Big Book Questions
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
Jomey -
How refreshing to read your posts - not often does someone come in to these forums ready and willing ... with their hope in tact. Sounds (or feel, I dunno) like your husband truly *is* offering you support.
What a blessing that is for you.
I know your original post was about the Big Book, and I've gotta tell you - it was months before I was well enough to retain what I read in there.
I'm excited for you going to your first meeting. It's the hardest one. All the rest .. are easy. The only meeting we're ever late for ... is the first one.
Welcome!
How refreshing to read your posts - not often does someone come in to these forums ready and willing ... with their hope in tact. Sounds (or feel, I dunno) like your husband truly *is* offering you support.
What a blessing that is for you.
I know your original post was about the Big Book, and I've gotta tell you - it was months before I was well enough to retain what I read in there.
I'm excited for you going to your first meeting. It's the hardest one. All the rest .. are easy. The only meeting we're ever late for ... is the first one.
Welcome!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hicktown, PA
Posts: 1,479
Hey Barb - CONGRATULATIONS ON ONE YEAR!!!!!!!!!! I wish I was computer literate enough to make that a fancier message, but I'm not...so at least it's heartfelt! 
Thank you for the kind words. When i was drinking, I found it impossible to accept a compliment or praise of any kind. I would always feel like a phoney or like "if they only knew...". So I would like to say, as a sober person today, "Thank you, Barb, for the nice things you said to me." I would also like to thank you for bringing an important moment to me. I am going to put in my journal that I accepted nice words being said to me for the first time with humble, honest gratitude.
I hear what you are saying about retaining the info. in the big book too. Holy Smokes! I am still being blown away by the simple stuff. I never drove when I was drinking, so the whole world shut down for me at 5 pm when "cocktail hour(s)" started at my house. I was literally blown away by going out to do a simple errand at 6:30 pm last night. Literally - like holy you-know-what!!!! I am living in the land of the sober!!!! It was so humbling...like going to live in a very faraway country, where the culture is very different and you don't speak the language. I feel like I have to learn how to do everything all over again, in a new (and better) way. While I am still in "I can't believe it" mode over going to Walmart for a birthday card, I doubt any of the profound truths in the big book will be able to be absorbed! But I am still going to try, even if as Rowan suggested, it's just a page a day. I'll probably have to read each page a million times, but that's ok.
Thanks to everyone for all the listening and sharing. I would not be going to AA if not for the people who have helped me on this site. I am starting Day 17 today. If I can come this far in 17 days..it gives me a lot of gratitude to you all and alot of hope for the future.
Thanks!!!!! Jomey
Thank you for the kind words. When i was drinking, I found it impossible to accept a compliment or praise of any kind. I would always feel like a phoney or like "if they only knew...". So I would like to say, as a sober person today, "Thank you, Barb, for the nice things you said to me." I would also like to thank you for bringing an important moment to me. I am going to put in my journal that I accepted nice words being said to me for the first time with humble, honest gratitude.
I hear what you are saying about retaining the info. in the big book too. Holy Smokes! I am still being blown away by the simple stuff. I never drove when I was drinking, so the whole world shut down for me at 5 pm when "cocktail hour(s)" started at my house. I was literally blown away by going out to do a simple errand at 6:30 pm last night. Literally - like holy you-know-what!!!! I am living in the land of the sober!!!! It was so humbling...like going to live in a very faraway country, where the culture is very different and you don't speak the language. I feel like I have to learn how to do everything all over again, in a new (and better) way. While I am still in "I can't believe it" mode over going to Walmart for a birthday card, I doubt any of the profound truths in the big book will be able to be absorbed!
But I am still going to try, even if as Rowan suggested, it's just a page a day. I'll probably have to read each page a million times, but that's ok.Thanks to everyone for all the listening and sharing. I would not be going to AA if not for the people who have helped me on this site. I am starting Day 17 today. If I can come this far in 17 days..it gives me a lot of gratitude to you all and alot of hope for the future.
