First time here and dont have a clue how to quit
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 1
First time here and dont have a clue how to quit
I've been drinking for so long now.
I'm 37 and I bet you since I turned 30 I have had a "few beer" about 5 out of every 7 days a week, sometimes 7 of 7 depending on the week.
I put on the face over and over and over again and suffer through horrible nerves getting up for work every day, seedy and "not right", but so far I have pulled it off, how, I'll never know.
But slowly and surely it's getting to a point where I am unstoppable. When I wake up in the morning I say to myself, "tonight, I'm grabbing the iPod and going for a walk" and as the day progresses I slowly look forward to blowing my money at the liquor store on the way home.
I dont even consider talking on the phone with loved ones unless I have "a few in me", those rare sober times I want to be left alone in a heap on the couch recovering, just getting ready for the next one I guess.
I TRULY am only happy when I drink.
I see people sometimes out working on their gardens, doing yardwork, playing soccer, baseball, etc.and all I can think is "how do you people do all these things and not go home and crack open a bottle of wine? How can what you people are doing POSSIBLY be fun or make you happy?"
HOW do you guys get past this, or is it just me. I am falling apart in every way. Happiness without booze to me is not possible. help.
I'm 37 and I bet you since I turned 30 I have had a "few beer" about 5 out of every 7 days a week, sometimes 7 of 7 depending on the week.
I put on the face over and over and over again and suffer through horrible nerves getting up for work every day, seedy and "not right", but so far I have pulled it off, how, I'll never know.
But slowly and surely it's getting to a point where I am unstoppable. When I wake up in the morning I say to myself, "tonight, I'm grabbing the iPod and going for a walk" and as the day progresses I slowly look forward to blowing my money at the liquor store on the way home.
I dont even consider talking on the phone with loved ones unless I have "a few in me", those rare sober times I want to be left alone in a heap on the couch recovering, just getting ready for the next one I guess.
I TRULY am only happy when I drink.
I see people sometimes out working on their gardens, doing yardwork, playing soccer, baseball, etc.and all I can think is "how do you people do all these things and not go home and crack open a bottle of wine? How can what you people are doing POSSIBLY be fun or make you happy?"
HOW do you guys get past this, or is it just me. I am falling apart in every way. Happiness without booze to me is not possible. help.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Welcome to SR
Having been there and done that but now sober, I feel I can ask this question...
If you are only happy when drinking, why do you look and see all the things that others do and wonder how or why they do it? A longing to do some of the same maybe? The drinking gets in the way of doing them?
It has been a few years since I was at the stage you are at 5 nights turning into 7.
Have you been up 24 hours and closed the bars only to get home in time to change and head to work?
Been there, done that as well.
I have found that being sober I enjoy so much more of life then I ever did while drunk. Only way to know that is to give it a try for a bit of time.
If you are wanting answers and solutions... AA meetings are a great place to find the answers, solutions and support. You don't need deal with this alone.
Having been there and done that but now sober, I feel I can ask this question...
If you are only happy when drinking, why do you look and see all the things that others do and wonder how or why they do it? A longing to do some of the same maybe? The drinking gets in the way of doing them?
It has been a few years since I was at the stage you are at 5 nights turning into 7.
Have you been up 24 hours and closed the bars only to get home in time to change and head to work?
Been there, done that as well.
I have found that being sober I enjoy so much more of life then I ever did while drunk. Only way to know that is to give it a try for a bit of time.
If you are wanting answers and solutions... AA meetings are a great place to find the answers, solutions and support. You don't need deal with this alone.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi and Welcome!
I suggest you read the 2 top post here
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/
both have lots of information.
Things to consider ....
1. How productive are you at work?
2. Have others commented on your drinking?
3. Unchecked ...the disease of alcoholism kills ...no exceptions.
There is a lot more laughter in AA than tears.
Take care...you too can find a healthier future.
I suggest you read the 2 top post here
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/
both have lots of information.
Things to consider ....
