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Old 09-04-2007, 06:39 PM   #1 (permalink)
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40 days sober

and so freaking emotional!!!

Today has been a crappy day for me. I am just feeling very emotional and blah. I went to a meeting tonight (a beginner's meeting and then part of a big book meeting) and was kind of put off by somebody who was just being nice and came up and spoke to me right before the big book meeting. I was just feeling "inside myself" and not wanting or knowing hot-to (at the moment) come out of my shell.

This person seemed to notice it for what it was and started asking me if I had commitments at the meeting and told me it would be a good way to meet other people.

Ugh...the agony of somebody else noticing my awkward lonesomeness in a crowd of about 50. I was near tears during most of the meeting and then left half way through. What is wrong with me??? I am never this emotional.
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Old 09-04-2007, 06:51 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Hi bjork,

I think you're experiencing the emotional ups and downs of early sobriety. For me, I had to get used to dealing with real life without using alcohol to numb things. So, it was kind of like learning to live life a new way.

Just be kind to yourself and don't measure your recovery by looking at other people. Just move forward at your pace. We're all on this road together.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

Marianne Williamson
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Old 09-04-2007, 07:27 PM   #3 (permalink)

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I agree with Anna. This is all a part of early recovery. I remember at day 40, I was am emotional wreck. I don't know what was going on me me but I seemed to react emotionally to all kinds of things that wouldn't normally stir my emotions. The good thing is that it passes. You just have to ride it out like a wave. There are ups and downs. But when you go through the downs, you'll come up again. Don't worry, this shall pass.
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Old 09-04-2007, 07:48 PM   #4 (permalink)

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I do understand.....when you've drunk to numb your feelings it seems once we're sober they all come flooding back at the most inconvenient of times!

I have been alternatively happy/sad and angry and I am anything but 'stable' right now.But I'm learning to ride it out.I'm also going to talk to a counsellor to get some handle on it all as I go through it.I'm hoping it helps.

I think this is a very normal part of sobriety.I'm really just wanting to say hang in there.You're not alone....

My best to you,

Jules xox
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Old 09-04-2007, 08:15 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Bjork, that is why I stopped going to meetings the last time I quit drinking. Every time I was asked to say anything I would literally choke up and gag - I wasn't ready to share such personal and deep emotions, so the experience of AA meetings was lost on me. I realize now I should have kept going and at least listened until I felt stronger. I just kept to myself, and for 3 yrs. I managed a very shaky sobriety, but it didn't take! Oddly, now I'm very eager to share how I'm feeling & the conclusions I've come to! Especially if it would ease anyone else's burden. It's so true that your emotions being all over the place is to be expected & at least YOU haven't stopped getting the help you need like I did. Be proud.
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Old 09-04-2007, 08:36 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Thanks for your replies. I am getting ready to go to bed and I know tomorrow will most likely not be so emotional for me. I hope LOL It is comforting to know that others have experienced this.

Hevyn, I honestly felt that maybe I should stay away from this meeting unil I felt a little better because it does seem that this meeting tends to bring LOTS of people talking to you. Most asking "Do you have a sponsor?" I do have a sponsor. I just feel like it's kind of a high pressure meeting for me at the moment. I know everybody has my best interest in mind. Lots of people stay after and hang out after the meeting. I'm just not ready for that yet. I guess I am still feeling a bit like a loner. Next Tuesday I might feel different. I guess I will see.

I will continue to go to smaller meetings for sure. I go to smaller ones daily.

Thank you for all of your replies. They really do help me!
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Old 09-05-2007, 09:04 AM   #7 (permalink)
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keep moving forward, bjork. 40 days is great! k
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Old 09-05-2007, 09:48 AM   #8 (permalink)
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First let me say great job with now 41 days!!!

Bjork in early sobriety my emotions were all over the place, I remember how it was and when speaking to a newcomer I try and make them feel welcome but with out any pressure. I remember being scared crapless one minute and then wanting to burt into tears the next, I have seen plenty of people leave thier first meeting or certain meetings early, it happens and is no big deal and well understood by the folks there, they have been where you are at, I was there!

