utopianscramble

Hey Everyone-

I'm new to this site but I'm hoping it will give me some good advice.

After an entire summer of living with my father and saving my money I can finally move on my own (something I've desired for many years). I attended a local college and lived with my family for the past 4 years. Thing is, I think I would have moved away from my family much sooner if I hadn't been drinking so long. But I have some reservations about my move (even though I do intend on leaving in 3 weeks).

1) What exactly constitutes a 'geographic cure'?
2) Taking time away from an alcoholic family is a good thing in most cases, correct?
3) How do I avoid judging my sister and brother when they continue to harm themselves with booze?
4) Is a first time long distance move dangerous to my sobriety? If so, how can I avoid the common pitfalls associated with something like this?

Thanks for any suggestions
Amanda

Octoman

Hi Utopian

I think you have found a great place here for the advice you need. I would say that just by being here you have made a great step.

You'll get lots of good advice from people with similar experiences to you. Good luck and keep posting

Oct

barb dwyer

Hi Amanda - welcome to SR !

A 'geographic' is a toungue in cheek way of putting running away from one's problems. And it's kinda stupid, cuz with an alcoholic - the problem isn't anything OUTSIDE of them. Us. It's all right there .. when we get there.

I can't tell you about your family stuff, I don't know about question #2, and question #3 could come with time?

The last question, though - you can start now by finding a good AA and/or alano club in the area you're going to be moving to. And make it a priority to get to a meeting there as soon as you get there.
You might be able to call the alano club there, if there is one, and find out about the hours, meeting schedules, stuff like that before you even leave.

Preaparedness is a *good* thing.

Aren't you excited, though?
Are you going to be continuing school, or starting a job?

CarolD

Hi and Good For You!

I'll try 2 & 3...Barb did a fine job on 1 & 4


Staying in a toxic situation is unhealthy for me.
That includes family.

My AA Step work helps me immensley
in dealing with life's problems.
And that includes family.

Welcome to SR!

Methodman

Hi Utopian. I'm about 4 1/2 months sober and also about to make a big move so I know your concern about the reasons why. I've thought long and hard about why I'm moving and did some deep soul searching to make sure it wasn't just a "running away" scenario. What I found is that in sobriety and with help of medication I have regained and surpassed my previous levels of confidence and self-esteem. It's providing me the opportunity to look beyond my current situation and start to look forward to goals and ambitions i've put aside for my drinking. I'm not running from something only pushing forward to realize my goals. It feels really good. I do live everyday with the realization that today I have control of my sobriety. I can't see into the future and know if I will drink or not again. I only have today and that's good enough for me. One thing I refuse to do right now is to let this addiction/disease get in the way of my dreams. I'm going for it. That's my feeling. I know I have to be on gaurd with my sobriety but I'm not going to sit around and wait...I'm going forward...not running....
D

Missymae737

Hi Utopian,

Congrats on your four months sober...

Movng is stressfull. Reach out to your support system...

Best wishes on your new home...

*amelia*

I echo the above questions, are you going to school or starting a job? Either way I wish you the best of luck. I can't really give you any decent answers to your questions as I'm newly sober and struggling to figure stuff out myself. But I really do wish you all the best and congratulations on 4 months sober!
Amelia x

utopianscramble

Thanks everyone...particularly Methodman becuase your words hit right on. My goals are pretty simple at this point and I believe this move is a step towards acieving them. All I want right now is independence. I also want to hike and rock climb. By moving I believe I can achieve both things.

It's a fine line though, isn't it? Guess when you're haunted by this addiction you must be constantly on gaurd for actions motivated soley by that addiction. I've heard the term "professional drunk" and that's something I vehemently wish to avoid. I don't want to excuse my various vices/mistakes/flaws solely because I don't drink anymore.

I finised my undergrad but I'm planning to eventually pursue further education. Right now I just plan on waiting tables. Thing is: I do love school and I'd like to be in a classroom right now BUT in my head I've reasoned that I need 1 full year of sobriety before I'm capable of really understanding what my "career" path should be. Parts of me know this is sorta wrongful thinking:
A) because I'm not taking life (mentally) day by day
AND
B) Because I'm basing my moves on my addiction (sort of).

But maybe I really DO need this self-allotted time to get stronger before I can fulfill my obligations to both myself and society.

BUT YES!! I'm very excited. Very, very excited.

Little side note: today I was bummed because my iPod appeared to be busted and I couldn't find the charger cable. I thought to myself, "Damn, it's a good life when your iPod is the biggest problem at any particular moment"
I'm so freakin' greatful for that.

Thanks for everyone's input.
Amanda