1. How productive are you at work?
2. Have others commented on your drinking?
3. Unchecked ...the disease of alcoholism kills ...no exceptions.
There is a lot more laughter in AA than tears.Take care...you too can find a healthier future.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Ladera Ranch, CA
Posts: 184
Hey best.. welcome to the board. Everyone here has great recommendations and advice. I was in a VERY similar situation you were in.. I'm going on one month sober and had some interesting turns week to week. I had similar thoughts and drinking habits.. If it helps, check out my post that I started when I was in your same boat. Kind of an interesting read from day to day. Let me know if I can help at all.. You can do it.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-board.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-board.html
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,622
Hi there Jinjo and welcome to SR.
I know exactly what you mean and I completely related to how we see others doing things and living lives we can only fantasize about. It is amazing to watch "earthlings" going about their daily activities free of the need to drink.
I found that when I needed to stop, I couldn't do it alone. I came to SR and joined AA and now I can live life without being controlled by alcohol. I don't like being controlled.
I know exactly what you mean and I completely related to how we see others doing things and living lives we can only fantasize about. It is amazing to watch "earthlings" going about their daily activities free of the need to drink.
I found that when I needed to stop, I couldn't do it alone. I came to SR and joined AA and now I can live life without being controlled by alcohol. I don't like being controlled.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Jinjo
welcome. I remember feeling like you do...it looks hopeless. But it's not. Iwon't lie - it's tough but it can be done.
Other people do things without alcohol because that's how it's meant to be.
There no answers in the bottle...it just wants more and more. If you wait, you'll find like I did that eventually not even drinking makes you happy anymore.
Break the cycle. Lots of good people to help here
D
welcome. I remember feeling like you do...it looks hopeless. But it's not. Iwon't lie - it's tough but it can be done.
Other people do things without alcohol because that's how it's meant to be.
There no answers in the bottle...it just wants more and more. If you wait, you'll find like I did that eventually not even drinking makes you happy anymore.
Break the cycle. Lots of good people to help here
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
jinjo. welcome to SR, and the land of potential happiness!!!
jinjo its the booze say'n that...
i also felt the same way towards my end...
was at a beach, saw a young couple with a little baby, then all the years of drinking and drug'n caught up with me...
i started to cry... i lost out on so much of life... why couldnt i do what others can do without the D & D...
it was one of the first of many wakeup calls...
jinjo, being here with your first post is yours... run with it!
xxoo, blessings and recovery...
rz
jinjo
I TRULY am only happy when I drink.
i also felt the same way towards my end...
was at a beach, saw a young couple with a little baby, then all the years of drinking and drug'n caught up with me...
i started to cry... i lost out on so much of life... why couldnt i do what others can do without the D & D...
it was one of the first of many wakeup calls...
jinjo, being here with your first post is yours... run with it!
xxoo, blessings and recovery...
rz
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: pa
Posts: 9
Jin,
I easily could've written your post. I don't know HOW to stop. I always think ..tomorrow. What if I run out of them. I'm 38 and have drank since 16. I Just want you to know you're not alone.
((Hugs)) Lauren
I easily could've written your post. I don't know HOW to stop. I always think ..tomorrow. What if I run out of them. I'm 38 and have drank since 16. I Just want you to know you're not alone.
((Hugs)) Lauren
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hicktown, PA
Posts: 1,479
Hi Jin, I am starting day 16 sober and I know what you mean...esp. about your loved ones. I found it almost impossible to talk to my mother (even though I love her) unless I had a drink or two. (at least) I won't lie - these last 15 days have not been completely easy, but they have not been hell on earth either. I have been a little short tempered and edgy at times, but, hey, people are just going to live with it until I relearn how to cope with my emotions as a sober person.