Comfort will come in time with meetings, I have heard of folks that did not say a word in a meeting for a whole year, they actually probably got more out of thier early meetings then I did because I was a blabbermouth, I some how got it into my head after 3 months sober that I had important things to share when in reality I hardly knew anything at that point except "One Day at a Time."

As the old timers told me when I would get all wound up "Take it easy". I spent 40 years drinking and some how I wanted 10 years of sobriety over night!

If you are called on to share simply say something like "I am just listening today, thanks"
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Old 09-05-2007, 12:38 PM   #9 (permalink)

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40 days is a miracle - congratulations. I still tear up at meetings, and I cry quite easily. I understand that these emotions can be overwhelming, but if you can accept them, even if you don't like them, that may help. It's helped me.
There are some people who, in their earnestness to help, forget how overwhelming early sobriety can be. Try not to take it personally when someone asks if you have a sponsor.
It took me a long time to feel comfortable in meetings, and I still have a difficult time at the beginning - wading through the crowd of smokers out front - but even that is becoming easier. I would stay after the meeting with my sponsor or a close friend, and ask them to stay close. Only now do I feel okay enough to wander around and go up to people.
What you're feeling is perfectly normal.

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Old 09-05-2007, 12:46 PM   #10 (permalink)

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Congrats on your forty days!!

Forty days is huge considering how challenging early sobriety is....
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Old 09-05-2007, 12:50 PM   #11 (permalink)
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40 days is great!!
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Old 09-05-2007, 01:31 PM   #12 (permalink)
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40 days! Super!

Yes, the emotional rollercoaster is in town for you. Don't worry, it will pass.

I've about 6 weeks now and believe me, I understand.

Hang in there!

(Not inebriated (Amethystos) since:12/15/11)
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Old 09-05-2007, 08:33 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Thanks for all of the advice and well wishes!!! You guys are great!
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Old 09-05-2007, 09:01 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Hi bjork!

I am 65 days sober and feeling very similar to what you describe, definitely 'inside myself' and emotional. The last few days I felt like I was cracking up but it is improving now, I am going to get to more meetings even though I dont want to at all! I think I need more human contact.

Congrats on the 40 days!
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Old 09-11-2007, 01:00 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I just happened upon this thread...I hope those of you who spoke of it are getting over that "ill at ease - stick out like a sore thumb" feeling. I used to wonder how people knew I was a newcomer. But, it's like a magnet drawing those well-meaning sober people to you...and, they are so darned persistent!

I didn't feel comfortable going to anything but closed meetings for quite a while. But, there was a custom at the opening meetings that helped "break the ice" for me. At the end of the meeting, folks would line up to thank the speakers...just a simple, "Thank you" was all it took to make us both feel good.
He's coming to town... ...via the Polar Express!!!
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Old 09-12-2007, 01:05 AM   #16 (permalink)
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He can hear the song of home endlessly
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Old 09-12-2007, 04:38 AM   #17 (permalink)
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bjork, welcome to your feelings. They have been

numbed so long that you forgot what it was like,

or at least that is what it was like for me in the

beginning. It gets easier, and for me, as time goes

on, I really enjoy the emotions, exspecially the good

ones I was missing, hang in there, hope3/4
If I focus on the solutions, the problems won't seem impossible!
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Old 09-12-2007, 04:50 AM   #18 (permalink)
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bjork, welcome to first year sobriety!

and that emotional rollercoaster... dont buy the ticket!, and let anyone else give you one... lol

patience & persiverence is one of the keys...

all good wishes bjork...

xxoo, zip
Grateful I'm Ok Today
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Old 09-12-2007, 07:06 PM   #19 (permalink)
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All of my days after that day have been good. Uneventful emotionally for the most part. Thanks for all the advice. I feel better when I see that others felt the same. 48 days today!!!
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Old 09-13-2007, 04:15 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Yeah! 48! Your welcome......hope3/4
If I focus on the solutions, the problems won't seem impossible!
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