Day 4 - so why don't I feel great?
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Worcester
Posts: 789
I think a problem that I have always had as an addicted person is the misconception that I should be able to feel a certain way at any given time...that's why I used...I thought I could regulate my moods and feelings. My body had other ideas.
61'st day sober as of:12/18/07
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Casper, Wyoming U.S.
Posts: 241
I think one of the most difficult things (at least for me) is that I used to always have a beer in my hand when I was cooking a meal, watching a movie, having a conversation, before sex, while on the phone, etc and now I have to re-learn to do all of those things without the beer and so I avoid these things and now I am "bored". Sound familiar?.
Me:
Boil rice...
Gulp a beer...
Puff a cig...
Take rice off stove...
Gulp a beer...
Turn TV on...
Puff a cig...
Get veggies out...
Gulp a beer...
Puff a cig...
It's as if everything I did in life revolved around the act of drinking and chain-smoking myself to death while doing it.
Need4Change
Me:
Boil rice...
Gulp a beer...
Puff a cig...
Take rice off stove...
Gulp a beer...
Turn TV on...
Puff a cig...
Get veggies out...
Gulp a beer...
Puff a cig...
It's as if everything I did in life revolved around the act of drinking and chain-smoking myself to death while doing it.
Need4Change
61'st day sober as of:12/18/07
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Casper, Wyoming U.S.
Posts: 241
It's the wee hours of day 6 and I'm still clean. Yesterday was just a tiny bit better but this depressing "cloud" that continues to hang over my head is not something I remember experiencing during previous detoxifications. Perhaps as others have suggested, it's because I have been through so many detoxifications and each time it gets more and more difficult. I discontinued the Naltrexone on day 5 and just tolerated the cravings. My brain feels like it's been pickled in brine. I feel like a vegetable. I'm on auto-pilot now just waiting for the day when I can wake up and "snap out of it" and feel good again. I took a Celexa (for depression) the other day and it seemed to help (some) but had side effects so I didn't take anymore after that. Well, thanks to all of you for the tremendous support and encouragement. I don't know what I would do without this place.
Need4Change
Need4Change
61'st day sober as of:12/18/07
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Casper, Wyoming U.S.
Posts: 241
Hi everyone
Here is an excerpt from an email I just sent my parents this morning. I thought I would share it...
"Hi Dad & Mom
Well, I've now gone 7 days without alcohol or cigarettes (although I still chew) and yesterday was the first time I could actually begin to feel that dark old cloud of addiction begin to lift and the painful symptoms of withdrawal fade just a little bit. I read somewhere that an alcoholic who continues to drink can expect a reduction of 15 years in their life expectancy. Add another 7 for smoking and you have 22 years!. Not only that but the alcohol has caused me some (hopefully reversible) health problems already and so there was no other option but to either quit or eventually become very ill and die. It really is a miracle. Either God really did make himself real to me or that elderly man in the church I was telling you guys about who laid his hands on my forehead and spoke in tongues was for real!. Anyway, PRAISE THE LORD!!."
- Need4Change
Here is an excerpt from an email I just sent my parents this morning. I thought I would share it...
"Hi Dad & Mom
Well, I've now gone 7 days without alcohol or cigarettes (although I still chew) and yesterday was the first time I could actually begin to feel that dark old cloud of addiction begin to lift and the painful symptoms of withdrawal fade just a little bit. I read somewhere that an alcoholic who continues to drink can expect a reduction of 15 years in their life expectancy. Add another 7 for smoking and you have 22 years!. Not only that but the alcohol has caused me some (hopefully reversible) health problems already and so there was no other option but to either quit or eventually become very ill and die. It really is a miracle. Either God really did make himself real to me or that elderly man in the church I was telling you guys about who laid his hands on my forehead and spoke in tongues was for real!. Anyway, PRAISE THE LORD!!."
- Need4Change
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by Need4Change 
Each time I read posts like these, it encourages me to struggle on for yet another day. I find it so comforting to know that I am not alone and that virtually every alcoholic goes through this tough withdrawal phase with all of it's ups and downs (not that I would wish it on anyone!).
