Big Book Questions
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Big Book Questions
Hi everyone - Holy Smokes! I just looked up the Big Book on the internet! WOW! I am...speechless! Would someone be able to explain to me how the Big Book works in conjunction with meetings or if you work with it privately? or with a sponsor? It seems like you have to be filled with courage - absolutely FEARLESS - to go through with it- moral inventory and the like...I want to do it, I need to do it...but it seems imposing and scary!!! I know it will relieve my anxiety about AA if I hear from some of you good people who have used this process...The more I know, the less I am afraid...thanks in advance for your help.
Hugs, Jomey
Hugs, Jomey
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Hi Jomey,
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous is our basic text. The book is divided into sections, and is in it's 4th edition of printing.
Different meetings will do a BB study, you can read it on your own, or you can go through it with a sponsor. There are BB study guides and also CD's to assist someone reading it and working through the steps.
I like reading Chapter 5 How It Works, and also There is a Solution. At the back of the book are many personal stories written by various AA members over the years.
I recommend reading the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions, it breaks down each step into more manageable pieces.
I hope this helps. I suggest starting at the beginning, and reading a couple of pages a day. It's a lot to take in.
Rowan
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous is our basic text. The book is divided into sections, and is in it's 4th edition of printing.
Different meetings will do a BB study, you can read it on your own, or you can go through it with a sponsor. There are BB study guides and also CD's to assist someone reading it and working through the steps.
I like reading Chapter 5 How It Works, and also There is a Solution. At the back of the book are many personal stories written by various AA members over the years.
I recommend reading the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions, it breaks down each step into more manageable pieces.
I hope this helps. I suggest starting at the beginning, and reading a couple of pages a day. It's a lot to take in.
Rowan
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Big book meetings are probably the best place to start if you like the basic text. The steps were written over a decade later after the fellowship had had time to mature. I think the two texts compliment one another nicely. (I look at them as recovery-oriented old and new testaments).
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Hi Mike - thanks for the post...sometimes my "thanks" button works and sometimes not...guess its just a glitch...anyway,sorry to be so ignorant, but I know nothing of AA - I am sober for 15 days today, and I was really too anxious to consider AA until I found this site and everyone here has given me such welcome and assured me that AA is welcoming also that I really feel like I want to try it.
Anyway, could you elaborate on what are the "two texts" that compliment each other or maybe if you could point me to a thread that has already explained this?
I got an awesome link from another poster about what to expect at your first AA meeting - it was very reassuring. I feel like the more I can find out in advance, the less anxious I am.
Thanks for you help! Jomey
Anyway, could you elaborate on what are the "two texts" that compliment each other or maybe if you could point me to a thread that has already explained this?
I got an awesome link from another poster about what to expect at your first AA meeting - it was very reassuring. I feel like the more I can find out in advance, the less anxious I am.
Thanks for you help! Jomey
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HI W2Boys - thanks for your response, also. Did you read the book before you went to meetings? Do you discuss the book at the meetings you attend? I am so sorry to be asking all these questions, it makes me feel a little feeble, but right now you guys are the only people I have to ask and lean on, and I really appreciate it. I know my anxiety makes me child-like at times (asking all these "worry questions"). I hope that doesn't make me a pest...Thanks again for your time and input! Jomey
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Hi Jomey, I was that 'other poster' lol!
I am very new to AA but I think Mike is referring to the 12 and 12 as it is known, its called 'the 12 steps and traditions' I think?
I believe its Bill Wilsons (co-founder of AA) views on the steps.
The core book of AA is whats known as the big book and that has the steps in it too but with less waffle! (LOL)
Dont worry about studying the books at this stage, you wont be tested!
Basically there are meetings and there are the steps, some people just go to meetings and dont even do the steps or read the book.
People tend to share about whatever they want at the meetings, there will be references to the steps but not as many as I would have expected.
I am very new to AA but I think Mike is referring to the 12 and 12 as it is known, its called 'the 12 steps and traditions' I think?
