hello all....
trying to get it..
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: California
Posts: 286
hello all....
Hello all...my name is carl....and I am what I am and that is, a functional alcoholic... I have been to a therapist....one on one..over several months....do I drink because I am depressed. Does the drinking make me depressed...chicken or the egg....? I have great job, family etc....but I cannot get to the nub..it has taken me 15 minutes to type this message because I have the shakes so bad...I have not had a drink since yesterday afternoon.....I have been missing work and frankly, I am beggining to think my co-workers suspect...something is up.....
I would like to come clean with my boss...but I don’t want to taint my relationship with him and/or my co-workers....can some share their thoughts on that?
I would like to come clean with my boss...but I don’t want to taint my relationship with him and/or my co-workers....can some share their thoughts on that?
Last edited by carl11; 07-25-2007 at 01:21 PM.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,047
Just my experience only, but I found that honesty opened up my world. First I was honest with myself about my disease, then I ratted myself out to everyone else. I've had the same career for 12 years, my boss and co-workers have loved and supported me through the 2 1/2 years of recovery I've had, and continue to do so.
trying to get it..
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: California
Posts: 286
Originally Posted by Astro 
Just my experience only, but I found that honesty opened up my world. First I was honest with myself about my disease, then I ratted myself out to everyone else. I've had the same career for 12 years, my boss and co-workers have loved and supported me through the 2 1/2 years of recovery I've had, and continue to do so.
thank you astro....but I am not sure I can or want to deal with that in addition to the obvios issue I am having...I do admit I am powerless....I am.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: CA
Posts: 7
Hi Carl11
When I finally decided to get sober I let my boss and a couple of key co-workers know. Actually the support I received from them was exceptional. I also considered myself a functioning alcoholic but to be frank I think it was already quite apparent (to my co-workers) that something was up with me. I would have the shakes all the time at work and it was very hard to hide that from those folks. I think they already suspected there was an issue. Anyway, their support in the process has been a real key to my sobriety. It's a group of people I really don't want to let down. By the way, once sober I realized that I was not performing my job to the best of my ability...I was just biding my time until I could have that next drink. I perform my job better than ever now and people notice! Be as honest as you can if you trust the people and the situation. My 2 cents.
D
When I finally decided to get sober I let my boss and a couple of key co-workers know. Actually the support I received from them was exceptional. I also considered myself a functioning alcoholic but to be frank I think it was already quite apparent (to my co-workers) that something was up with me. I would have the shakes all the time at work and it was very hard to hide that from those folks. I think they already suspected there was an issue. Anyway, their support in the process has been a real key to my sobriety. It's a group of people I really don't want to let down. By the way, once sober I realized that I was not performing my job to the best of my ability...I was just biding my time until I could have that next drink. I perform my job better than ever now and people notice! Be as honest as you can if you trust the people and the situation. My 2 cents.
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,496
I am glad you found us and you are looking for help.
When I decided to stop drinking, I told almost no one outside of my immediate family. And, I haven't regretted that decision for a moment. In my opinion, there is a lot of prejudice against alcoholics and I think people don't understand or accept that it is a disease. I felt that I wanted to be very careful in who I shared that information with.
When I decided to stop drinking, I told almost no one outside of my immediate family. And, I haven't regretted that decision for a moment. In my opinion, there is a lot of prejudice against alcoholics and I think people don't understand or accept that it is a disease. I felt that I wanted to be very careful in who I shared that information with.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Carl,
Like you I thought it was a big secret. Especially from my family, who lived 2000 miles away from me. When I started AA I confided in a few friends, and found out that they, as well collegues, customers, and family all knew or suspected I had some issues with alcohol.
I also had very positive experiences with support from all these people. Do what you have to do, there is plenty of support here and I think you will find it in your personal life as well.
Like you I thought it was a big secret. Especially from my family, who lived 2000 miles away from me. When I started AA I confided in a few friends, and found out that they, as well collegues, customers, and family all knew or suspected I had some issues with alcohol.
I also had very positive experiences with support from all these people. Do what you have to do, there is plenty of support here and I think you will find it in your personal life as well.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 94
Hey Carl, Imcoming out of a HORRIBLE relapse so im feelin pretty rough. I must tell you tho,nowadays I can tell EVERYONE I am an alcoholic(recovering of course),
I am upfront with potential employers people I meet etc.It is incredibly freeing to be
able to (practically)unabashadly admit it to anyone.Youd be surprised how many people show support and acceptance and dont seem to be too bothered by it!!!
Hang in there!Sounds like yer headed down the right road.Hey Czgill, sorry if I sounded a little cranky back there!Peace Out All
I am upfront with potential employers people I meet etc.It is incredibly freeing to be
able to (practically)unabashadly admit it to anyone.Youd be surprised how many people show support and acceptance and dont seem to be too bothered by it!!!
Hang in there!Sounds like yer headed down the right road.Hey Czgill, sorry if I sounded a little cranky back there!Peace Out All
trying to get it..
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: California
Posts: 286
Thank you all....I just finished a 20 minute conversation with my team leader, not my overall manager...she was, indeed very supportive and allayed my anxiety regards missed work etc..(anxiety had me thinking I was going to get canned because I missed 3 days of work...which is the booze talking)......she was supportive and now that she knows, I’ll have someone at work that I can talk too...frankly it was a relief....I respect her immensely and her opinion/sppt. mean’s a lot to me....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
That took courage, Carl. I'm so glad that she was supportive.
So, what's next? I got depressed before I drank, when I drank, and after I sobered up. Today, though, the depression is much more manageable now that I am sober and on medication. I was a high-bottom drunk myself, but we don't need to go all the way to the dump (as we say in AA) in order to get sober and stay that way.
