Daisy1975

I hope this is ok to post here, I wasn't quite sure where else to post it. I have maintained 4 days of absoluetly no alcohol and no cocaine. Up until this evening I was feeling pretty good. I came home from working a temp job and I had a message on my home phone from a person from my past. This person is a man that I had a short and abusive relationship with in my early twenties. It was kind of a rebound thing when I was apart from my ex for a few weeks. Long story short, this man stalked me, vandalized my vehicle twice and made my life a scary living hell for months. The police did nothing to help me as I could never prove it was this man that was doing these things to me.

After moving and going to great pains to stay hidden (all my utilities were in my ex's name for years) I thought I had stopped leaving a crumb trail for him to follow. I have not thought about this person in years. I could only hope he moved on and found someone else to bother. Tonight I have a message from him on my home phone and I am terrified and feel completely violated. I can only assume he has done some searching on the internet and somehow located me through public records. If he has located my home phone, I am sure he has my address and whatever else he could want too! It makes me so angry that the internet has all these sites where people with harmful intentions can find people who don't want them finding them! My home number is even unlisted!

I live alone in a new city and feel scared. I just moved here the beginning of June and don't have any friends. I haven't called him back - of course my voice message has my voice on it so he is probably ecstatic he found the right person. I am just hoping that I can make it through this evening without drinking. I am angry this person feels they have the right to call me, but I am also trying to use that anger to not let him help me relapse too.

Sorry for the long post, thanks so much for letting me vent here!

Live

That's very scary.

laurie6781

As you are in the Denver area, call the Domestic Violence Shelter NOW!!!! Immediately!

They will give you help and guidance and excellent advice. Easiest way to get the number is to call the police they will either transfer the call or give you the number to the Shelter. Don't know in Denver if it's called the Women's Shelter or Domestic Violence Shelter.


CALL NOW.

Love and hugs,

SLF35

Not calling the police and nearby friends would be a mistake. This man has an illness, just like me & you, only with something different. And I'm sure the odds are not in your favor that he's in recovery, or getting some help for himself. Misery loves company! Please, call someone. Good luck & be safe. SLF35

igetallnumb

Yes please call someone like the cops or domestic violence hotline
Im sorry your in this scary situation.
But you need to tell someone

Daisy1975

Thanks everyone for listening and for the advice. I did contact a local domestic violence shelter (thanks Denver for having so many!) and got some helpful advice and suggestions from one of the counselors there on what I can do. I have calmed myself down and plan to keep my ears and eyes open. I'm going to let my anger about this person contacting me work for me and not against me. I shouldn't have to feel scared in my own home and won't!

I also will not let this situation persuade me to go and buy a bottle of wine and text my dealer tonight!

igetallnumb

exactly dont let it effect you that way and you should never have to be made to feel scared in your own home
your home is your safe place...

GlassPrisoner

Good. In the slim chance that something bad DOES happen, you wanty your wits about you.

Lock the door. If you go out, pay attention to what's going on around you. Stay in public places where possible.....an AA meeting would be a good place to go *hint*

IO Storm

Glass P is right..keep your wits about you! Now is not the time to numb out...

An address can be easily obtained from public records..but I do not know how he

got an unlisted number...

Please take all advice given you by the DV facility and police..

And good luck!

Love,

IO

Change4life

Daisygirl call the police.

You dont need to present any evidence. IF he comes around call the police immediately and tell them he is trespassing. Never voluntarily let him in. You know he may try to sweet talk you into letting him come in and talk for awhile, bu once hes behind that locked door you safety went out the window.

If you have any documentation regarding past stalking or any police reports varifiyng the police were invoved in any way. You might want to tyr and get a restraining order.

KEEP YOURSELF SEAFE

barb dwyer

I have exp with this and the Denver police - they're very very attentive.

You need to get a report made and on file with them. They'll even (usually) send someone TO you , if you're too worried about going out.

Remember to keep posting so we know you're okay.

and you're right - there is NO man worth using over.

barb dwyer

they have to have the documentation so they can nab him. Make sure make SURE they get it, hon.
Print your first post , edit it a bit and take that to them for the report. Just include his name, previous locations, towns, and all that.
If he's hassled YOU ... he's hassled others.
If he's hurt you ... he's hurt others.
And he will again and again because he's gotten away with it.

Document, document, document.

That's how they can compile enough to go get someone like him.

Daisy1975

Just an update. I did learn that although I was told when I set up the service that I have an unlisted number from the phone company (new number the beginning of June!) my number is indeed LISTED! I checked myself by doing a few searches on the net and there it was! Again I hate that the internet makes personal information so easily accessible. This will be changed when I can get those damn phone people on the line and thank them for this. Arghhh!

I also learned that this person does not live in the same state I do any longer. That doesn't make me feel 100% better - but better. He has been contacted and told his phone call to me is unwanted and that if he persists - police action will be taken against him. I can only hope he will go away.

I have plans to attend two meetings this weekend - here close to home. Couldn't come at a better time. Thanks everyone for the support, advice and kindness. Whew, now I hope I can finally get some sleep.

Daisy1975

Don't worry I would never let him in my building. Lucky for me too, I am in a fairly secured building - one of us five tenants has to physically come down to the front door to let guests in. It's an old restored mansion. I told the other tenants here about the situation & that I was feeling scared and they were very nice. It's two other couples here & they said they would keep their eyes open for any strange happenings or anyone asking anything about me. I feel good knowing they are looking out for me too.

Daisy1975

You are so right and I did provide all of this information to the police this evening. I felt so much better just making the call even if this jerk goes away and leaves me alone. At least there will be a record of his harrassment.

barb dwyer

thanks for posting.

good to hear about the meetings, too.

Daisy1975

I just wanted to update everyone here that I received confirmation today that as of last Friday - the person that was harrassing me is now incarcerated in a federal facility in another state (for a separate felony offense). I am soooo relieved. If he tries to contact me again the call will come from the facility and be identified ahead of time and I can report it.

I wanted to say thank you again to everyone who offered me support here (and helped me stay sober) during that difficult time!

Daisy

barb dwyer

****{daisy}}} that is so good to hear!

Daisy1975

I know! I was jumping up and down!

barb dwyer

I know exactly how it feels - like someone has pulled a dark awning from across the top of your head.

That's great to hear !!!