Thanks!!!!! Jomey
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Jomey your willingness reminds me of my own, Jim Barleycorn had kicked my patoot so bad that I was more then willing to follow directions. Your obvious honesty is one of the keys to sobriety in my book, as a matter of fact in chapter 5 of the BB it spells that out:
I can tell you right now that you may get some suggestions that do not make a lot of sense at first, but with time you will figure out why it was suggested.
One of the first suggestions my sponsor gave me was to call him and 2 other AAs everyday, even if it was just to say "Hi, how you doing." Well I was willing even though it really did not make sense how calling other AAs would help me.
Well I had a little over 2 months sober when my biggest trigger to drink hit me fast and hard!!!! If I had had a beer in front of me I would have drank it, for an instant I was enraged and said out loud F it, "I am getting a beer!" I told myself "Man you are going to throw away 2 months" but I still wanted to stop and get a beer! Well I started saying the Serenity Prayer and then picked up the phone and tried to call my sponsor, he was at work!!! I called another guy who answered and spoke to him for about 4-5 minutes....... the anger was gone and the need for a beer was as well.
What I had thought was a stupid suggestion of calling people had saved my butt!!! Before I quit I hated using the phone, especially calling some one for any type of help. That stupid suggestion got me into the habit of calling people for no reason and made it easy to pick up that phone and call some one I knew for help!
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average.
There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
One of the first suggestions my sponsor gave me was to call him and 2 other AAs everyday, even if it was just to say "Hi, how you doing." Well I was willing even though it really did not make sense how calling other AAs would help me.
Well I had a little over 2 months sober when my biggest trigger to drink hit me fast and hard!!!! If I had had a beer in front of me I would have drank it, for an instant I was enraged and said out loud F it, "I am getting a beer!" I told myself "Man you are going to throw away 2 months" but I still wanted to stop and get a beer! Well I started saying the Serenity Prayer and then picked up the phone and tried to call my sponsor, he was at work!!! I called another guy who answered and spoke to him for about 4-5 minutes....... the anger was gone and the need for a beer was as well.
What I had thought was a stupid suggestion of calling people had saved my butt!!! Before I quit I hated using the phone, especially calling some one for any type of help. That stupid suggestion got me into the habit of calling people for no reason and made it easy to pick up that phone and call some one I knew for help!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Jomey I was just reading in the BB and the last Paragraphs of the last chapter sum up the first 164 pages of the BB to perfectin IMHO:
Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us.
Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.
Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hicktown, PA
Posts: 1,479
OK, Taz, you can stop reading my mind any time you're ready!!!! I have been thinking about going to AA tonight, and even though I like to think of my sober-self as a friendly person, when it comes to picking up the phone to chit-chat with strangers or asking for help....without your post, I would have been thinking, you've got to be kidding me! Thanks for that specific bit of advice, as well as reminding me that its not up to me to analyze suggestions, comments, advice, etc. I will, as you say, Follow directions! I am ready for this meeting! (Still a little shake in the voice as I say that out loud as I type, but not too bad!)
Interesting thing I would like to share...I guess it's kind of obvious, but it wasn't to me...when I was talking with my pastor yesterday, I kept going back to the anxiety. Finally, in gentle exasperation, he said, "Kiddo, how could you NOT be anxious? Besides the physical effects alcohol has on your nervous system and the rest of your body, you've been feeling ashamed, guilty, hiding things from everyone, including yourself, you've been afraid that you are killing yourself and you don't know how to stop! You've even been denying yourself the gift of Reconciliation with God by not bringing this stuff out in Confession. How else would you be but anxious?"
