gypsytears

Give yourself a chance lawergolfpro. Hang in there until your appointment. Keep posting, try to rest. Does your wife know what you're doing? Enlist her help to keep you occupied.

Jhana

Hi Rusty and Lawyer,

Rusty, I knew your name rang a bell but till now (I just got on this site again) I didn't remember why. Miracle died from ODing on Oxy? Till about a year ago when I didn't know ANYTHING about these drugs, I thankfully didn't know of their side effects either: happy, happy! But my Dr. has prescribed a variety of such things for the increasing pains in my hands (2 operations on the right for nerve damage caused by a dislocated elbow, and 1-carpal tunnel on the left caused by too mush use of that hand to compensate). And the surprising side effect was all this feeling that everything is just fine in the world!

I am now dealing with other ways to cope with the pain (physical therapy, massage, because the side effects of these drugs is far to seductive, addictive, and ultimately, (as you too well know, Rusty) destructive.

Lawyer, hang in there. I don't know anything about suboxy? but get off that other junk. Maybe its great for when you really need it (like in the hospital) but something else is going on here with so many people using it on a daily basis.

Jhana

Jhana

By the way, LawyerGolfPro, please hang in here with updates. You are so forthright and eloquent, I think you have no idea how many people you will help with these posts...I am certainly one of them,

Jhana

lawyergolfpro

hey everyone, i made it to the appointment and home!! it was so hard, but i made it through the 24 hours, my wife, who has been amazing support, had to put up with me for the 1 hour plus ride to the place...boy that sure sucked!! but i have hung in there and am doing good for now. thanks everyone so much and i will definitely continue to post. thanks so much.

simplysober

Congrats Lawyer!!!!! u made it thru- keep taking baby steps
Ive been sober for 4 days now, and Im taking it a minute at a time. are you going to go to a meeting? I still havent gone to one
keep posting
hugs
maria

Jhana

Well Bravo!! How hard yesterday must have been. I am beginning to think that if alcohol is a killer, these drugs are so much worse!! Apparently they are very easy to obtain, and if one is addictive at all, more and more is required.

Glad you are here,
Jhana

indigo

It's good to see you and I wish you all the bast in getting clean, we are always here to support each other an-one judges. Welcome!

Jhana

I was PM'd this about the untimely death of Trish (Miracle) and I thought it was so forceful about why not to get involved with these drugs...

(I have Rusty Zipper's permission to post this)

Originally Posted by Rusty Zipper
"Hi Jhana...

I saw your reply...

didn't know you knew of Trish...

here's the deal... she was just coming up on two years clean.. now she broke a few ribs... from laughing, yep... we used to roar with laughter...

she also had pneumonia... her bones were brittle, from years of abusing her body...

she was also on some head meds, and anti imflams for arthritis...

the doc gave her some percs for the ribs, she gave them to me to hold....

oh, she was also in pain management for the joint issues... chronic pain...

well Jhana, that first perc woke up the beast... a few days later, she was demanding the percs back...

she turned to doc shopping, doing oxy's, smoke'n crack, suck'n on fentynol patches, booze'n, and in six months she was gone... it broke my heart to watch all of this... jhana, we were to get married...!

I came real close to drinking again... didn't tho, I have a great sponsor, friends, and a real strong program...

the bottom line... she never told the pain management doc, nor any doc she was in recovery...strange as it is, her sister Nan is in pain management for chronic back probs... she has nuts and bolts in her... she takes her meds as directed, and shows it can be done...

Nan is now my roommate, and love of my life... she came onto SR when I did to post about Trish's death...
Nan's site name is trishsis...

i'm telling you this so as to see the damage that can occur...

be honest as can be.. with yourself, others close to you... and of course... the docs...

love ya, and see ya around the site!

patrick, aka...pattee"



Thanks Patrick,
Jhana

lawyergolfpro

thanks simplysober and jhana. people like you help keep me going. i too am trying to go one step at a time, but i also want so bad to get back to my normal life, feeling normal. problem is, feeling "normal" for me involved 160 mg of oxy and i apparently dont know what normal is anymore. i am doing great with w/d symptoms, not really any at all, but i have had some pretty intense cravings that seemed to have coincided with the time of day that i normally would use. i hope that is just a mental thing, but boy, it is tough.

i am supposed to do some sort of counseling. my doc agreed that i probably couldnt go to the local aa/na b/c my town is so small and i will definitely see some of my clients there. my town is so small, less than 5,000 people and only 19 lawyers, and the conservative, old school type "addiction is a moral problem" kind of people that i dont think i could chance it. people would definitely run their mouths if they saw me there, so my doc said to go to psychiatrist. i guess i will do that, but havent really thought about it yet.

4 days in, congrats!! does things pretty much continue to stay the same? some guy who was at the dr's office said he was real sleepy first two days and people said he acted drunk, but then he was just normal after that. what has your experience been? man, these cravings are tough.

thanks for your support and i hope we can hang in there.

lawyergolfpro

i also forgot to mention that, while i was at clinic, (which is over an hour drive from my house) a guy came in and we were talking. he mentioned a town close to mine and i told him where i was from. i just about fell down when he said "yeah, i know you, you are my lawyer from Point Pleasant" i was like WHAT THE ______?" he told me his name and i remembered, he was a client who was being involuntarily hospitalized b/c doc found he was addicted and likely to cause harm to himself or others. i remember doing some drugs right before i left the house to go represent him. those types are not done in courtroom setting and are done through mental hygiene process. anyway, he reminded me of how the hearing went and i did remember him. kind of crazy that someone who i represented b/c of drugs is/was now a patient with the same addiction doctor. just lets me know where i will end up if i dont beat this now. he said he had been through everything, and it all was a joke except for the suboxon and he had been on it for couple of weeks. said he has had no relapses since taking it. stuff must work b/c he was in bad shape. of course my wife was like "who you talking to" and i told here the story about representing the guy. she tells me "jeez, we cant even go out of the county to a freaking addiction doc without seeing someone you know or someone you represent." that is how small of an area i live in, but it also has its advantages. word of mouth is everything for a lawyer in my town and right now, the word of mouth is "good" about me, so it is important that i continue to recover and stay straight without everyone finding out. of course, i have kept the addiction from being discovered so this should be a piece of cake, hopefully.

Jhana

lawyer...I think you would be shocked at how people would receive you at a meeting where you were representing them, but also dealing with the same problem.

I have never forgotten so many years ago when in small town America, the High School Principle showed up at AA. There were at least 5 of his students there, and the honesty of all was a transcendent thing to see.

We have one life here, and all too unfortunately we seldom talk about what is really going on to those who understand...

For what it is worth, Jhana

Jhana

I posted before I saw the last. We all have something (that we wish to hide)...

Sometimes I think the only way to "health" is to admit we are all human..

Jhana