I believe its Bill Wilsons (co-founder of AA) views on the steps.
The core book of AA is whats known as the big book and that has the steps in it too but with less waffle! (LOL)
Dont worry about studying the books at this stage, you wont be tested!
Basically there are meetings and there are the steps, some people just go to meetings and dont even do the steps or read the book.
People tend to share about whatever they want at the meetings, there will be references to the steps but not as many as I would have expected.
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Hi Stone - thank you for both posts! I wish I would have taken the time to read back over the old thread instead of refering to you as the "other poster" - sounds kind of ominious, doesn't it? 
Like "the other woman" or something! Being sober seems to be bringing back my sense of humor, offbeat as it may be!
Your post was very clear and helpful...I am going to look for the number to call now to find a meeting around here. I am going to find out if there is a meeting I can go to tomorrow while the kids are at school....wish me luck...
And thanks a million! J
Like "the other woman" or something! Being sober seems to be bringing back my sense of humor, offbeat as it may be!Your post was very clear and helpful...I am going to look for the number to call now to find a meeting around here. I am going to find out if there is a meeting I can go to tomorrow while the kids are at school....wish me luck...
And thanks a million! J
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Hi Jomey and welcome. You've gotten some great information so far. I sensed in your original post that you may have skimmed through the book or at least the steps and feel somewhat intimidated by what all is involved in working them. Since others have talked about the Big Book and the 12 and 12 I would like to address the steps. The steps scared me to death when I first read them. All I can tell you is keep an open mind and don't let them throw you. There is no timeline to work them, they are done with a sponsor as you are ready. They are listed in a certain order and they should be worked in that order.
The only things you need right now are honesty, openmindedness and willingness (otherwise known as HOW) Don't let the steps scare you off. My suggestion is to go to some meetings and just listen. As others share about their experiences look for the ways you can relate to them. Don't worry about what they look like, if they have a record, if they are covered in tattoos, if they are dripping with diamonds. Look past the outward appearance and listen to their message. If you feel comfortable, when they ask is anyone there for their first, second or third meeting raise your hand. If people offer you their phone numbers or a phone list take it and use it. I agree to get there a little early and stay behind a little bit after the meeting. Oftentimes that is when you really get to know the people.
If after going to some meetings you feel comfortable and think that you want to try the AA program then the next step is a sponsor. Start listening to people of your same sex when they share. Ideally you would want to find someone who when they speak you can relate to them, someone who has worked the steps and continues to work the steps and someone who has something (in sobriety) that you'd like to have for yourself. If you are a praying person then pray and ask for help in finding the right person. Then ask that person if they would sponsor you. After that, get busy.
I hope this helps. The AA program and the AA people are nothing to be afraid of although I didn't believe it at first LOL! In fact, the AA program literally saved my life as I almost drank myself to death and could not quit on my own.
Take care,
Kellye
The only things you need right now are honesty, openmindedness and willingness (otherwise known as HOW) Don't let the steps scare you off. My suggestion is to go to some meetings and just listen. As others share about their experiences look for the ways you can relate to them. Don't worry about what they look like, if they have a record, if they are covered in tattoos, if they are dripping with diamonds. Look past the outward appearance and listen to their message. If you feel comfortable, when they ask is anyone there for their first, second or third meeting raise your hand. If people offer you their phone numbers or a phone list take it and use it. I agree to get there a little early and stay behind a little bit after the meeting. Oftentimes that is when you really get to know the people.
If after going to some meetings you feel comfortable and think that you want to try the AA program then the next step is a sponsor. Start listening to people of your same sex when they share. Ideally you would want to find someone who when they speak you can relate to them, someone who has worked the steps and continues to work the steps and someone who has something (in sobriety) that you'd like to have for yourself. If you are a praying person then pray and ask for help in finding the right person. Then ask that person if they would sponsor you. After that, get busy.