Like I said, probably obvious, but it was amazing to me that I may not have some form of anxiety that might affect a non-alcoholic. I thought I was going to have to fight two battles - anxiety and alcohol. It never occured to me that the anxiety might lessen naturally with stopping drinking. Yes, I may still have to cope with anxiety, but I am hopeful that it will lessen, and I think that will bring even more goodness into my recovery. (and ability to do something other than sweat at AA meetings! )
Thanks again! Jomey
I have been thinking about going to AA tonight, and even though I like to think of my sober-self as a friendly person, when it comes to picking up the phone to chit-chat with strangers or asking for help....without your post, I would have been thinking, you've got to be kidding me! Thanks for that specific bit of advice, as well as reminding me that its not up to me to analyze suggestions, comments, advice, etc. I will, as you say, Follow directions! I am ready for this meeting! (Still a little shake in the voice as I say that out loud as I type, but not too bad!) Interesting thing I would like to share...I guess it's kind of obvious, but it wasn't to me...when I was talking with my pastor yesterday, I kept going back to the anxiety. Finally, in gentle exasperation, he said, "Kiddo, how could you NOT be anxious? Besides the physical effects alcohol has on your nervous system and the rest of your body, you've been feeling ashamed, guilty, hiding things from everyone, including yourself, you've been afraid that you are killing yourself and you don't know how to stop! You've even been denying yourself the gift of Reconciliation with God by not bringing this stuff out in Confession. How else would you be but anxious?"
Like I said, probably obvious, but it was amazing to me that I may not have some form of anxiety that might affect a non-alcoholic. I thought I was going to have to fight two battles - anxiety and alcohol. It never occured to me that the anxiety might lessen naturally with stopping drinking. Yes, I may still have to cope with anxiety, but I am hopeful that it will lessen, and I think that will bring even more goodness into my recovery. (and ability to do something other than sweat at AA meetings!
)Thanks again! Jomey
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hicktown, PA
Posts: 1,479
Hey Taz - Also wanted to say thanks for sharing your story about making that phone call at 2 months. Although I can not say I am on a "pink cloud" physically (not enough sleep yet, a little too much anxiety still), I have been "pink clouding" the fact that i have not had any serious cravings yet. I realized that cravings will be in my future, but reading your post really helped me to KNOW that. And know that I need to be prepared, because I sure as anything aint goin back!
Hugs, Jomey
Hugs, Jomey
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Jomey show up a little early for the meeting, one really good person to chat with early is the "Coffee Maker", they are usually fairly new in recovery and almost always have a sponsor (With time you will find out how I know that LOL). Being new to sobriety they will have far fresher memories of really early sobriety and will be able to share with you what has helped them.
When listening to people share try and focus on what you have in common with them rather then on the differences. All alcoholics share common things we can all relate to, I do not care if they are male or female, rich or poor, black or white, religous or athiest.
Ask questions after the meeting about anything you did not understand or have a question about.
Keep in mind, there are no rules in AA, if you do not want to say a word don't, but if you want to find out how amazing it is to have a room full of people reach there hand out to you in sincere interest for your well being pick up yourself a Serenity/24 hour chip.
When listening to people share try and focus on what you have in common with them rather then on the differences. All alcoholics share common things we can all relate to, I do not care if they are male or female, rich or poor, black or white, religous or athiest.
Ask questions after the meeting about anything you did not understand or have a question about.
Keep in mind, there are no rules in AA, if you do not want to say a word don't, but if you want to find out how amazing it is to have a room full of people reach there hand out to you in sincere interest for your well being pick up yourself a Serenity/24 hour chip.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Highlands, TX
Posts: 1,192
Jomey, a 24 hour chip is also known as a desire chip. It is an outward sign of an inward commitment to do something about your drinking, preferably stop, for 24 hours. It is the first step. Afterwards, depending on the group you get chips for 30, 60 and 90 days sober and then some groups (like mine) has a chip per month while others have a chip for 6, 9, 12 and 18 months.
I just got my 3 year chip at our birthday meeting last night but I still have my desire chip along with all the monthly ones. They mean the world to me.
They like to joke with the newcomer on the desire chip, to put it under your tongue and if it melts then you can drink.
I'm loving hearing your experiences and I can't wait for you to actually hit a meeting. Once you do I think you will probably find each one a bit easier. My mom took me to my first meeting as moral support but mainly because I was so sick from withdrawals I wasn't capable of driving myself. I was so thankful to have her there. Is there anyone who might be willing to go with you? If not, don't worry about it. Like the Nike commercial, JUST DO IT even if you have to do it afraid!
