Yasmin1970

Hi folks,

It's late Friday evening up my neck of the woods and I am feeling terrible at the moment.

Don't know what is going on with me today but I feel as though I have alienated myself from everyone. My husband is being wonderful but I just can't shake this feeling. The fact that he is being wonderful probably makes me feel worse actually, but I just don't know where to go from here ?

I know that none of you can give me the answers but how do I start to face people again ??? I feel so ashamed of myself for just about everything I have done when drunk... through the years, but of course terrible about the situation that caused me to wake up and smell the coffee.

Right now... I feel safe if someone had said to me... Yasmin, you don't ever have to leave the house again.

I do NOT want to drink however, so I guess that's good. Haven't had anything but water and coffee enter my lips since last Sunday morning.( very little food )

How have you good people been able to face up to it all ??? I can't wait to go to my next AA meeting ...it's the one good thing that lies ahead + the fact that my husband still wants me in his life.

What a mess... I am a mess !!!

Peace,
Yasmin

Astro

Hi Yasmin,

AA is what works for me, I hope you'll continue going. Embracing the 12 Steps as a way of life has freed me from the bondage of myself and my past, the Fellowship of AA has given me a rich life and so many true friends. Life isn't perfect, but working a program gives me the tools to face life on life's terms, not mine.

You don't sound like a mess to me. Staying sober and having an awareness about this disease is a healthy start on the road to recovery;-)

GlassPrisoner

Yup. Keep going, those fears will subside. You'll get your Hope back, and gain a little self-esteeem.

I know where you are. I've been there. I just wanted to shut the lights off, go into room and hide under the covers for the rest of my (hopefully short) life....

baggervance

Old timer told me when you were drunk you didn't care where you went or who saw you now that you are tryin to sober up you dont want them to seeyou. I was same way just hide out in the house not see or talk to anyone. This is normal I think many people have that in first few weeks. Go to your meetings share your feelings that is what your freinds are there for.

Anna

Yasmin, have you tried journalling?

I really struggled with the guilt and shame for a very long time. A wonderful lady I met here at SR suggested writing down everything I was feeling. I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to see things written in black and white, but I couldn't get past my feelings. Eventually I began to write and continued writing for most of a year. It really, really helped. When I was finished writing, I burned the journal and continued to move forward.

You can get through this Yasmin.

Rowan

It does get better, Yasmin. Try not to project too far into the future. You're doing great. You may wish to eat something though, even if you don't feel you have much of an appetite.

GlassPrisoner

Good point. When the acute de-tox was over, I found that I couild snack. Once I got a little something in my stomach, it acted like an appetizer. I still kept my meals small though, and "grazed" instead of binging.

After a while, your appetite will come back with a venagence. After 2-3 months, I actually started ENJOYING food again.

Cindys10

We have all been to that place where regret our actions while drinking. Hold you head up, and know you do not have to go there again. Actions speak louder than words!

indigo

Yes it does get better Yasmin, follow your path to sobriety and it pays dividends, being sober really gives us our live's back. Here's to a new life for you, a real one!

barb dwyer

just keep remembering that most of the anxiety ... is the body starting to get rid of all the poison ... and little systems, trying to get back on line from being anesthetized (-sp).

that really helped me to remember that.