I hope this helps. The AA program and the AA people are nothing to be afraid of although I didn't believe it at first LOL! In fact, the AA program literally saved my life as I almost drank myself to death and could not quit on my own.
Take care,
Kellye
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Hi Kellye - thanks for your reply. all this information is making things a lot more clear for me about how AA works. And, boy, were you correct when you said that I am intimitated by AA!! I have social anxiety working against me (although I have vowed that it will not STOP me - it's just another obstacle to clear on the way of recovery!) and I have a track record of dishonesty with myself about my drinking.
I am a good listener - partly because I am usually too nervous to talk- LOL- but I am really looking forward to trying an AA meeting. Thanks again for all the info. I'll keep you posted!
Jomey
I am a good listener - partly because I am usually too nervous to talk- LOL- but I am really looking forward to trying an AA meeting. Thanks again for all the info. I'll keep you posted!
Jomey
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Jomey you have received some great advice, I would suggest that you ask someone fairly early to be your "Temporary" sponsor, for now this would just be someone to explain different things you hear in meetings and the basic program of AA.
One very important rule you need to know about AA......... There are no rules in AA!
The program of AA is actually a very simple program for very complex people.
I would highly reccommend that you read the very first sentence in Chapter 5 "How it works" it says:
I will say this though, if I had not followed the path laid out in the BB thoroughly I doubt very seriously I would be sober today.
Everything in AA and the Big Book is suggestions along with everything that a sponsor may say.
As someone already said being Honest, Open minded, & willing are the keys to working the steps and the keys to long term happy sobriety is the Steps.
Every thing in AA is based upon ODAAT (One Day At A Time). Today is the only thing we have any control over as a result we learn to live in the day, not the past, we do not worry about the future, once again the only thing we can do about the future is what we do today.
Please when you go to a meeting do not be afraid to ask any question no matter how stupid you may think it is, the answer may very well be something that will keep you sober that one day when you are really tested.
When people give you thier phone number in AA they want you to call!
They want you to call to not only answer any questions you have or just to talk, but you calling them helps them stay sober as much as it helps keep you sober.
A big reason to call is because the more people you are comfortable calling in your network just to chit chat or ask questions the more comfortable you will feel calling them when you want a drink REALLY bad!!! A phone call is what saved me from drinking again after being sober for 2 months.
It is so comforting calling some one who knows exactly how it feels to want a drink so bad it hurts.
When reading the BB keep in mind it is not a novel, it is the basic text of AA, everything that is needed to get and stay sober the AA way is in it, everything one finds in the 12 X 12 and all other AA aproved literature can be backed up with what is in the BB.
One thing we all work on is keeping it simple, there is nothing hard about AA as long as one stays Honest, Open minded, & willing. Some steps at first glance may appear scary, self examination is not easy, but the rewards of it all is becoming happy, joyous and free, yes even free of fighting alcohol with time.
One very important rule you need to know about AA......... There are no rules in AA!
The program of AA is actually a very simple program for very complex people.
I would highly reccommend that you read the very first sentence in Chapter 5 "How it works" it says:
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.
Everything in AA and the Big Book is suggestions along with everything that a sponsor may say.
As someone already said being Honest, Open minded, & willing are the keys to working the steps and the keys to long term happy sobriety is the Steps.
Every thing in AA is based upon ODAAT (One Day At A Time). Today is the only thing we have any control over as a result we learn to live in the day, not the past, we do not worry about the future, once again the only thing we can do about the future is what we do today.
Please when you go to a meeting do not be afraid to ask any question no matter how stupid you may think it is, the answer may very well be something that will keep you sober that one day when you are really tested.
When people give you thier phone number in AA they want you to call!
They want you to call to not only answer any questions you have or just to talk, but you calling them helps them stay sober as much as it helps keep you sober.
A big reason to call is because the more people you are comfortable calling in your network just to chit chat or ask questions the more comfortable you will feel calling them when you want a drink REALLY bad!!! A phone call is what saved me from drinking again after being sober for 2 months.
