TOPIC: What Is The Best Thing To Do Or Best Place To Go To Avoid Lonilness? Hi Im Sharon and Im an alcoholic. By the Grace of my HP and people like you here in SR I havent had a drink of alcohol since 8-11-90. For that and you I am truely grateful. What is the best thing to do or the best place to go to avoid lonliness? Any clues? :) Today was my day off work so I headed to a noon birthday meeting not to far from where I live. Birthday meetings allow us to hear for ourselves how our program works. Whether someone picks up a year chip all the way to 20 something yr. chip... we hear exactly how they managed to stay sober for as long as they have one day at a time. It never fails how i hear something i need to hear at each meeting....just like today I heard loud and clear about something that I could do on a daily bases to avoid loneliness and stay sober. What is it? Help other alcoholics achieve soberiety or ny helping another alcoholic achieve sobriety by sharing my own experiences, strengths and hopes with them.... And what better place for me to be, is right here in SR or at an AA meeting. That way Im always with another alcoholic and thus never alone. How about you? Thanks for letting me share. |
I love the way you think, Sharon. Whenever I feel the slightest bit lonely I immediately think of going to a meeting, and once I'm there I let my higher power lead me into service. |
I come here, being that i am in deep depression..Truth is i long for love but i know that around in the world i tend to feel lonelier with people who don't care enough..So coming here is a good way..Sr makes me feel that i am not the only person who wishes people were more supportive in the real world.. |
Thanks Astro for sharing and ur kind words. :) It could be easy to sit here with self, feeling sorta lonely....I mean i have had a full early part of the day with a doctors checkup at 8am...then a trip to the store, return home and head to a noon meeting......and yet in a split moment, my selfishness allowed me to feel alone. Why is that i wonder....i do like myself....well most of the time..:) However it would be nice to have someone to hold me ...hmmmm....i can give myself a bear hug....but then its not the same....lol oh well....i tried.... :) Im grateful to be sober today, grateful for my health, grateful to have as many meetings i can go to whenever i want. I am able to witness more miracles of recovery, hold hands and give hugs with other members....find out about another new meeting i can go to later in the week....retire early and head to work tomorrow. So what's lacking....hmmmm.....a stronger more fullfilling intimate relationship with my HP. Whatcha think? |
Well..I go to my aunt's or my cousin's house. Where there is always lots of kids and lots of family to keep me busy. |
Thanks guys for sharing ur thoughts. Much appreciated. Family is good, esp. if u are close to one. There's nothing like the laughter and giggles of little ones....they so tug at our heart strings dont they? Children are so innocent at first before they are exposed to life and all that it offers to them.... Anyway...getting off track here.... :) Any Kenny Chesney fans out there..? No SHOES NO SHIRT NO PROBLEM....LOL BLUES WHAT BLUES I FORGOT'EM. I am content right now at the moment with Kenny on the tube....Yeeha..! :) Well back to the topic.... It never fails how much graditude i get when i can share with others in recovery. If i can say at least one thing that makes sense or makes a difference in anothers life, then thats cool. Several weeks ago when i picked up my 17 yr chip, i stood and shared to a room filled with new comers.... and oldtimers.... Last time i went to that meeting which was a few days ago...i was standing at the coffee pot,when someone asked me if i sponsor anyone....I told her i feel like a sponsor to all who listen to me...so theres no one person in particular I sponsor...but....And i told her i didnt speak much in meetings but i listen and sharde online and one on one. One lady nearby heard me and she commentd that when i do say something its profound and important....that made me feel good to hear that because i only shared my ESH that day i picked up my chip and cant remember all that i shared.... So what ever i did share must have sounded ok. WHEW..! Anyway....what and awesome feeling it is to be a part of a wonderful sucessful recovery program if u work it...one day at a time....thats it.... Make a difference in someones life....a difference in ur own life. Thanks for letting me share. |
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrgIBc2iJrA I listen to this sharon..lol cuz i'm a thousand miles from nowhere..lol http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HvC-zsocAc maybe i'll join a circus :lmao http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGZlhtiXETg |
For me, meetings are such a blessing and so I actually enjoy the time I can spend on my own! But if lonely, definitely hook up with a meeting and it always works. Not immediately sometimes I'm so caught up inside myself that I fail to see and notice all the beauty around me in and outside of a meeting. Also remembering to be grateful, gratitude list always helps. And baths! And sometimes just good old sleep! Cathy31 x |
