Financial troubles & being new to recovery.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Denver, Colorado
Posts: 81
Financial troubles & being new to recovery.
Ok so I have found an NA meeting that I really like. I haven't found a sponsor yet because I want to make sure I don't jump at the first person that offers. I really want to find someone I feel comfortable with. I have talked to a few women in my NA group though that have over 5 years of being clean & sober. We were talking about stress factors that make me want to use cocaine and I mentioned some financial troubles from my past that I pretty much have tried to ignore while using. My ignoring these problems have of course made them worse and I have gotten myself (and my credit score) into hot water by not acting.
I was surprised, but these women told me to try to obtain at least a year's sobriety before tackling my finances. How could I do this and would that be wise? Inside I am screaming no but feel so confused. I know I am not the only person with financial woes and wondered if any others here have some advice for a newcomer. I am worried that I might overwhelm myself trying to tackle too much, but these are also problems that can't continue to go ignored.
Has anyone else here dug themselves out of a financial hole and stayed clean and sober? Any words of advise on how to move forward? Sorry for rambling.
I was surprised, but these women told me to try to obtain at least a year's sobriety before tackling my finances. How could I do this and would that be wise? Inside I am screaming no but feel so confused. I know I am not the only person with financial woes and wondered if any others here have some advice for a newcomer. I am worried that I might overwhelm myself trying to tackle too much, but these are also problems that can't continue to go ignored.
Has anyone else here dug themselves out of a financial hole and stayed clean and sober? Any words of advise on how to move forward? Sorry for rambling.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hi Daisy,
I'm having financial difficulties myself right now, but yes, I'm staying clean and sober.
I think maybe these women are telling you to wait a year as we are not encouraged to make any major changes during that time frame, but if you can afford to start chipping away at your debt a little at a time, I don't see anything wrong with that. Only you know what you can afford.
I'm glad you found NA to your liking and are looking around for a sponsor.
Rowan
I'm having financial difficulties myself right now, but yes, I'm staying clean and sober.
I think maybe these women are telling you to wait a year as we are not encouraged to make any major changes during that time frame, but if you can afford to start chipping away at your debt a little at a time, I don't see anything wrong with that. Only you know what you can afford.
I'm glad you found NA to your liking and are looking around for a sponsor.
Rowan
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
First things first comes to mind.
Getting yourself healthy (clean and sober) first means that when you start working on the money issues...you will be stronger and can handle things much better.
Struggle and pay what you can... the money problems still will be an issue in a year.
Work on you and then deal with the money issue... in two years time you can be ahead even more so then trying to struggle it all out now.
Personally I would say call each creditor and tell them you are on hard times but want to own up to what you owe. Most will make deals with you if their options are a little now or nothing till you feel you can better handle it.
If $20 is all you can do, don't let them talk you into $50. Credit counseling services can be an option as well but research them because some are just as bad a trap as a credit card.
Getting yourself healthy (clean and sober) first means that when you start working on the money issues...you will be stronger and can handle things much better.
Struggle and pay what you can... the money problems still will be an issue in a year.
Work on you and then deal with the money issue... in two years time you can be ahead even more so then trying to struggle it all out now.
Personally I would say call each creditor and tell them you are on hard times but want to own up to what you owe. Most will make deals with you if their options are a little now or nothing till you feel you can better handle it.
If $20 is all you can do, don't let them talk you into $50. Credit counseling services can be an option as well but research them because some are just as bad a trap as a credit card.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 58
Hi, thanks for the post I could really relate. I too am new to being clean and sober and am only now realising how bad my financial situation is. Staying clean and sober is the only way to fix things so I am first and foremost staying clean and everything else will take care of itself. I believe that once I am stronger I will have the whereabouts to fix the rest of the mess I've left behind...and start begging at the bank!
Well done on getting clean...keep in touch.
Amelia
Well done on getting clean...keep in touch.
Amelia
: pay a little there
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: NJ & PA
Posts: 10
when i was having problems i was so deep into debt that it made me use more and not care at all. credit cards maxed, etc. but since i stopped using i actually am able to pay it down slowly. its really easy to screw up you credit and finances, and so hard to fix them.
there is hope, just do whatever you can to be on time with payments, if thats even possible for you right now. get better first, then worry about that stuff. it gets better and your life isnt over, not even close. i've been there. if it helps only think from day to day, not into the future where you get overwhelmed at the entire situation. i still do that to this day, and i am still paying money for my screw ups. good luck.
there is hope, just do whatever you can to be on time with payments, if thats even possible for you right now. get better first, then worry about that stuff. it gets better and your life isnt over, not even close. i've been there. if it helps only think from day to day, not into the future where you get overwhelmed at the entire situation. i still do that to this day, and i am still paying money for my screw ups. good luck.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: MA.
Posts: 1,719
Hello,
Financial problems are the least of my problems...When I hit rock bottom, I lost self respect, reliable transportation, (DUI), the trust of close family members, and nearly lost my life.
One thing that helped me is to keep it all in a day...Focus on what you can take care of today. Don't feel like you have to take on the whole world...
Thinking of you....
Financial problems are the least of my problems...When I hit rock bottom, I lost self respect, reliable transportation, (DUI), the trust of close family members, and nearly lost my life.