It is so comforting calling some one who knows exactly how it feels to want a drink so bad it hurts.
When reading the BB keep in mind it is not a novel, it is the basic text of AA, everything that is needed to get and stay sober the AA way is in it, everything one finds in the 12 X 12 and all other AA aproved literature can be backed up with what is in the BB.
One thing we all work on is keeping it simple, there is nothing hard about AA as long as one stays Honest, Open minded, & willing. Some steps at first glance may appear scary, self examination is not easy, but the rewards of it all is becoming happy, joyous and free, yes even free of fighting alcohol with time.
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Hey Taz - Thanks for the awesome post! I am going to see if I can print it out and read over it a lot through out the day. I can feel the joy and freedom you are talking about coming through loud and clear!! Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am getting little tastes of that, especially as I am starting to sleep better, and I feel like the kid in the candy store...the more sober living I taste, the more I want!
However, I know myself well enough to know how depleted I can become with anxiety, so I am trying to pace myself. I am meeting with my pastor shortly to talk with him about my anxiety and councelling for that. I am going to tell him about the drinking. And that is very scary to me. That might be enough for one day. I feel like I am making excuses to put off AA for another day, but (oh, wait, what is that saying...everything after "but" is BS?!) So, let me rephrase, I am going to choose to wait one more day for an AA meeting so I do not trigger a craving by overextending myself in the infancy of my recovery.
Gosh,,it really is like learning to live all over again...even how I speak and write and think, esp. about myself.
I am in awe of 18 Sept. 2006, Taz. That seems like a "lifetime" of sobriety to me now, and I am grateful for your sharing. Jomey
However, I know myself well enough to know how depleted I can become with anxiety, so I am trying to pace myself. I am meeting with my pastor shortly to talk with him about my anxiety and councelling for that. I am going to tell him about the drinking. And that is very scary to me. That might be enough for one day. I feel like I am making excuses to put off AA for another day, but (oh, wait, what is that saying...everything after "but" is BS?!) So, let me rephrase, I am going to choose to wait one more day for an AA meeting so I do not trigger a craving by overextending myself in the infancy of my recovery.
Gosh,,it really is like learning to live all over again...even how I speak and write and think, esp. about myself.
I am in awe of 18 Sept. 2006, Taz. That seems like a "lifetime" of sobriety to me now, and I am grateful for your sharing. Jomey
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Jomey,
As someone has already mentioned, the big book and 12 & 12 book are the two complimentary texts. There are meetings that focus specifically on each text. You may even want to try a tradition meeting (the 12 & 12 means 12 steps and 12 traditions). Traditions are much less popular than BB and step meetings but they are a good way to find out how the fellowship survives in spite of its members.
As someone has already mentioned, the big book and 12 & 12 book are the two complimentary texts. There are meetings that focus specifically on each text. You may even want to try a tradition meeting (the 12 & 12 means 12 steps and 12 traditions). Traditions are much less popular than BB and step meetings but they are a good way to find out how the fellowship survives in spite of its members.
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Jomey I found that in order to stay sober I had to change, the program of AA is what allowed me to change.
Before AA I was a drunk! I was a drunk if I was drinking & was still a drunk even when I was not drinking, the only difference was I was an irritable SOB when I was not drinking. Why? Because I had not changed myself as a person, the only thing I had done was quit drinking.
The steps of AA have allowed me to go from being a drunk to a much better person then I was when I was a drunk. I changed! Changing has allowed me to stay sober because I am no longer a drunk.
Before AA I was a drunk! I was a drunk if I was drinking & was still a drunk even when I was not drinking, the only difference was I was an irritable SOB when I was not drinking. Why? Because I had not changed myself as a person, the only thing I had done was quit drinking.
The steps of AA have allowed me to go from being a drunk to a much better person then I was when I was a drunk. I changed! Changing has allowed me to stay sober because I am no longer a drunk.
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HI Mike - thanks for the further input - there is so much to learn and soak up here!