I just took my temp and it was 99.3 and I don't feel so good. I used to get little temps like these frequently during hangovers. Is this "normal" for most recovering alcoholics?.
Anyway, thanks again for all of the support and encouragement!.
Need4Change
I just took my temp and it was 99.3 and I don't feel so good. I used to get little temps like these frequently during hangovers. Is this "normal" for most recovering alcoholics?.
Anyway, thanks again for all of the support and encouragement!.
Need4Change
Now I'm going to say this because I think it can help you. I am not an MD and am not giving medical or Rx advice. But even if your entire plan to quit is therapy you can get some help on a short term basis to get through the withdrawals. You may or may not choose to a ask treatment center or Physician about the possibility of a short-term regimen of Librium.
Again, not a Doctor but am a person who was helped immensely with the withdrawal symptoms through a 3-4 day regimen. It will not help with cravings but will allow you to settle down enough to get yourself to the good-part, the therapy. It is not in my experience addictive and the generic is quite affordable.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hicktown, PA
Posts: 1,479
YEAH NEED4! DAY 5 COMPLETED! I am so happy for you and so proud of you! You are doing so great! And yes, your list sounds very familiar to me. (not a smoker, but the drinking part). And, yes, life seemed a bit "boring" in the beginning of sobriety, once I got over the fatigue. (I was exhausted all the time in the beginning).
But, I followed the good advice I got here and I will pass it on to you...change it up. Everything, anything. Get out of the house as much as you can, esp. (or ONLY) to places you don't associate with drinking, do something you have always wanted to try, even if it's a simple as keeping a journal or trying a low-key hobby. Change your routine - if you eat breakfast and then care for the animals, try giving Daisy her chow first and then eat your own breakfast. Anything that helps to mark this brand new life that you are embarking on will remind you why you want to be sober, and help you forget the routines that led to drinking.
If you are like me, after a few weeks (a very few for me, but everyone's different), you will begin to see the wonder and the beauty in the world that you may have either not appreciated or completely forgotten was there. And you will feel GREAT! (most of the time, because we are not meant to feel great all the time, that's what we tried to accomplish with our drinking, and look where that got us!)
Love ya, Need4 - will be waiting to see how things are going today! You are awesome!!! J
But, I followed the good advice I got here and I will pass it on to you...change it up. Everything, anything. Get out of the house as much as you can, esp. (or ONLY) to places you don't associate with drinking, do something you have always wanted to try, even if it's a simple as keeping a journal or trying a low-key hobby. Change your routine - if you eat breakfast and then care for the animals, try giving Daisy her chow first and then eat your own breakfast. Anything that helps to mark this brand new life that you are embarking on will remind you why you want to be sober, and help you forget the routines that led to drinking.
If you are like me, after a few weeks (a very few for me, but everyone's different), you will begin to see the wonder and the beauty in the world that you may have either not appreciated or completely forgotten was there. And you will feel GREAT! (most of the time, because we are not meant to feel great all the time, that's what we tried to accomplish with our drinking, and look where that got us!)
Love ya, Need4 - will be waiting to see how things are going today! You are awesome!!! J
problem with authority
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 870
:atv Hey, I can remember (not too long ago) when gathering four days of not drinking was about on par with the idea of winning the Nobel Prize!
I am on day 103 here, and this may sound like recovery-speak, but I am truly grateful for the days (and there have been many) when I just didn't feel quite right. I mean physically and/or emotionally.
In the past when I was feeling (H)ungy, (A)angry, (L)onely, or (T)ired (which was usually all the time), I would DRINK. I also drank when I was feeling celebratory and rested, so it didn't matter. Drinking was how I coped with life.
Now, every day I don't feel SUPER and get through without a drink is truly a gift. It means my brain, my body, and my soul have completed another page of life's workbook on how to cope without resorting to destrucive behavior.
Now, when I feel any or all of the HALT, I (gasp) eat, try to be mindful and flip the thought, call a friend, or even (and this is a totally new behavior), nap.
