help. If you are looking into any options and are unsure what you are getting into - put the detials on here and I'll check them out for you.
Good luck
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: London
Posts: 345
Thsi is the feferal trade commissions website.
Lots of good advice here and ideas of where to go to get help.
http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/pubs/.../kneedeep.shtm
Lots of good advice here and ideas of where to go to get help.
http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/pubs/.../kneedeep.shtm
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
********{PaperDolls}}}}}
just breathe, hon.
that's the next right thing.
and print out Octoman's posts.
kinda glazed MY eyes over, but then, I don't have credit.
banks are far too smart to give someone like ME credit.
So I was spared that particular hell.
We'll be looking for Octoman on Oprah.
I mean.. the Oprah SHOW ...
not *on* Oprah ...
that'd be rude.
just the show.
Sitting in a chair.
I mean.
Wearing a cape.
and a suit.
just like I said when he first started posting.
Jesus.
I gotta go.
just breathe, hon.
that's the next right thing.
and print out Octoman's posts.
kinda glazed MY eyes over, but then, I don't have credit.
banks are far too smart to give someone like ME credit.
So I was spared that particular hell.
We'll be looking for Octoman on Oprah.
I mean.. the Oprah SHOW ...
not *on* Oprah ...
that'd be rude.
just the show.
Sitting in a chair.
I mean.
Wearing a cape.
and a suit.
just like I said when he first started posting.
Jesus.
I gotta go.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
when i first came into recovery I was bankrupt.
AA promised me that the fears of finacial insecurity would leave me.
I've gained everything in recovery..i had automoblies up the wazoo
at one piont in my recovery. I paid off all of my depts and wipe my
credit clean.
Today, I'm stupid bankrupt, but the fear of finacial inaecurity had left.
Why is it so important that it was mentioned to me or writting in the BB.
Well..I sleep like a baby at night when it comes to such matters
and i still havn't had to drink or used over it.
I remember as a young man being married I too also had everything.
But i constantly lived under stress. I was constantly living fears.
Fears of loosing my wife, fear of loosing my duaghter, fear of loosing
everything I owned. That fear alone drove my ex-wife up the wall
and I truned to the bottle to cope...not a good thing.
I ended up loosing everything anyway. My finacial situation wasn't
that bad, all bills were paid..but the longer I got drunk , it
got woste and worst. and I got into self dystructive mode.
Life is different today...I truned my will and live over to a loving
god and not my creditors.
How did i manage to get out of dept when i first got sober ?
I worked the graditude list as a very, very important part of my recovery
and things happens that's beyound logic.
It is through applications that it works, I know it works becuae it
worked for me. and when I make a graditude list...it's never about
having money.
notice i don't post on the graditude list threads...that's why I'm bankrupt.lol
I'm not applying it.
god and i are havning communication issues at the moment .lol
Guess who's not listening ???..We're working something out at the moment,
it's not about the money at the moment
AA promised me that the fears of finacial insecurity would leave me.
I've gained everything in recovery..i had automoblies up the wazoo
at one piont in my recovery. I paid off all of my depts and wipe my
credit clean.
Today, I'm stupid bankrupt, but the fear of finacial inaecurity had left.
Why is it so important that it was mentioned to me or writting in the BB.
Well..I sleep like a baby at night when it comes to such matters
and i still havn't had to drink or used over it.
I remember as a young man being married I too also had everything.
But i constantly lived under stress. I was constantly living fears.
Fears of loosing my wife, fear of loosing my duaghter, fear of loosing
everything I owned. That fear alone drove my ex-wife up the wall
and I truned to the bottle to cope...not a good thing.
I ended up loosing everything anyway. My finacial situation wasn't
that bad, all bills were paid..but the longer I got drunk , it
got woste and worst. and I got into self dystructive mode.
Life is different today...I truned my will and live over to a loving
god and not my creditors.
How did i manage to get out of dept when i first got sober ?
I worked the graditude list as a very, very important part of my recovery
and things happens that's beyound logic.
It is through applications that it works, I know it works becuae it
worked for me. and when I make a graditude list...it's never about
having money.
notice i don't post on the graditude list threads...that's why I'm bankrupt.lol
I'm not applying it.
god and i are havning communication issues at the moment .lol
Guess who's not listening ???..We're working something out at the moment,
it's not about the money at the moment
Last edited by SaTiT; 09-14-2007 at 03:03 AM.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 70
If you aren't upside-down on your car payments sell the car. Buy a beater and use the rest of the money as SAVINGS. Beaters have no car payment and the insurance is stupid cheap. My 1990 mazda 626 costs $35 a month to insure.
You're renting, so find a cheaper place to live or a roomate. Look outside the box on this one. There is tons of affordable housing out there that isn't advertised in the newspaper or a big banner in front of an apartment complex.
Get rid of all unneccesary expenses.
Do you smoke? Try to quit (if I can do it anyone can LOL)
Cable tv? Don't need it. get an antenna and watch PBS, they have wonderful programming. Same goes with internet. You can use the library's for free.
Home phone and cell phone? You only need one phone. I keep only a cell phone because it is amazingly cheaper than a land line around here.
Those are just 3 things that come to mind, there are tons more.
And I understand you're depressed and don't feel you have the strength for a part time job, but a part time job right now would not only give you something to do other than feeling like crap and worrying about $, but it would make you some $. And you may meet some cool new people to boot.
Hugs
You're renting, so find a cheaper place to live or a roomate. Look outside the box on this one. There is tons of affordable housing out there that isn't advertised in the newspaper or a big banner in front of an apartment complex.
Get rid of all unneccesary expenses.
Do you smoke? Try to quit (if I can do it anyone can LOL)
Cable tv? Don't need it. get an antenna and watch PBS, they have wonderful programming. Same goes with internet. You can use the library's for free.
Home phone and cell phone? You only need one phone. I keep only a cell phone because it is amazingly cheaper than a land line around here.
Those are just 3 things that come to mind, there are tons more.
And I understand you're depressed and don't feel you have the strength for a part time job, but a part time job right now would not only give you something to do other than feeling like crap and worrying about $, but it would make you some $. And you may meet some cool new people to boot.
Hugs
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