cad4dale2000

I met a guy at a meeting who i've been hanging out with for the past two weeks. He relapsed today and I'm not sure of what to do. We made an agreement that if relapse happened that we would have to cut off hangin' out. We have been attending a lot of meetings together and I'm wondering if I should try to help him. I'm only 14 days clean and worried if I try to find him he could possibly pull me into what he might be doing. I don't think my will power is strong enough yet. I'm looking for a little advise. Thank's.

baggervance

dont gamble with your soberity get two people with some time two go talk to him take care off yourself it is not your responsibility to save the world just save yourself.

GlassPrisoner

Yup. Baggers got it. I hate to say it, but get used to it. I only have about 10 months, but I've seen a lot of people go back out. Many of them I'd give rides to meetings on a regular basis, and hang out outside of AA.

Their stories aren't done that's all.

If they do come back, then by all means welcome them, and tell them how good the program is working for you. Don't pass judgment or preach.

chicago

i have been in this situation literally dozens of times. it was explained to me very early on that they will get you drunk before you will get them sober. a vital part of longterm sobriety is surrounding yourself with winners. it doesnt happen overnight, but if you stay vigilent in your program the winners and losers separate themselves and it naturally happens. congrats on 14 days...today was a victory for you and me both for staying sober! lets do it together!

IO Storm

Don't write the (guy) off please..

But don't hang out either...maybe you two can talk only after a meeting..

coffe maybe?

Your kindness may make a huge difference to this person...

But your sobriety comes first or they may NOT have a friend like you...

In love,

IO

cad4dale2000

Thank's for the advise everyone. I will definitely follow it.

Jersey Nonny

Uh, Huh! Two newcomers do not make one oldtimer...bad idea for newbies to counsel each other. If he comes back to the meetings...make that when he comes back to the meetings...welcome him, but it would be best if you got him going out to coffee with several others after the meetings. He definitely needs a support group...of course, you do, too.

If you don't have a sponsor yet, get one...even if it's a temporary one for now. He would probably have given you the same advice you got here; but, it's always more effective if it's face to face.

Good luck to you and your friend.

Pureblonde

So hard....And im sorry that it happened....but you need to look after you! He will come back to you when he knows its the right time!...
Can you guys head me in the right direction??? Last year (Feb) I quit work and went into detox...i was 8 yrs addicted to mersyndol (i found out it was the doxylamine not the codeine i was addicted to)...i was so happy and started to live the life i had pretended to for years...(the life my friends thought i had lived)...im generally happy and the life of the party, always there for my friends and hold down a good job, and since last year have been promoted and been given perks galore....im so grateful...however the past 3 months...i have gone back to my old ways...i dont take the tablets through the day (as i was amazed to read on a form that some people do)...i take 20-30a night, in one sitting and hope to god that i fall asleep, if that doesnt work i lie awake until morning when i finally sleep and get up for work looking and feeling like crap....Ive dont his before, but i had to quit my job and tell all my friends and got help...but now im seen as being happy and healthy and cant afford to leave my job, let alone tell my friends ive not only let myself down but ive let them down too....every night i say no i wont do it...every night...i do....i know i can detox....but its the week of sleepless nights, the nausea, the pain that i cant deal with...i wish there was another way, as soon as im dtoxed i am commited to rehab (as it works around my work hhours) but detox is so impossible unless you go to a detox centre and this i cant afford or do...do you have any ideas of how to detox from this awful nightmare...so i can then go onto recovery???