Ya Know?
 

Im really having a hard time understanding why God put me here on this Earth. Its been a tough life. I honestly dont want to be here anymore. I dont want to committ suicide. I dont want to live though. All living has been for me is hurting. Life really is beautiful i believe. Or supposed to be. But I cant find really find any beauty in it. I think i have sealed my fate. I try to convince myself that i havent lost hope. But the truth is, is that i am hopeless. I dont think i will honestly ever have a good life. Nothing makes me happy. I have no dreams i have no ambition to really succeed anymore. I just dont care. I just want some peace and rest without so many worries that plague my everydays. I dont honestly see that in my future. I just dont really get the point of my life. It seems to me to be sad and tragic. Oh well, It is what it is.:e070:

Yes, life for me "is what it is".

Embracing the 12 Steps and a recovery program has helped me to understand that God has a plan for me, I have a purpose in life assuming I seek his will on a daily basis.

No one is hopeless. I witness the miracles of recovery every day at AA meetings.

It really has been a tough life, but I'm grateful for every step I've taken that led me up to this point. Sobriety is a beautiful journey, and while I tend to be hard on myself and beat myself up, the Promises are coming true, life is better than I ever dreamed it could be.

It takes awhile to "get what the point is", but if you're willing to do the work you'll definitely get it. Don't quit before the miracle happens, OK?

Hi On Fire,

I used to feel exactly like you did and I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. Other people seemed to be happy, but it always eluded me. It turned out I needed to be on medication for depression. I have a chemical imbalance that needed to be straightened out. Maybe you should talk to your dr.

Also, please know that living a sober life brings many rewards and so much joy. I personally, believe that we are here on earth, living this life, in order to learn what we need to learn.

I've felt that way, many times. Didn't want to live, and didn't want to die. Just didn't want to be. Getting sober and staying that way has been the hardest thing to do, but I can't believe how much my outlook on life has changed. I also need medication for depression and that's helped alot too.
Don't give up.

I think i need anti depressants. Everything seems to get harder and harder everyday. Just getting up is such a task anymore. Its really sad and pathetic. I feel lethargic. I have no energy to live and work or really do anything. Somehow i make it through the day though. Not always sober. But on days like today when i completely went out of my mind last night. Alcoholism is cruel. I didnt hurt anybody or myself. I just wander what will happen to me if it gets so bad that i cant fuction and live a normal life.

I wouldn't recommend taking anti d's if you are still drinking - that definitely won't help. What do you have as a basis for recovery? Do you go to AA or participate in any other recovery program?

No I havent been, i have only myself to blame. I just make myself sick sometimes. I cant even look at myself. People have no idea how i feel, on the outside looking in everyone thinks im fine. But im on a major relapse. I had quite a few months of sobriety this year. But quitting this time is hard and im digging myself in a hole again.

I am on the same place right now...but i am sober....anti depressants and alcohol mixed can cause unwanted death, if the anti-depressants have more than the regular chemicals.....any substance mixed with alcohol is dangerous..

is your hopelessness because of the alcohol abuse or related to some deeper issues..? if it's because of alcohol abuse, look around and see how many people here have found a light..if it's even deeper, then maybe you should see somebody..I am giving you the advice i should take..I am sure your life is worth....I have no doubt about it..

Do you want to stop? Digging that hole, I mean?

I have an idea how you feel - because I've been there, and not so long ago.

Yes i do want to stop. But i dont know what its gonna take for me to get to that point of actually stopping. Im really angry with myself.

Anger is natural, but it's not helpful. Lets try to look at a solution instead, what do you say?

What are you willing to do? Go to AA? Addiction counselling? Treatment? I would go to your doctor first, and ask for help. I mean, get honest about your drinking, and say you want some help. You don't have to live like this.

:c022:

Starting Wednesday i am going out of state on work. Im going to be living on the road the next 2 or 3 months. Its a good opportunity but im really worried. Last night i spent alot of the money i needed to support myself during the trip. I just feel like such a loser.

There are AA meetings available everywhere. I hope you reach that point of wanting to reach out for help.

I hope you reach that point, too. Of wanting the help, and asking for it.

On~Fire...

I really think this is excellent advice. If you want to get out of the sh*t...take a few steps. I've been there too. :)

D

Theres a lot more i can do to stay sober. I havent been giving it everything i have. I pray to God to help me.

Yes, prayer is good, but make sure you're doing your part too, by taking action.

Wow. Funny (strange, not ha! Ha! funny)
I just finished writing a post re: feeling hopeless, outlook on life possible changing with continued sobriety and the need for antidepressants.

Thanks, Rowan.

And hang in there, OnFire. Lots of great advice and love here.

Liz

Hey, Onfire... Feeling the same way about quitting this time. I'm glad you're here on the forum, too, and hope you keep working to get to a good point again. So many here have done it, and some of the stuff I've read has really helped (me, at least) put things into perspective. I figure if they can do it, then perhaps with some persistance, so can I.

Thanks for posting, because writing now to you is actually HELPING me. I've been looking inward so much, focusing on me, me, me for the last few days...

Hugs,

Liz

Ill be praying for the both of us Liz. I know it can be done. I just hope i have the strength through God to get sober and stay sober. This has been long coming i deserve a better life than what ive been giving myself. I dont want to take anything from anyone anymore. Thats not meaning material things. I mean i want to feel God in my life and let go of all the worries i struggle with daily. When i come into a room i want people to be happy im there. To appreciate what i bring to the table and respect me for who i am. Well maybe not for who i am, because right now i dont even respect me. But for the person i want to become.