I don't think I can tell you how to quit. Maybe no one can. All I can tell you is what I did. Briefly, we were going on our first family vacation two weeks ago and the night before we left when I was drinking, I thought, I don't want to be hung over on our trip, I want to be able to play with my kids, I want to be awake and sober to see the sunsets and the sunrises on the beach. That's when I finally gave up believing that I was only happy when I was drunk. (and I had believed that for quite a long time). Just like you seem to do, I longed for a "normal" life that didn't revolve around drinking. It was profound enough a moment that I just stopped. Luckily, I was not drinking enough to need medical help to detox, although I did feel physically crummy for the first few days, I was so mentally relieved that I felt better inside then I ever had while drinking.
I have not worked up the courage for AA yet (social anxiety holding me back) but I think it sounds great and all the good people here will support you.I hope you find your "moment" to stop very soon.
Hugs, Jomey
Thanks for your post! I could have written it easily 15 days ago...and for years before that!
I don't think I can tell you how to quit. Maybe no one can. All I can tell you is what I did. Briefly, we were going on our first family vacation two weeks ago and the night before we left when I was drinking, I thought, I don't want to be hung over on our trip, I want to be able to play with my kids, I want to be awake and sober to see the sunsets and the sunrises on the beach. That's when I finally gave up believing that I was only happy when I was drunk. (and I had believed that for quite a long time). Just like you seem to do, I longed for a "normal" life that didn't revolve around drinking. It was profound enough a moment that I just stopped. Luckily, I was not drinking enough to need medical help to detox, although I did feel physically crummy for the first few days, I was so mentally relieved that I felt better inside then I ever had while drinking.
I have not worked up the courage for AA yet (social anxiety holding me back) but I think it sounds great and all the good people here will support you.I hope you find your "moment" to stop very soon.
Hugs, Jomey
Thanks for your post! I could have written it easily 15 days ago...and for years before that!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Elcome to SR Jinjo, you sound similar to me 15 years before I quit. I eventually reached the point of not wanting to drink...... but having to drink, drinking was no longer a choice, you see I am an alcoholic.
I found a solution to my drinking problem, my personal problems, my boredom and my lonliness all in one place. I found the solution in rooms full of other alcoholics who were happy, joyous, and free of the bonds of alcohol. The freely gave to me what was freely given to me.
The only thing I had to do was be willing to go to any length to get and stay sober, after a 40 year drinking career alcohol had kicked my butt hard enough to where I was more then willing to go to any length to get and stay sober!
Do you still have power over alcohol?
I am an alcoholic, I don't
Is your life becoming unmanageable?
When I was drinking it was for me.
Do you feel a degree of insanity when it comes to alcohol?
I did.
I found a solution to my drinking problem, my personal problems, my boredom and my lonliness all in one place. I found the solution in rooms full of other alcoholics who were happy, joyous, and free of the bonds of alcohol. The freely gave to me what was freely given to me.
The only thing I had to do was be willing to go to any length to get and stay sober, after a 40 year drinking career alcohol had kicked my butt hard enough to where I was more then willing to go to any length to get and stay sober!
Do you still have power over alcohol?
I am an alcoholic, I don't
Is your life becoming unmanageable?
When I was drinking it was for me.
Do you feel a degree of insanity when it comes to alcohol?
I did.
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Welcome to SR JinJo! Glad that you found us....
We all walk down different roads of recovery with different challenges but the greatest gift about finding SR is that we are all here for each other the best we can be as we travel down our own road taking us to a brighter road day by day!
Keep posting we are glad you found us!! You are not alone!
We all walk down different roads of recovery with different challenges but the greatest gift about finding SR is that we are all here for each other the best we can be as we travel down our own road taking us to a brighter road day by day!
Keep posting we are glad you found us!! You are not alone!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 66
I see people sometimes out working on their gardens, doing yardwork, playing soccer, baseball, etc.and all I can think is "how do you people do all these things and not go home and crack open a bottle of wine? How can what you people are doing POSSIBLY be fun or make you happy?"
Yardwork on a hot day + cold beer = dehydration
Sports + booze = poor performance
Unfortunately, I still haven't found an answer to the following:
Good Dinner + glass of good wine = better dinner
Also
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