trying to "understand" me why I slip up...
 

no not today Ive being sober nearly five nights now but I think a part of me has a rebelious naughty side?? I came straight from my parents to my husband never have lived alone and hubby is 7 years older than me and is the "boss " I spose for a way of words in the relationship. Trying to make sence to me maybe I have relaspes because its a "me" desision Im making allbeit a dumb one??? I allways get treated like the "baby" in the family my lovely old mum still insists I ring if I go down the line to ring her when I get back home. I get told by hubby "Im a lovely little thing" . Sorry just fluffing around on the net and I wanted to write my thoughts down here so I can revisit my post when I need too..oh and the house is 70% done ..dam internet and trade me lol
take care
Ang

Ange,

I can relate to that. I was always the good girl and never gave anyone any trouble. I think there was a part of me that wanted to rebel against everyone who had expected me to do things for them and offer nothing in return. But, that was only a small part. The big part of it was, that I didn't like myself and I was poisoning myself.

Oh yeah-rebellion is a huge key for me too ang. I got so tired of being good as well.I really went crazy in my early 20's but I still have that streak in me too.

Thing is-if I drink when I feel p*ssed off with everything and everyone and 'being good' the main person I hurt is myself-not anyone else.

You know this too :) You're doing well hon.

Love Julesxox

I dunno Ang...it might be your form of rebellion, or started that way at least sure...

but whatever the cause (and there's more than just psychology involved IMO) today, down the track, it's not good though because it's not liberating or freeing you in anyway is it ?

It's become something that's made you very unhappy.

I know it's hard to do cos I'm the same, but I think you need to focus on the effects rather than the causes, hon.

Sometimes you can think too much. Just concentrate on not drinking today. Leave the whys and wherefores til later, if you ask me.

love ya
D

thanks anna I was the same as a teenager I was a good girl wouldnt dream of doing or saying anthing that would upset my parents. I didnt start dating till I was 20 years old I was so dam shy and Jules Im getting there I still feel that I have to be "good" for hubby and my parents *sigh* I never even went out as a teen to parties etc maybe Im having one of those midlife crisis?/
thanks for lstening to me :0)
Ang day five oh yeah oh yeah ...does a little jig!!

Thanks Dee :0)

no worrries Ang.

D

I was the same way growing up. Always a good girl. But I had to too. I very very scared of my Dad and his temper. I was 19 when i really rebelled. I smoked cigarettes the first time, tried pot the first time, and lost my virginity all at 19. Now drinking is a different story. I was 17 the first time at a graduation party at a friend's house.

Barb