Hang in there!
Kellye
I just got my 3 year chip at our birthday meeting last night but I still have my desire chip along with all the monthly ones. They mean the world to me.
They like to joke with the newcomer on the desire chip, to put it under your tongue and if it melts then you can drink.
I'm loving hearing your experiences and I can't wait for you to actually hit a meeting. Once you do I think you will probably find each one a bit easier. My mom took me to my first meeting as moral support but mainly because I was so sick from withdrawals I wasn't capable of driving myself. I was so thankful to have her there. Is there anyone who might be willing to go with you? If not, don't worry about it. Like the Nike commercial, JUST DO IT even if you have to do it afraid!
Hang in there!
Kellye
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
hey jomey - you get to that meeting yet?
yeah = the coins ... (lots of groups call 'em chips) it's like getting prizes ... LOL avtually - theyre unbelievaby special once you get one. or a few.
yeah = the coins ... (lots of groups call 'em chips) it's like getting prizes ... LOL avtually - theyre unbelievaby special once you get one. or a few.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
jomey, nice meeting you...
another thing the BB mentions...
action... not intentions!
dont drink, go to meets, clean house, and trust in a power greater then oneself...
all good wishes jomey...
now, get yor ass to a meet'n! lol
wad'a ya got to loose?
xxoo, rz
another thing the BB mentions...
action... not intentions!
dont drink, go to meets, clean house, and trust in a power greater then oneself...
all good wishes jomey...
now, get yor ass to a meet'n! lol
wad'a ya got to loose?
xxoo, rz
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hicktown, PA
Posts: 1,479
Hi all - Yes, I got to the meeting - I stated another thread called "I did it" last week, just got home from camping for the weekend...laundry up to my eyeballs, a very nasty-dirty pickup truck to wash in the driveway...lots to keep me busy through the rest of day twenty! Check out the thread, guys...it's a couple of pages back by now I guess since I haven't been here in a couple days...lots to catch up on, check in with you guys later. Lots of questions that came up over the weekend also...but will have to get to those later.
I just gotta add this because the "action...not intentions" line got me revved up in a positive way...I have taken LOTS of action!! I quit drinking C/T 20 days ago after years of abuse, I have done it on my own, I have continued to care for my family, I have beaten down the anxiety devil, I have continued countless hours of volunteer work and hit my "meetings" with Christ every single day at Mass,I talked to my pastor and set up councelling and I did finally get the courage to beat down that anxiety devil one more time and make it to an AA meeting. I will continue to go. I want my sobriety and I am working my ass for it!
Thanks for the support guys! Jomey
Check out the thread, guys...it's a couple of pages back by now I guess since I haven't been here in a couple days...lots to catch up on, check in with you guys later. Lots of questions that came up over the weekend also...but will have to get to those later.I just gotta add this because the "action...not intentions" line got me revved up in a positive way...I have taken LOTS of action!! I quit drinking C/T 20 days ago after years of abuse, I have done it on my own, I have continued to care for my family, I have beaten down the anxiety devil, I have continued countless hours of volunteer work and hit my "meetings" with Christ every single day at Mass,I talked to my pastor and set up councelling and I did finally get the courage to beat down that anxiety devil one more time and make it to an AA meeting. I will continue to go. I want my sobriety and I am working my ass for it!
Thanks for the support guys! Jomey
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
Actaully, the BB and AA makes it easier.
Since someone else wrote the book and I can actaully relate to it.
well..I don't feel so alone for being crazy.lol
And there's instructions in there too.
The insanity of being an alki. Well, you know...I feel fear
about something I already know.
Some people call it ...fooling myself or lying to myself.
Some people call it...denial
AA just happens to give away chips with "to thy ownself be true"
Since someone else wrote the book and I can actaully relate to it.
well..I don't feel so alone for being crazy.lol
And there's instructions in there too.
The insanity of being an alki. Well, you know...I feel fear
about something I already know.
Some people call it ...fooling myself or lying to myself.
Some people call it...denial
AA just happens to give away chips with "to thy ownself be true"
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