just going through something wierd. It's not that I havn't gone through a break up or seperation from my GF before. maybe it's healthy for me..that's why it feels wierd...I don't know. Honestly, i don't feel lonely today...which is a bit odd, becuase when my gf was using, i felt lonely as hell living with her. I don't know..maybe i'm hurting so damn much that i don't feel anything. Or maybe I'm just too tired to cried..lol Or maybe god is holding me up becuase i don't really beliving in god at the moment. or maybe I've just totally lost my marbles..lol |
Satit...DWIGHT YOAKAM....BABY..! BABY ..! BABY..! lol LOVE IT..! Love him.... OH BABY..! lol Need I say more...?? You won my heart today....lol Satit..WHEW..! :) |
So the best thing to do besides make a meeting or talk with another in recovery is do exactly like Satit does....oh and me too....lol Go Listen To Music.... You would not believe how much music plays a big part of my recovery,,,, I could be in any kind of mood and when i listen to music....it completely takes me out of whatever funk im in and brightens my spirit.... It sets the mood for whatever state of mind im in at the moment.... I LOVE MUSIC....PERIOD.. Just last night i had Kenny Chesney on TV watching one of his concerts.....AWESOME.... I just CRANKED that sucker up and got down with him...lol So to speak....... |
oki doki ..that song starts @ 6:15 mark lousiana rain http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtFWQ3Mbpjg after the thrill is gone http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkDmz0vRm9E |
Ok satit...now that ive heard Dwights Yoakams music this morning, i will carry it with me all day long..... Now Im A THOUSAND MILES FROM NOWHERE'S...LOL ....you now have to come see me in Baton Rouge....lol |
Brits gotta go tho.... YUCK..! lol Im not that lonely yet...lol |
oki doki..a little bit of insomity..lol the night owl http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFLdHx2ZXUA take it easy on me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bm8DCQLiV44 |
As I look back on my shares this morning....hmmm.... looks like i was goofing off pretty good.... lol I guess its ok to have fun in recovery,,,,its ok to laugh and have a good time.....they would want us to, right? As we learn to stay sober each day by facing different situations that baffle us, we still can learn to have some humor. :) Did you know that it takes more muscles to frown.... so smiling isnt as hard as u think it is.... :) Anyway....back to lonilness....no one likes to feel lonely, right? I mean is...i know we need to learn to be by ourselves. Learn that its ok to be with oneself. To be comfortable in our own skins. Quiet time to reflect, to regroup our thoughts. And then there are times we isolate to much and think too much....That could be dangerous.... Once you recieve the tools of recovery then u can use them to help you get out of situations that baffle us....meaning ....if that stinkinging thinking pops up then u can head to a meeting or pick up the phone or go find another alcoholic or addict to help..... Right? Soooooo.... We never have to be alone or lonely in recovery. Right? |
ok satit...i heard abracadabra by Steve Miller Band....lol CRANK IT UP... :) |
Interesting question....in my case, being alone, and loneliness were not the same. I've been to group functions, (mostly before recovery), surrounded by people, and felt lonely as hell. In recovery I've gone thru periods of isolation; meaning, I go to meetings, and thats it. No other contact with meeting people. So I was alone. Sometimes I was fine with it, sometimes I felt lonely. The way I'm learning, to alleviate the loneliness, is by making a connection with somebody, somehow. Though the internet by itself does not do it for me. It helps while I'm online, but fades away as soon as the computer shuts down. Actually personal connections can be felt much longer, in my experience, can last the whole day. For some, myself included, it can be a very big wall to climb. |
It is true what Doug shared about the computer.... Even tho i enjoy coming here to SR to share and communicating thru shares and replies...cyber relationships suck big time..... :) meaning.... I cant see you nor touch nor hear you....unless i travel forever...in which i would be scared as hell to venture long distance on my own....and plus i have NO sense of direction what so ever...lol I cant touch u because u live forever away....and I cant hear u unless its long distance phone calling in which it cost money unless u want to use ur free minutes...lol So while it satifies u and me for the time we are online...it fades when the computer is turned off....right? Then Im left with me myself and I or you, urself and ...lol well....urself.... :) Unless....u surround urself with either recovery folks or family or pets... I go to meetings and sit amongst members then leave...i havent found it comfortable to hang very long around others....maybe because i think im boring or dont have much to say.... All the knowledge i know is about raising kids, homemaking, my job and recovery.... Oh and some sports....Golf...just cause i like watching it.... Oh i forgot...music....just because i like to listen to it.... Oh...and....well....shopping....and self and ....Well wouldnt u admitt what ur good at too? All physical behaviors... WHAT....lol i got off the topic...shoots.... Reel me back in.....lol So what do we do to alliviate loniliness besides sharing ur experiences strengths and hopes with others? |
My phones been ringing off the hook. Every single call is from a fellow AA. It's nice to think about someone but me ! But yeah, I was an isolationist when I joined up. THe fellowship is one of the MANY un-expected blessings... |
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:20 AM. |