Newbie help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2
Newbie help
My wife & I are in our mid 40s. She's had 2 back surgeries & continues to have pain down a leg (because of sciatic nerve). She's on Loratab (10mg) x4 (per day) Lorazepam (.5mg) (2x), & Neurontin (800mg) (4-5x). To help sleep she takes 1-2 Ambien CR. I give her all her meds daily.
She has major problems with addiction to the Neurontin & Loratab & finally I put it all in a firesafe with combination lock-- she figured out how to access all the other locked methods but this. Now she tries to manipulate me to getting extra meds.
How do I know when she is having a really bad pain day vs. addiction demands. Is it wrong to give her an extra pill or 2 on bad days?
She says I'm controlling, but I've seen that she has no control herself over her meds (a month ago-- before I bought the lock box), she went thru 90 Loratabs in a week or less (she's done the same thing with Neurontin.
This is tearing up our marriage & we can't afford a detox center (ins. won't cover it).
A little over a year ago (when I first discovered her addiction problems) she took tons of pill in a suicide attempt. I know (at least I think I know) she has very real sciatic nerve pain, but I don't know what to do.
Someone please help!
She has major problems with addiction to the Neurontin & Loratab & finally I put it all in a firesafe with combination lock-- she figured out how to access all the other locked methods but this. Now she tries to manipulate me to getting extra meds.
How do I know when she is having a really bad pain day vs. addiction demands. Is it wrong to give her an extra pill or 2 on bad days?
She says I'm controlling, but I've seen that she has no control herself over her meds (a month ago-- before I bought the lock box), she went thru 90 Loratabs in a week or less (she's done the same thing with Neurontin.
This is tearing up our marriage & we can't afford a detox center (ins. won't cover it).
A little over a year ago (when I first discovered her addiction problems) she took tons of pill in a suicide attempt. I know (at least I think I know) she has very real sciatic nerve pain, but I don't know what to do.
Someone please help!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,464
Hi and Welcome,
In my opinion, you should not put yourself in the position of trying to control your wife's addiction. Is your wife seeking help? You might want to check out the Friends and Families of Substance Abusers on this message board. You'll find lots of support and information there.
In my opinion, you should not put yourself in the position of trying to control your wife's addiction. Is your wife seeking help? You might want to check out the Friends and Families of Substance Abusers on this message board. You'll find lots of support and information there.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: tennessee
Posts: 592
WTF
does this doctor know shes had trouble in the past.I dont think it dose any good to hide pills from an addict.If they want them they'll get them.She went through 90 in less than a week ,her pain must have been pretty bad that week. From what you say you got some of this figured out.Help will not come till she wants it.Imho.Hell I hurt everyday but I am an addict and if one is good two are better and I'll take three just to make sure.
does this doctor know shes had trouble in the past.I dont think it dose any good to hide pills from an addict.If they want them they'll get them.She went through 90 in less than a week ,her pain must have been pretty bad that week. From what you say you got some of this figured out.Help will not come till she wants it.Imho.Hell I hurt everyday but I am an addict and if one is good two are better and I'll take three just to make sure.
I pulled off your wings ...
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: United Kingdom (Im already there in mind)
Posts: 475
Originally Posted by hart-ake 
My wife & I are in our mid 40s. She's had 2 back surgeries & continues to have pain down a leg (because of sciatic nerve). She's on Loratab (10mg) x4 (per day) Lorazepam (.5mg) (2x), & Neurontin (800mg) (4-5x). To help sleep she takes 1-2 Ambien CR. I give her all her meds daily.
She has major problems with addiction to the Neurontin & Loratab & finally I put it all in a firesafe with combination lock-- she figured out how to access all the other locked methods but this. Now she tries to manipulate me to getting extra meds.
How do I know when she is having a really bad pain day vs. addiction demands. Is it wrong to give her an extra pill or 2 on bad days?
She says I'm controlling, but I've seen that she has no control herself over her meds (a month ago-- before I bought the lock box), she went thru 90 Loratabs in a week or less (she's done the same thing with Neurontin.
This is tearing up our marriage & we can't afford a detox center (ins. won't cover it).
A little over a year ago (when I first discovered her addiction problems) she took tons of pill in a suicide attempt. I know (at least I think I know) she has very real sciatic nerve pain, but I don't know what to do.
Someone please help!
She has major problems with addiction to the Neurontin & Loratab & finally I put it all in a firesafe with combination lock-- she figured out how to access all the other locked methods but this. Now she tries to manipulate me to getting extra meds.
How do I know when she is having a really bad pain day vs. addiction demands. Is it wrong to give her an extra pill or 2 on bad days?
She says I'm controlling, but I've seen that she has no control herself over her meds (a month ago-- before I bought the lock box), she went thru 90 Loratabs in a week or less (she's done the same thing with Neurontin.
This is tearing up our marriage & we can't afford a detox center (ins. won't cover it).
A little over a year ago (when I first discovered her addiction problems) she took tons of pill in a suicide attempt. I know (at least I think I know) she has very real sciatic nerve pain, but I don't know what to do.
Someone please help!
First off let me welcome you. Secondly let me say that being a former abuser of narcotics I will say this. There is no doubt your wife has pain , but I had pain as well thats why I was able to get Vic's and Xanex.... I cant diagnose her but I will say from my standpoint that the body when it is withdrawing is in great amounts of pain and thats how the abuser knows they need more and more , plus her body is getting tolerant of the meds so her mg's need to be upped everytime.