Hey Taz- thanks for another great post. You are dead-on with the change thing...I feel like i am starting down the path of changing EVERYTHING in my life...I feel right now like everything - from where I go, to what I think, what I say, what I feel EVERYTHING - is changing. Just had a great meeting with my pastor. He helped alot and I feel a ton of relief...I am just amazed by how much work there is to do on myself and recovery, and I am trying to remember that I can't do it all in one day, either. (perfectionism problem is another thing I self medicated for!) Never really realized how sick I was just because I was able to keep up with day to day living. I'm blown away by each new hour of every day.
I am going out to go horseback riding now...I haven't done that for two years...so many reasons...too tired, not feeling well, feeling guilty and not giving myself permission to enjoy anything because of my low self esteem...All because of drinking...like I said...I'm just blown away by all these revelations.
Thanks for listening
Thanks again to you both. Jomey
Hey Taz- thanks for another great post. You are dead-on with the change thing...I feel like i am starting down the path of changing EVERYTHING in my life...I feel right now like everything - from where I go, to what I think, what I say, what I feel EVERYTHING - is changing. Just had a great meeting with my pastor. He helped alot and I feel a ton of relief...I am just amazed by how much work there is to do on myself and recovery, and I am trying to remember that I can't do it all in one day, either. (perfectionism problem is another thing I self medicated for!) Never really realized how sick I was just because I was able to keep up with day to day living. I'm blown away by each new hour of every day.
I am going out to go horseback riding now...I haven't done that for two years...so many reasons...too tired, not feeling well, feeling guilty and not giving myself permission to enjoy anything because of my low self esteem...All because of drinking...like I said...I'm just blown away by all these revelations.
Thanks for listening
Thanks again to you both. Jomey
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Originally Posted by Jomey 
I am going out to go horseback riding now...I haven't done that for two years...so many reasons...too tired, not feeling well, feeling guilty and not giving myself permission to enjoy anything because of my low self esteem...All because of drinking...like I said...I'm just blown away by all these revelations.
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Thanks Mike! I am still pretty quick to tears - here they come again because I love your phrase "gifts of sobriety"...it's been so long since I feel like I actually earned/deserved the gifts that (IMO) God and life have given me. Accepting a beautiful afternoon and the horseback ride as a gift for making the effort to be sober is SO COOL on some many levels! Thanks...Jomey
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Hi Jomey, just wanted to welcome you to SR and congratulate you on deciding to go to AA. I just went back myself last month. I still struggle but i know staying sober is the easier, softer, way.
Barb
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Thanks for the welcome Barb. I like your phrase also - "the easier, softer way"...I could use some ease and softness in my life...I have been flailing away at my problems for so long, because you know, they were never on account of my drinking!(eyes rolling here!) Now that I realize that every problem I have had while drinking, if not directly caused by alcohol, certainly was never helped by it, now I feel like I would like to approach life more honestly and more gently.
Thanks for yet another inspiring idea to asorb! Hope you life is filling up with ease and softness again.
hugs, Jomey
Thanks for yet another inspiring idea to asorb! Hope you life is filling up with ease and softness again.
hugs, Jomey
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Looks like tomorrow night is going to be AA night for me...I wish I could go during the day, but my kids are home again until after Labor Day. I am not ready to talk to anyone in my family, besides my husband, or friendship circle yet about my decision, and I feel like it would be more sneakiness and dishonesty and somehow demean the whole effort to say I am going somewhere else to whomever I would leave my kids with. So I will have to wait until my husband gets home from work - he has been wonderful helping me. Unfortunately, waiting all day gives my nerves time to get jacked up, but if I can stop drinking (which not so long ago seemed like the impossible dream), I sure as heck can get through an AA meeting (sweaty, nervous, and trembling as I may be !) Honestly, I am (almost) as excited as I am anxious already!
Thank you all for everything! Jomey
!) Honestly, I am (almost) as excited as I am anxious already!Thank you all for everything! Jomey
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