Guywithpie has 30 days !!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
pieguy... sugesstion.. read to wives, and the family afterwords in the Big Book... and if willing, let wife'y read it too...
good for you PG...
one big battle down... who knows how many more to come one day at'a...
progress...
good wishes PG...
xxoo, rz
good for you PG...
one big battle down... who knows how many more to come one day at'a...
progress...
good wishes PG...
xxoo, rz
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
your wife going to alanon or anything, gwp?
my daughter likes to try to blame her drinking relapses on me and my husband. we never buy it..........
hugs, and congrats on getting through that temptation.
stay humble, k
my daughter likes to try to blame her drinking relapses on me and my husband. we never buy it..........
hugs, and congrats on getting through that temptation.
stay humble, k
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,397
Hi Guy --
Wow -- that's great that you held off running to get the wine.
Confrontation = trigger for me, too. My dad criticized me for something stupid the other day, because sometimes he forgets that I'm an adult and not his "little girl" anymore. He's gotten a bit more grumpy in his old age, and sometimes I forget THAT!
Anyway -- he told me I had two speeds (slow and stop) and that I should get a move on while making a salad. Of course, I took it to heart (me being the little girl again) and thought immeditately of having the drink that I'd just moments before, declined. I basically snapped at him right there, and then felt guilty afterwards.
A stupid, little thing. But because all those old feelings of wanting to please him while growing up came to the service, I was ultrasensitive.
Keep communicating with your wife. I'm trying to do that, myself, with my other half. I figure the more I get on with the whole sobriety thing, the more our relationship will grow. We are probably a bit more on edge lately, and I find myself prefacing some conversations with "I know I'm kind of irritable, lately, but this is hard for me..." and that clears the air a bit... He's never been one to say he's sorry to ME, but one of these days when I've been sober for a while and am feeling strong enough, I'll try to have that conversation with him.
I enjoy reading your posts, Guy. Thanks for sharing, and congrats again for hanging in there!
Wow -- that's great that you held off running to get the wine.
Confrontation = trigger for me, too. My dad criticized me for something stupid the other day, because sometimes he forgets that I'm an adult and not his "little girl" anymore. He's gotten a bit more grumpy in his old age, and sometimes I forget THAT!
Anyway -- he told me I had two speeds (slow and stop) and that I should get a move on while making a salad. Of course, I took it to heart (me being the little girl again) and thought immeditately of having the drink that I'd just moments before, declined. I basically snapped at him right there, and then felt guilty afterwards.
A stupid, little thing. But because all those old feelings of wanting to please him while growing up came to the service, I was ultrasensitive.
Keep communicating with your wife. I'm trying to do that, myself, with my other half. I figure the more I get on with the whole sobriety thing, the more our relationship will grow. We are probably a bit more on edge lately, and I find myself prefacing some conversations with "I know I'm kind of irritable, lately, but this is hard for me..." and that clears the air a bit... He's never been one to say he's sorry to ME, but one of these days when I've been sober for a while and am feeling strong enough, I'll try to have that conversation with him.
I enjoy reading your posts, Guy. Thanks for sharing, and congrats again for hanging in there!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,299
Good for you on not giving in.My main trigger is anger-and it always seems like such a good excuse at the time-LOL.But it isn't.Learned that one the hard way!
As others have said-do talk with your wife about it.It does take some humility to admit how powerless we are over it-but I'm sure you'll find your wife is supportive if you let her in.
Julesxox
As others have said-do talk with your wife about it.It does take some humility to admit how powerless we are over it-but I'm sure you'll find your wife is supportive if you let her in.
Julesxox
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Ladera Ranch, CA
Posts: 184
Thank you everyone for all of you suggestions. All good and wonderful. I am going to hit the rack, but tomorrow when i am feeling a little more awake, I will post an interesting story..
Love you guys and gals..
Love you guys and gals..
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Ladera Ranch, CA
Posts: 184
The story had to do with a little spat with my better half. As all couples have disagreements and arguements, this is the first we have had since I have been sober. As the discussion started heating up my wife started to say, your just drunk... then stopped. It was an interesting moment. My wife couldn't use that as an excuse for why we were fighting and I couldn't use that as an excuse as to why I was being an ass.
It was weird.. in a good way..
Anyway.. resolved the discussion as usual and went on..
I just haven't experienced anything like that for a while.
It was weird.. in a good way..
Anyway.. resolved the discussion as usual and went on..
I just haven't experienced anything like that for a while.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,299
I know things have changed since you posted this-but I wanted to comment.
I think one of the scariest things I had to face was when I couldn't blame my anger on the fact I'd been drinking-and my husband couldn't either.
Holy crap-I have to face myself and my demons?
Yep.
I've been seing a counsellor recently and it's really brought home to me that so much of the 'lack'(emotionally) I've assumed in my life has nothing to do with my husband or anyone else around me.I'm very loved.I'm surrounded by people who love me.It's my inability to let them in that has caused me so much pain......
I'm very lucky really.It's a process to look at the ;whys' of it all-why I keep love out.....however-it's good too-and seems to be working in my life here-slowly-but surely.
I know you'll be okay too.
Julesxox
I think one of the scariest things I had to face was when I couldn't blame my anger on the fact I'd been drinking-and my husband couldn't either.
Holy crap-I have to face myself and my demons?
Yep.
I've been seing a counsellor recently and it's really brought home to me that so much of the 'lack'(emotionally) I've assumed in my life has nothing to do with my husband or anyone else around me.I'm very loved.I'm surrounded by people who love me.It's my inability to let them in that has caused me so much pain......
I'm very lucky really.It's a process to look at the ;whys' of it all-why I keep love out.....however-it's good too-and seems to be working in my life here-slowly-but surely.
I know you'll be okay too.
Julesxox
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