Keep on keepin' on.
-M
I am on day 103 here, and this may sound like recovery-speak, but I am truly grateful for the days (and there have been many) when I just didn't feel quite right. I mean physically and/or emotionally.
In the past when I was feeling (H)ungy, (A)angry, (L)onely, or (T)ired (which was usually all the time), I would DRINK. I also drank when I was feeling celebratory and rested, so it didn't matter. Drinking was how I coped with life.
Now, every day I don't feel SUPER and get through without a drink is truly a gift. It means my brain, my body, and my soul have completed another page of life's workbook on how to cope without resorting to destrucive behavior.
Now, when I feel any or all of the HALT, I (gasp) eat, try to be mindful and flip the thought, call a friend, or even (and this is a totally new behavior), nap.
Keep on keepin' on.
-M
smileyologist and lord of bees
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: mourning smileys near you
Posts: 2,508
Originally Posted by Need4Change
Well, this is day 5 and I'm still sober. Day 4 was a HORROR!. Since in the past I have always felt really good on days 4 & 5 and since I still feel good in the mornings and evenings I am beginning to think that the depression, fatigue and severe sleepiness are being caused (at least in part) by the Naltrexone and yet if I don't continue taking it, I'm afraid that the cravings will return. It's only when I take the Naltrexone later in the mornings that I start to feel these symptoms. I feel horrible all day and then in the evenings when the Naltrexone begins to wear off I start to feel part-way normal again. Well, here's a "toast" to day 5 but it won't be with a beer!.
Thanks for all the support and encouragement people!!
Need4Change
Thanks for all the support and encouragement people!!
Need4Change
Keep up the good work Need4Change, it's good to see that you are doing well...
You should go and check out some of your old posts, cos you'll be able to compare where you're at now to where you were then!!!
61'st day sober as of:12/18/07
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Casper, Wyoming U.S.
Posts: 241
Somehow this older post of mine has resurfaced. I sure *WISH* I was on "day 4" now after what occurred last night and YES, I want to stop, am ready to stop, willing to stop, etc. I think this is the toughest mountain I have ever climbed in my entire 45 years on this planet.
Need4Change
Need4Change
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado Prairie
Posts: 1,417
It probably was resurrected by someone that wanted to show you how long you have been full of shiit when it comes to wanting to quit. Using your wishbone instead of using your backbone has never paid off too well.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
Originally Posted by Pinkcuda
It probably was resurrected by someone that wanted to show you how long you have been full of shiit when it comes to wanting to quit. Using your wishbone instead of using your backbone has never paid off too well.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado Prairie
Posts: 1,417
I was more interested in N4Cs response. If somebody comes to me telling me they need to quit and ask for my help I hope they don't expect hugs and kisses every time they blow it. Maybe the first time or two but that's it. N4Cs a grown man, just about my age and attitude and he's hearing exactly what I hope people would have the balls to tell me when I am full of it.
Yes I do remember how hard it was to quit. Those that want to quit, quit. Those that don't want to quit, don't quit. It's that simple.
Yes I do remember how hard it was to quit. Those that want to quit, quit. Those that don't want to quit, don't quit. It's that simple.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
Simple but not easy. I spent 6 months trying to quit, I did it in the end. If you had come to me and told me I was full of shite at month 5, you would have been wrong wouldn't you? If you had done it in person, I would have knocked you out.
N4C is female BTW.
N4C is female BTW.
61'st day sober as of:12/18/07
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Casper, Wyoming U.S.
Posts: 241
Well, since you can read my mind and tell me wether I'm sincere or not about quitting then perhaps you can tell me what I was thinking right after I read your post.
On second thought, perhaps you would'nt *want* to know.
Need4Change
On second thought, perhaps you would'nt *want* to know.
Need4Change
Originally Posted by Pinkcuda
It probably was resurrected by someone that wanted to show you how long you have been full of shiit when it comes to wanting to quit. Using your wishbone instead of using your backbone has never paid off too well.
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