One thing that helped me is to keep it all in a day...Focus on what you can take care of today. Don't feel like you have to take on the whole world...
Thinking of you....
No more merlot, more mamma
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hills, Ct
Posts: 2,139
Hi Daisy,
I was in a foreclosure process for my home when I first got sober. I HAD to take care of that situation right away. Even though there were two of us living here and paying bills (my ex) I felt very responsible for the situation. Happily I was able to stop it and get up to date. I can't tell you how relieved and PROUD of myself I felt, and that helped me in my recovery.
I understand that you want to take care of things and right them, be it financial/relationships/etc, sorta excited that NOW you are able to act responsibly, but give yourself some time..if you can, call the creditors and arrange smallish payments. But, I wouldn't ignore nor obsess about financial stuff until you feel very strong in your program. You don't want to put any additional stress on yourself..so maybe just owning up to them is the first step for you. Staying sober is the most important thing right now.
Karen
I was in a foreclosure process for my home when I first got sober. I HAD to take care of that situation right away. Even though there were two of us living here and paying bills (my ex) I felt very responsible for the situation. Happily I was able to stop it and get up to date. I can't tell you how relieved and PROUD of myself I felt, and that helped me in my recovery.
I understand that you want to take care of things and right them, be it financial/relationships/etc, sorta excited that NOW you are able to act responsibly, but give yourself some time..if you can, call the creditors and arrange smallish payments. But, I wouldn't ignore nor obsess about financial stuff until you feel very strong in your program. You don't want to put any additional stress on yourself..so maybe just owning up to them is the first step for you. Staying sober is the most important thing right now.
Karen
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: spokane, wa
Posts: 83
Daisy
It's so hard to start recovery with financial and other problems to deal with at the same time. I know what you are going through.
About 7 years ago, I found myself in huge credit card debt and could not see a way out. I contacted a credit counselling service (if you look for one make sure they are legit and non profit). They really helped. My payments became one low monthly payment and in 4 years everything was paid off. They really can work with credit card companies and lower or remove the interest on your cards. I thought I would let you know that it did work for me. It saved me from bankruptcy.
Make sure that you concentrate mostly on yourself and being good to yourself. Try not to be side tracked with other issues. The most important thing is your health and well being.
Hang in there Daisy
Karen
It's so hard to start recovery with financial and other problems to deal with at the same time. I know what you are going through.
About 7 years ago, I found myself in huge credit card debt and could not see a way out. I contacted a credit counselling service (if you look for one make sure they are legit and non profit). They really helped. My payments became one low monthly payment and in 4 years everything was paid off. They really can work with credit card companies and lower or remove the interest on your cards. I thought I would let you know that it did work for me. It saved me from bankruptcy.
Make sure that you concentrate mostly on yourself and being good to yourself. Try not to be side tracked with other issues. The most important thing is your health and well being.
Hang in there Daisy
Karen
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
Finances & Romances......
But yeah, you have to be ready before you tackle the big stuff. I was reviewing my finances for the time period since I was fired for drinking on the job last August. If I filed a tax return for August to August, I'd claim $23,000 Gross. That's before taxes, deductions, dependents, etc. I have a teenage daughter, and an apartment that rents for $1200.00 month. And you know what ? I made it. I also focused almost solely on recovery.
Yesterday, I went to a job interview. They called back in less than an hour. I had an offer in my in-box before the day was over. Just over 60K a year. I think God thinks I'm ready to start getting a handle on this money thing.
But yeah, you have to be ready before you tackle the big stuff. I was reviewing my finances for the time period since I was fired for drinking on the job last August. If I filed a tax return for August to August, I'd claim $23,000 Gross. That's before taxes, deductions, dependents, etc. I have a teenage daughter, and an apartment that rents for $1200.00 month. And you know what ? I made it. I also focused almost solely on recovery.
Yesterday, I went to a job interview. They called back in less than an hour. I had an offer in my in-box before the day was over. Just over 60K a year. I think God thinks I'm ready to start getting a handle on this money thing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Denver, Colorado
Posts: 81
Originally Posted by merlotmamma 
I was in a foreclosure process for my home when I first got sober. I HAD to take care of that situation right away. Even though there were two of us living here and paying bills (my ex) I felt very responsible for the situation. Happily I was able to stop it and get up to date. I can't tell you how relieved and PROUD of myself I felt, and that helped me in my recovery.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Denver, Colorado
Posts: 81
Thank you everyone for the very thoughtful replies! When those two women at my NA group said similar things to me - it seemed so crazy at first! I thought they must be crazy. Now it all makes so much more sense. I also realize I am not in as bad of financial shape as I thought. I rent a very inexpensive apartment and drive a used, reliable - paid for car. Things could be a lot worse! Beating myself up over it is not going to help me stay clean.
I plan to contact my creditors and pay what I can.
Like the Monty Python boys say:
"NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!"
Daisy
I plan to contact my creditors and pay what I can.
Like the Monty Python boys say:
"NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!"
Daisy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Denver, Colorado
Posts: 81
Originally Posted by GlassPrisoner
Yesterday, I went to a job interview. They called back in less than an hour. I had an offer in my in-box before the day was over. Just over 60K a year. I think God thinks I'm ready to start getting a handle on this money thing.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
I rent a very inexpensive apartment and drive a used, reliable - paid for car. Things could be a lot worse!
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