madmax357

I have been drinking a fifth of whiskey a day for over 5 years now. I do not get drunk, so I guess I'm what you call a functioning alcoholic. I have custody of my children ( my son 8 and my daughter 11) I love them sooooo much and want to stay alive to see them grow up. My health isnt so great as I have Hepatitis c and chronic liver disease, I feel so weak and helpless cause I have no one to help me. My weight has balooned from 175 to about 250 in a few years time. I used to lift weights and was very health oriented then I just seemed to lose my way. God I'm so pathetic, $I hate myself and dont have a clue where to turn. I have quit for 2-3 days at a time, but always slide right back. The nights I quit I can never sleep and my body shakes so much I can't function. Sorry to burden others with my obvious shortcomings. but I just need some friendly encouragement.

stone

Hi Madmax, you have some really compelling reasons to quit.

Have you talked to your doctor about detox? How do you feel about rehab and/or AA?

Welcome to SR!

madworld

If your not getting drunk then you need to detox. I hope that you really consider going to rehab because alchohol detox is supposedly dangerous and it sounds like you got a lot of health problems. I hate rehab but it seems like with all the liver problems it might be the best option. Good luck!

karrotop

good morning....glad you,"stopped by" SR......sounds like you need some help....we can't do this alone....see a doctor first....address your medical issues and be honest about your drinking...start there...I used to think i was,"functioning" too.once i got sober and was able to look back on my drinking days,i could see how DYSfunctional i was....I lived my life around my evening cocktails.....that was the most important thing in my life.....my family,my friends,my mental and physical health were not my #1 priority....and that was slowly killing me....
If you really want to stop,and i think you do....do it for your kids first....they need a role model....they need someone they can trust and depend on...and you need to be able to look yourself in the mirror and like who you see.....get some help.....and keep coming to SR...the folks here have helped me through alot of rough times.good luck!

barb dwyer

There's a very good place to turn, hon ... right in the front of the phone book.

That's a lot of whiskey to be going through a night. Please tell me you'll consult a doctor before trying to cold turkey yourself, though.

Hope exists.

We're here, too!

Most everyone hwere knows what it's like. And not a one of us got into aa because our lives were going great.

Rusty Zipper

max, welcome to the insanity...

happy to see your looking into this potentially fatel problem...

yes, i did the house cow! (coming out of withdrawls) arg!... sugestion, doc, detox, rehab.. then a recovery plan when sprung!

all good wishes max

xxo, rz

tkdan

Hey madmax, Welcome. Hepatitus C makes it very difficult for your liver to repair damage. I know because I had it, I want through that year of hell treatment for it too. You have to be sober for the treatment. If you do not stop drinknig it is only a matter of time before your liver is too far gone. It could be years or days that is why it is important to quit now. Do not quit without dr assistance. I have a 7yo son 11yo daughter and 15yo son and I would not want them to go through life without me there. You should quit for your children but most important is you should quit for yourself. Regardless of how you feel about yourself right now you are important and you are depended on by those kids. Sobriety is doable all you have to do is want it and give it your all. Good luck and keep coming back.

Rowan

Welcome, Madmax - I'm glad you're reaching out and looking for help.

parentrecovers

it's nice to meet you, max - please keep posting and know that recovery is possible. if you are honest with a doctor, he or she can help you with detox?

your kids are lucky to have a dad willing to get sober.

blessings, k

carl11

ditto....you know you have a problem...first step...next step...reach out....you are here thats good, keep coming back, find something else to do with your time in the evening ( after seeing an MD and getting advice) etc....meetings etc...get out of the environment that promotes your drinking.....I go to meetings 4 nights a week..the nights where in I have in the past, I just sat back and drank and drank etc....change up....

Sheryl85

Hope you are doing better this morning. Please listen to the folks who have responded and get some professional help. I detoxed alone and it wasn't anything I'd wish on anyone else. Talk to a doctor that is familiar with what is going on with alcoholics. The sooner you make that move the better it will be for everyone concerned. Good luck and keep us updated on the progress....

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

Hi Max,

Please please please go to your doctor and be honest. With your current health problems as you stated, I agree with the others and urge you to detox with professional help.

My mother died from cirrhosis at 57. FIFTY-SEVEN. Much too young to go in my opinion.Not a nice way to die either. I was heading down that road at quite a pace myself..I chose to be there for my children and it was the best thing that I've ever done!!

You've already taken the first step and that takes a lot of courage!!

Karen

madmax357

Thank you everyone for the nice responses, I know I have a very serious problem and I just need to do the right thing and quit. I can't afford to go through a treatment facility or even visit a doctor so I will be going it alone. I just ask for your prayers and words of encouragement cause I have almost given up on life at this point.. I don't mean to whine or be weak but I cry so much just typing this and reading other peoples stories of recovery... God bless you all and thank you so much.

barb dwyer

hi MM -

I didn't go to any rehab, or treatment...
but I *did* consult my doctor.

And I followed directions.

hope you're ok today
barb

96tears

Madmax I feel for you! I drank most of my life very very heavy too! It really comes down to wanting to live for yourself and others you love around you, or die. 25 days ago I made a choice. That choice was to live. I am now a short 25 days into this new amazing healthier lifestyle. It feels weird and strange and all that but you can do it! Just set it down, and don't look back. It is very hard for me not to pick it up again and start doing shots myself, but LIFE is a REAL BLESSING and I have taken it for granted long enough! We all want to help you! Starting right now! You can do it!

madmax357

Thank you so much my brother, it is a mess ive gotten myself into. I really appreciate and need the encouragement everyone here gives . I will say that the main problem ive had is giving a crap about myself again. I so m uch appreciate all the support people give here and it could very well make the difference between my failure or success... Thank you so much.

madmax357

And 96tears I want you to live too my friend...

96tears

We are here. No looking back! Do it! You can!

96tears

We are alive my good friend and we have choices, now at our age it is time to make the right ones.

GlassPrisoner

Welcome MM !!!!!!

There is a solution, many of us have been there. I was a 24 x 7 drinker at the end, and I also had custody of my two wonderful teenage daughters when I was drinking. (I still do, BTW) I know about the shakes, the sweats, and all the other unpleasant side effects of withdraw.

First, get to a doctor, you might need medical de-tox. After that, get yourself into a good recovery program, I use AA, and it worked for me.

You're problem is you're drinking a 5th day. take care of that first, then your recovery program will eventually point out those things in life that lead you to drink.