Dream2bClean

I am not on the verge of losing everything but for the years and years of using I for the first time could possibly lose a new job I have due to absences that I could always cover up before b/c I was at the same place for 8 years and are now very noticalble especially since I work for DR's. (Dont touch the scripts though did that before and the guile and nervousness killed me so I done even look at thm, at all)

Now I changed careers, got pregnant, stopped evrything during that time, had our beautiful baby girl! My husband still uses and there is always something here for me. It was cute when I first started using again after having the baby b/c it took nothing to get me messed up now I am back to and further than where I was before her b/c luckily (right) the hospital and my husband introduced me to pain meds which I never used or liked before now I am using then in addtition to benzos and alcohol everyday and having problems at work.

My baby is well taken care of, so that is not a problem but it will be when she will see what I saw growing uo (2 alcoholic parents) lives ruined and so on. I see the cycle completely happening again. In detail.

I will not let it happen, I know I have to get to a meeting, but cant do it b/c I have no child care b/c my husband works the opposite schedule as me and I really dont want to take her to the meeting, I am embarassed about going myself and will really stand out bringing a baby.

I am rambling I know, I know a lot of you can see yourselves in me. Any insight or advice is apprecieted.

Than you in advance, please help.
Christine

Anna

I don't go to meetings and I have been sober over 6years.

Yes, meetings help many people, but you can get sober and not go to meetings.

And, I would say that you need to make sobriety your priority. It needs to be more important than other things in your life. You need to make room for it. I don't go to meetings, but I do take care of myself every day. I have to.

ShawMac

God Bless you and hang in there!.Your post touched me.I lost a career to drinking and using several years ago---I dont know your specific situation ,of course but Ive seen (and experienced) many instances where coming clean (being honest) with your employer and taking concrete steps in the right direction(rehab,detox,verifiable meeting attendance)can save a job/career. I also say..GO to the meeting tonight even if you cant get a baby sitter(if thats what you need tonight).Ive seen the occasional mother with baby at ameeting and know what the score is (someone couldnt get a sitter that night)--so what---doesnt bother me a bit! God Bless you.

hopefully tryin

HI and welcome,
I know that the NA meeting I go to always has children there. After I had my baby I brought him and everyone loved it. It is like adding a new, fresh, clean life to the room I thinl they really actually love to see children because of there innocence and loveability. I went to my first meeting w/o my baby but brought him along to all my other meeting and all the people there loved it! If you want to stay clean and sober then dont worry about bringing your baby, people understand and will help you. They also know why you are there and that you definetaly need to get and stay clean for that precious new life that you have

Change4life

I havent been to that many meetings, but the ones I did attend usually had kids their. Go to the meeting if that is what you think will help. whats a little embarrasment if it means ending the cycle.

What if you lose control and arent able to care for the baby properly. I think it will be more embarrassing if God forbid the system takes your child from you.