pointmagnet

I am quitting drinking because my wife has finally convinced me... She is driving me nuts so the only way to get her off of my case is to step away from the bottle.

I was a three-drink an evening drinker (usually wine or cheap beer) on weekdays and probably six during the day on weekends (two or three beers with yard work). Rarely ever got drunk anymore because I didn't like the way I felt the next day... But the wife sez it's a bad influence on the kids to have alcohol around the house all the time. Okay, fine.

But I must tell you that I am bitter because she is the one who "cannot hold" her alcohol. I haven't been sick from booze in over 20 years - she's been puking drunk three times in the last three years, the most recently at a company party where my best friend and I had to literally carry her home and clean her up. It cost 135 bucks to get his car detailed after the messy and embarassing incident.

Anyway, I digress... The abstinence from wine and beer will be difficult, I think, because of the presence of it at social occasions and also having easy access to it while I travel with my job. But I know I'll feel better and be more healthy in the long run...

Fortunately, I have no health problems due to my long-term drinking. In fact, when I was pounding the beer and wine most frequently, I was probably in my best shape - lifting weights and distance running every day. One night I had four glasses of cabernet, followed it up with a temazepam chaser to help me sleep and then, early the next morning, finished 8th overall out of 250 (1st in my age group) in a 2-mile race on a very hilly course (6:20 per mile). I am still stupidly proud of that - but realize Iprobably could have won the damn thing if I hadn't been drinking....

Now I have been about a year without exercise while still drinking and I am paying for it. Gained about 25 lbs of sheer fat - yuck. Ran 3.5 miles yesterday and thought I would die. But I made it and that's the attitude I'll have to take with stopping drinking - just have to make it - just keep going and don't stop.

BTW, what is everyone's opition on Ambien for insomnia? It really helps me (booze or no booze) so I don't plan to go off of it. Does it count for being sober if I still take an Ambien at night???

We'll thanks for the opportunity to vent. I enjoy reading others' experiences and it sounds like we're all in the same boat one way or the other. Time to go back to work now for me!

parentrecovers

nice to meet you, pointmagnet. keep posting! blessings, k

Rowan

Hi Point,

Welcome to Sober Recovery. As hard as it may be, try to focus on your own drinking, and maybe your wife will follow your own good example as you abstain and try to regain your level of optimum health.

What stuck out for me was that you drank 4 glasses of wine and followed it with a benzo - to help you sleep - the night before a challenging event. Regardless of how you placed, that's not exactly a prescription for placing 1st (for most people).

So - your wife suggested you stop drinking - and you seem open to, despite some resentment. Are you just going to stop? Taper? Use a support system? AA? Just feeling you out here. Have you ever taken the 20 questions test about your drinking habits?

Bottom line? I'm glad you're with us, and I hope you keep reading and posting. I'll get a couple of links for you and come back to post them.

Rowan

Here is an excerpt from the book Under the Influence: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

Here are the 20 questions: http://www.winternet.com/~terrym/twenty.html

pointmagnet

Rowan -

Thanks for the kind thoughts... In response to your questions, I am stopping cold turkey - 3 days in now... The wife wouldn't go for the tapering, and I don't think it would work for me. One glass of wine would likely lead to my usual three per evening.

Don't have a support group - that's why I am posting here.

I did take the 20 questions test earlier this morning and scored about a 12. I'm probably as "functioning" as an alcoholic can be. The one thing my drinking is really affecting now is my relationship with my wife, so I feel something must be done.

Thanks again for your help...

parentrecovers

aa is a good option...

GlassPrisoner

Welcome pointmagnet !!!!

Wow, 12/20. That's OK, I scored 20/20

You mentioned functioning alcoholic. My definition of that term means you haven't lost your job yet. This disease progresses, and all of those things may happen to you eventually.

You said moderation probably won't work for you, and that's an astute observation. I know I can't moderate.

I went to AA way back when for my wife. I got better, and quit going. Eventually though, I picked up again, and this time it was ON. 10 years of gradually increasing consequences, followed by 2 years of 24 x 7 drinking and withdraw if I didn't. I went back out of desperation, and this time it stuck

I wish you well. as you can guess, I suggest a good recovery program, like AA.

parentrecovers

i scored pretty high/almost perfect on the "are you codependent" survey, gp - no point in doing things halfway! blessings, k

pointmagnet

I figured the weight gain and my lack of interest in exercise were two pretty good indicators that I might be on that slippery slope, to use an over-used cliche. My work performance has been fine - just changed jobs for a good raise recently (went back to an old employer who is an enabler of sorts: "Here take my drink coupons - I know you'll put them to good use")

Nonetheless, it's probably good to stop now before it gets out of hand. Well, it is getting to be that time of day now where I crave that first beer or glass of wine - I hate that. Plus, I may stop eating so much, as there's nothing I like better with a good steak than a glass of cabernet... If you can't have the wine, why eat the steak? Red meat's not good for us anyway....

Thanks again everyone for the nice responses. It feels good just to talk about it with folks who have been there....

Macphisto

you sure don't sound like al alcoholic to me but maybe just on your way to becoming one. It's good that you're stopping but I think that if you're not doing it of your own free will you may not have much success. I use to drink only weekends in what I thought was moderation and my wife use to get on my case. She told me a few times to stop and I did for short perirods but always came back to it and eventually it became an everyday thing. At first it was only 1 or 2 per evening but it slowely progressed to between 4 and 8 per evening and much more on weekends

Anyway, good luck, you may be able to do it for her..

Jersey Nonny

The title of this thread gave me a chuckle...reminded me of the time I told "my story" from the podium at an AA meeting...a guy came up to me afterward and said, "WOW...what a horror story." I thought it was pretty tame, by comparison. Go figure!

Quote:

BTW, what is everyone's opition on Ambien for insomnia? It really helps me (booze or no booze) so I don't plan to go off of it. Does it count for being sober if I still take an Ambien at night???

I'm 27+ years sober (through AA), and have been taking prescribed Ambien for the past few years. Hope that answers your question.

carl11

Moderation won't work for me either..been there done that ..cnce went a week and half but in the end, my "confidence " in my taming it reasserted itself and bang...back on the skids....I am an alcoholic...thats it period full stop.....moderation may as glass prisoner alluded, just be a crutch..it was to me a mental crutch that helped me avoid the truth...a sad but inevitable truth...
hang in there...

GlassPrisoner

Damn straight, if I'm gonna be an alocohilic , I'm gonna be AN ALCOHOLIC !!!!! No in between for us.

Grateful Heart

Glad to have you with us, pointmagnet. Keep reading and posting! GH