I wear myself out - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read

LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 09-04-2007, 12:12 PM   #1 (permalink)
Octoman's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: London
Posts: 345

I wear myself out

I feel like a bit of a rant I'm afraid so ignore me if you want but its true. I seem to be governed by endless compulsions. Alcoholism is an obvious example but as my sober time has built up I have for the first time in my life been able to take a step back and look at myself and I am beginning to realize I have had compulsive behaviour in one form or another all my life.

Obvious examples have been heavy smoking and massive coffee drinker. Quit both now. Less obvious until recently have been odd compulsions that suddenly grip me and control my life for months, even years at a time. For example I decided to do up my garden last year. Instead of just planting a few plants I decided to dig up my entire lawn, by hand with a spade and then seive all the soil of stones and plant a new lawn from scratch. I worked about 6 hours per day every weekend for 3 or four months to do it. Why???? My lawn was Okay!!!

Another example - in my last flat I decided to re-do our bathroom. For some reason I decided to repaint every tile by hand with acrylic paint. There are literally HUNDREDS of tiles. It took hours every evening for about five months to do. WHY?????

Driving a few months ago I spotted a rollercoaster from my car window. I couldnt wait to get home to research rollercoasters. i read everything I could about the thing for weeks on end, getting up in the night to check on facts, read books, even persuaded some friends we should go on a beer fueled roller coaster holiday in the US!!! Why??? I'm not interested in them now.

Skyscrapers?? I had an obsession that lasted for a few years of researching skyscraper buildings. I became a member of countless societies, online forums etc. London doesnt have any

The list goes on all my life. Karate, radio controlled car racing, mountain biking, marathon running, hill walking, astronomy, cooking, jogging, squash, golf, learning french / german/ spanish/ japanese / czech, weight training, painting, writing, rollerblading, kite boarding, surfing, swimming, diving, rowing, european history, american history. All of these things at some point have taken over my life and dominated for months and then disappeared in a flash.

I collect everything. It infuriates my wife. Something about collections really satisfied me. I have all over the house collections of : erasers, beer mats, travel books, stamps, coins, CD's, videos, DVD's, LP's, wine glasses, cider mugs.

My mind never gives up and sometimes I drive myself utterly insane. I have begun to realise that drinking has probably been away to give me a rest from myself.

Weird Huh?
Down but not out!
Octoman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-04-2007, 12:42 PM   #2 (permalink)
Anna's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 51,606

When I stopped drinking, I became aware of other problems in my life too. I am easy prey to obsessive thoughts and I have learned that when I am stressed, the obsessive thoughts run wild. I think a lot of addicts have obsessive-compulsive inclinations, because as I understand it, that's what addiction is.

You may find that as you move along in recovery these compulsions may lessen. You could also talk to your dr because I think there are medications that can help.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

Marianne Williamson
Anna is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-04-2007, 01:29 PM   #3 (permalink)

Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Here
Posts: 124
hi welcome to the club of alcoholism!! hahaha... for me that is how i explain that liquor is just the symptom of my disease!!! im so much the extremist, i dive head in just like you, want to know everything about whatever it is im interested and then do it to access!! sometimes it will take over my life like alcohol did!! i once became obsessed with knitting and bought so much yarn (i mean a ton, $100 worth) could i afford it at the time? nope! it even cut into my bill money!! talk about UNMANGEABLE....

i dont even knit anymore, did it for like two weeks on end!!!

hahhahaha NUTS!!!
laurenlanai25 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-04-2007, 02:37 PM   #4 (permalink)
Dee74's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 176,819
Blog Entries: 1
welcome to the OCD club Octoman LOL

way I figure it, if you can get to where all your obsessions and compulsions are positive, or at least harmless, you won't do any bad and you might just do some good

oh and I prefer the term...'endlessly interested...but easily bored'

Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-04-2007, 03:27 PM   #5 (permalink)
Coffee Drinker
GrouchoTheCat's Avatar

Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Lobstah Land
Posts: 1,122
Blog Entries: 1
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post

oh and I prefer the term...'endlessly interested...but easily bored'

I love it!

Yep, RC planes, golf club making, rollerblades, cloud watching, ham radio, various electronic projects, and on and on.

Life's never dull but you would not believe the amount of unfinished projects around here!

I even have an 8 foot boat that I started about 3 years ago!

Oh well, I do seem to be a bit better lately!

Yes, I think it's a common trait of alcoholics.

(Not inebriated (Amethystos) since:12/15/11)
GrouchoTheCat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-04-2007, 03:28 PM   #6 (permalink)
Old & Sober Member of AA
Jersey Nonny's Avatar

Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
Whew! I'm worn out just reading your post!

'endlessly interested...but easily bored'
I like that one!
He's coming to town... ...via the Polar Express!!!
Jersey Nonny is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-04-2007, 08:00 PM   #7 (permalink)
Raised from the Dead
chicago's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Chicago
Posts: 376
i know exactly what your talking about! since ive gotten sober ive been complusive about many things. random things, mind you. lately its been fitness. i am CRAZY about what i eat and consuming certain mass amounts of protein. i am also crazy about working out and lifting weights like a madman. ive been addicted to checking my email, ebay, buying things, girls, meetings, etc. yeah, im a lunatic pretty much lol. but atleast im not drinking!
"Its not impossible....so let go....because I aint afraid to try!" -Matt Pryor
chicago is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-04-2007, 08:18 PM   #8 (permalink)
GlassPrisoner's Avatar

Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
An obsessive alcoholic ? Where ?!?!?!

It's no problem until it becomes a problem. As long as you have balance in your life, a little obsession is OK by me.

You should try being a musician (Pianist), and practicing the same 3 or 4 measures ad infinitum until it's just perfect. And, It can't just be somethng simple. NOOOO, it's gotta be frigiing Beethoven & Bach & Mozart.......
Life Happens
GlassPrisoner is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2007, 01:50 AM   #9 (permalink)
Community Greeter
indigo's Avatar

Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Mid-Life Express
Posts: 9,930
Welcome to the boards, I'm sure you're going to love it here.
When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté
indigo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2007, 07:59 AM   #10 (permalink)
let it grow!
parentrecovers's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
octoman - keep collecting sober days...hugs, k
parentrecovers is offline   Reply With Quote

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:25 PM.