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Finally saying goodbye to the old life.

Old 08-02-2007, 02:42 AM
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death before dishonor
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Finally saying goodbye to the old life.

Yo whats up yall. Its late and I'm bored so I thought I share something with all yall. I was a heroin addict when I was 19 years old and quit that ct after being homeless for 9 months. My life was getting to crazy my one best friend got locked up for 25 years for multiple offenses and my other best friend was killed by the police r.i.p gt I will love you forever my man. so I decided it was time to quit. But anyways. I quit for 2 years and moved to another city. When I moved to another city I started going to college but like a dumba** I got caught up with making money in ways i'm not going to talk about but I started making a good amount. In my good years I made a half a mill a year not the kingpin but not broke. Anyways it was to much for a drug addict to have. I started getting crazy with spending money like I bought multiple luxury and sports cars, I was seeing three chicks at once, snorting 8 balls with naked girls and strippers in my house buying my main chick 40 grand cars. Doing tons of steroids like an idiot. I'm not trying to brag I'm just trying to show you how chaotic my life was it is what it is. Now this is when I messed up I picked up the needle and starting shooting up oxycotins. You guys probably won't even believe this but I got up to shooting 4 to 5 80mg pills at a time and did about 20 80mg pills a day. Doctor told me I would be lucky to live because I described to him od symptons that I was having like my constant slow breating and confusion when I would shoot up. So I started trying to quit but by this time I built a 70 grand debt with some serious cats. They literally put a price on my head. I went cold turkey eventually. While I was going ct I was wearing a bulletproof vest and had a machine gun and shotgun under my couch. Anyways I cleaned up for almost 2 months and didn't even feel close to normal. So I went back and sold everything I had because I couldn't make no money anymore because word was out that I was f*&king up hard and had a reputation for being out of control. But 17 days ago I was going to cop and I said screw it I can't do this no more so I finally just embraced all the pain and cleaned my a** up. I still don't feel 100% but I do feel like for the first time in 3 years that I don't need to shoot up to make it through the day. I finally am saying goodbye to the life of drugs, violence, girls, and fast money. I still got days where I miss the life especially the money but I have finally relaized that money does not make you and it does not mean true life success. I have lost everything materialistic wise but I gained my soul back and that means more then any dead president or political figure that I have ever seen on a bill. Yo and to all the young people out there that have not hit bottom yet, trust me when I say this, this is not the life to live, I have lost so much and I am 26 years old now and have no job experience, schooling, basically no family, friends are either dead, in jail, or living at home with their moms. Their is so much more bad stuff that I could tell you so if you have not hit your bottom do yourself a favor and don't. Sorry for the long post. Withdrawals got me staying up. Good luck to yall.
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Old 08-02-2007, 03:49 AM
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Hi again Madworld and thank you for your post, I am sure it will help some people.
You have made the right decision, I am glad you got your soul back too.
As you know staying quit is harder than quitting so I hope you are looking into things like face to face support and programs of recovery.

Welcome to SR!
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Old 08-02-2007, 05:11 AM
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Hi Madworld,

Thank you for sharing, for being so honest. You're very lucky to be alive. I admire your courage and determination to get well.
Besides willpower, what else is helping you to stay clean?
I hope you continue to read and post here - welcome to our recovery community.

Rowan
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Old 08-02-2007, 08:05 AM
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Hi mad,

Thanks for sharing that welcome to SR! You will find support here.
Stick around and keep posting

Jennifer
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Old 08-02-2007, 08:10 AM
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let it grow!
 
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it's nice to meet you, madworld, and thank you for sharing your story. keep posting, and blessings, k
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Old 08-02-2007, 08:57 AM
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No more merlot, more mamma
 
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Welcome. I hope that you keep posting..

Karen
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Old 08-02-2007, 09:17 AM
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Welcome, congrats, and keep up the good work! You never know who'll you'll meet here that you can help!
susan
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Old 08-02-2007, 10:11 AM
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Welocme to Sr,

Keep posting, we are here for you.
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Old 08-02-2007, 10:19 AM
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Welcome, that is one crazy life you were living man, you sure are lucky to be alive.

I applaude you for giving up the drugs and violence but I don't think you necessarily have to give up the girls man...
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Old 08-02-2007, 02:27 PM
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death before dishonor
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Originally Posted by Macphisto View Post
Welcome, that is one crazy life you were living man, you sure are lucky to be alive.

I applaude you for giving up the drugs and violence but I don't think you necessarily have to give up the girls man...
lol that made me laugh. I just need to go get a different type of woman but you know when your living that life you always meet the crazys. My friend always told me crazy attracts crazy and he is right.
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Old 08-02-2007, 02:29 PM
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death before dishonor
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Originally Posted by Rowan View Post
Hi Madworld,

Thank you for sharing, for being so honest. You're very lucky to be alive. I admire your courage and determination to get well.
Besides willpower, what else is helping you to stay clean?
I hope you continue to read and post here - welcome to our recovery community.

Rowan
You know whats help me stay clean is thinking about just going through those withdrawals all over again. Yo that was some intense s**t and I don't want to do it all over again.
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Old 08-02-2007, 06:52 PM
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Originally Posted by madworld View Post
You know whats help me stay clean is thinking about just going through those withdrawals all over again. Yo that was some intense s**t and I don't want to do it all over again.

Don't ever forget then! I'm glad you're here with us and hope you stick around.

Row
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