She is using a big combo of drugs I see from what you listed. Everyday for her is a bad day ... trust me. If shes not getting as much drugs as she needs its a bad day and its hard for you to know when she "really" needs it.
I would say have her stay on her prescribed doses.... and speak to her doctor next time she sees him.
If the pain is that bad she should be seeing her doc... if she doesnt want to then you know its the disease talking.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2
Thanks for the input. I'll check out some of the other support threads. My wife knows she has a problem but goes in/out of denile (depending, I'm sure, on how bad she wants more meds). I do believe that she has real back pain and it effects her life in many ways & sometimes (even with meds) keeps her from doing the things she'd like to do. So I think that some meds (as perscribed) can help reduce her pain.
If I don't dish out the meds, however, she takes them all in a very short period of time & then has nothing until the refill comes along (during, which time, she is in pain & probably withdrawl & looks for other types of meds or-- on a rare occasion-- alcohol).
Her Dr. is a customer of mine & he knows she's had some struggles (but he doesn't know the extent). He knows that I lock up the meds. I'm afraid that if we tell him the extent of the problem that he'll withold meds when I believe that she may really need some. Any thoughts on this?
Also, if the body gets tolerance to the meds & needs more, what's the answer on controlling chronic pain?
If I force her to stick to perscribed meds will her body eventually feel better (less pain) with the lower amount or will she always need more?
Sorry for all the questions, but I feel a ton of weight on my shoulders. I love my wife but sometimes the deceit, arguing, & stress is almost too much. I know, however, that if I left her she really would end her life. I'm the only thing keeping somewhat on track.
Thanks for all the help.
If I don't dish out the meds, however, she takes them all in a very short period of time & then has nothing until the refill comes along (during, which time, she is in pain & probably withdrawl & looks for other types of meds or-- on a rare occasion-- alcohol).
Her Dr. is a customer of mine & he knows she's had some struggles (but he doesn't know the extent). He knows that I lock up the meds. I'm afraid that if we tell him the extent of the problem that he'll withold meds when I believe that she may really need some. Any thoughts on this?
Also, if the body gets tolerance to the meds & needs more, what's the answer on controlling chronic pain?
If I force her to stick to perscribed meds will her body eventually feel better (less pain) with the lower amount or will she always need more?
Sorry for all the questions, but I feel a ton of weight on my shoulders. I love my wife but sometimes the deceit, arguing, & stress is almost too much. I know, however, that if I left her she really would end her life. I'm the only thing keeping somewhat on track.
Thanks for all the help.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: tennessee
Posts: 592
If your going to controll the meds stick to directions just say here you get another in six hours no matter what.We know just how to handle earth people if you will feel sorry for us all the easier it will be.If she says she got to have more tell her talk to the doctor.dont cave that is not going to help her You give her two extra a day thats 50% more than she should be taking gonna be a bitch to come off loratabs alone not to mention all that other crap and she sure dont need to be drinking on loratabs.
I pulled off your wings ...
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: United Kingdom (Im already there in mind)
Posts: 475
Originally Posted by hart-ake
Thanks for the input. I'll check out some of the other support threads. My wife knows she has a problem but goes in/out of denile (depending, I'm sure, on how bad she wants more meds). I do believe that she has real back pain and it effects her life in many ways & sometimes (even with meds) keeps her from doing the things she'd like to do. So I think that some meds (as perscribed) can help reduce her pain.
If I don't dish out the meds, however, she takes them all in a very short period of time & then has nothing until the refill comes along (during, which time, she is in pain & probably withdrawl & looks for other types of meds or-- on a rare occasion-- alcohol).
Her Dr. is a customer of mine & he knows she's had some struggles (but he doesn't know the extent). He knows that I lock up the meds. I'm afraid that if we tell him the extent of the problem that he'll withold meds when I believe that she may really need some. Any thoughts on this?
Also, if the body gets tolerance to the meds & needs more, what's the answer on controlling chronic pain?
If I force her to stick to perscribed meds will her body eventually feel better (less pain) with the lower amount or will she always need more?
Sorry for all the questions, but I feel a ton of weight on my shoulders. I love my wife but sometimes the deceit, arguing, & stress is almost too much. I know, however, that if I left her she really would end her life. I'm the only thing keeping somewhat on track.
Thanks for all the help.
If I don't dish out the meds, however, she takes them all in a very short period of time & then has nothing until the refill comes along (during, which time, she is in pain & probably withdrawl & looks for other types of meds or-- on a rare occasion-- alcohol).
Her Dr. is a customer of mine & he knows she's had some struggles (but he doesn't know the extent). He knows that I lock up the meds. I'm afraid that if we tell him the extent of the problem that he'll withold meds when I believe that she may really need some. Any thoughts on this?
Also, if the body gets tolerance to the meds & needs more, what's the answer on controlling chronic pain?
If I force her to stick to perscribed meds will her body eventually feel better (less pain) with the lower amount or will she always need more?
Sorry for all the questions, but I feel a ton of weight on my shoulders. I love my wife but sometimes the deceit, arguing, & stress is almost too much. I know, however, that if I left her she really would end her life. I'm the only thing keeping somewhat on track.
Thanks for all the help.
if your controlling the meds like bagger said be firm with her. I understand it must hurt her but if it hurts that bad then maybe she needs to go to a pain management doctor to help cope with her pain as well. Because pain meds are only short term, the doctor will not give them to her forever.
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