I hope you keep posting. We are glad to have you here with us.
Rowan
So, what's next? I got depressed before I drank, when I drank, and after I sobered up. Today, though, the depression is much more manageable now that I am sober and on medication. I was a high-bottom drunk myself, but we don't need to go all the way to the dump (as we say in AA) in order to get sober and stay that way.
I hope you keep posting. We are glad to have you here with us.
Rowan
trying to get it..
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: California
Posts: 286
Originally Posted by Rowan
That took courage, Carl. I'm so glad that she was supportive.
So, what's next? I got depressed before I drank, when I drank, and after I sobered up. Today, though, the depression is much more manageable now that I am sober and on medication. I was a high-bottom drunk myself, but we don't need to go all the way to the dump (as we say in AA) in order to get sober and stay that way.
I hope you keep posting. We are glad to have you here with us.
Rowan
So, what's next? I got depressed before I drank, when I drank, and after I sobered up. Today, though, the depression is much more manageable now that I am sober and on medication. I was a high-bottom drunk myself, but we don't need to go all the way to the dump (as we say in AA) in order to get sober and stay that way.
I hope you keep posting. We are glad to have you here with us.
Rowan
Thank you Rowan.....and thank you for the welcome...
Whats next is not drinking today......I am the classic weekend drink, from the minute I am home Friday, to Sunday night.....that has spiraled into drinking on the weekdays....I have to break the cycle....and this weekend was the worst yet...is it....I had the shakes so bad Tuesday I had to leave work before someone saw me....it was humiliating.....the next 4-5 days are going to be hell.... I have to break through.
I am going to keep posting.....I need to.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Southwest PA USA
Posts: 339
Hi Carl.
Glad you're here. It does take courage to tell the people at work. What you need to do now is consider getting some help. Does your work have some sort of alcohol treatment that you can enter? Have you considered attending AA meetings?
Look around the forums. There are a lot of folks here that want to help, me included.
Hang in there. Things will get better.
Blessings to you, my friend.
BHJ
Glad you're here. It does take courage to tell the people at work. What you need to do now is consider getting some help. Does your work have some sort of alcohol treatment that you can enter? Have you considered attending AA meetings?
Look around the forums. There are a lot of folks here that want to help, me included.
Hang in there. Things will get better.
Blessings to you, my friend.
BHJ
trying to get it..
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: California
Posts: 286
thank you john
My company thank god has excellent coverage......I found my therapist through their medical provider....yes I have thought of aa......and entering a 30 day facility to detox....my therapist wants to use that only as a last resort....he feels I am not at the point where I need detox or take anti alcoholic formula...
My company thank god has excellent coverage......I found my therapist through their medical provider....yes I have thought of aa......and entering a 30 day facility to detox....my therapist wants to use that only as a last resort....he feels I am not at the point where I need detox or take anti alcoholic formula...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Back in the USA
Posts: 2,661
Carl,
I know the feelin. The shakes. Being at work with the anxiety. Dealing with coworkers who you feel might be on to you.
I for one have been there.
After a weekend binge, I overdid it. I would wake up 3/4am and go to work (starts at 8am), get there by 5am, lock the door, sit in the dark on my computer and post on SR. The anxiety put me in recluse. By 8am I was still a mess. I would go to the restroom and splash cold water on my face, sit in a stall for a while. My day was not very productive at all.
If I had a meeting to go to on the job, I would sit in silence. Not very attentive. Watching the clock, waiting for it to be over. If asked a question, I wasnt all there. I put up a terrific front as if nothing was wrong. Especially when someone walks into my office. They left with the impression I was well on top of things. Inside, I was terrified, shaky, bewildered, panicky. What a bad way to live.
Thank goodness for SR. The reading and posting helped a great deal while I was 'coming down' from a binge. Even at work, I would sneak in some reading and posting. If someone walked in on me, I would change my screen to work related view.
Geez, I was faking it.
The panic/anxiety comes and goes still, but not nearly as bad as it used to be.
Hang in there, Carl.
You'll get better.
Intro
I know the feelin. The shakes. Being at work with the anxiety. Dealing with coworkers who you feel might be on to you.
I for one have been there.
After a weekend binge, I overdid it. I would wake up 3/4am and go to work (starts at 8am), get there by 5am, lock the door, sit in the dark on my computer and post on SR. The anxiety put me in recluse. By 8am I was still a mess. I would go to the restroom and splash cold water on my face, sit in a stall for a while. My day was not very productive at all.
If I had a meeting to go to on the job, I would sit in silence. Not very attentive. Watching the clock, waiting for it to be over. If asked a question, I wasnt all there. I put up a terrific front as if nothing was wrong. Especially when someone walks into my office. They left with the impression I was well on top of things. Inside, I was terrified, shaky, bewildered, panicky. What a bad way to live.
Thank goodness for SR. The reading and posting helped a great deal while I was 'coming down' from a binge. Even at work, I would sneak in some reading and posting. If someone walked in on me, I would change my screen to work related view.
Geez, I was faking it.
The panic/anxiety comes and goes still, but not nearly as bad as it used to be.
Hang in there, Carl.
You'll get better.
Intro
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Southwest PA USA
Posts: 339
Originally Posted by carl11
thank you john
My company thank god has excellent coverage......I found my therapist through their medical provider....yes I have thought of aa......and entering a 30 day facility to detox....my therapist wants to use that only as a last resort....he feels I am not at the point where I need detox or take anti alcoholic formula...
My company thank god has excellent coverage......I found my therapist through their medical provider....yes I have thought of aa......and entering a 30 day facility to detox....my therapist wants to use that only as a last resort....he feels I am not at the point where I need detox or take anti alcoholic formula...
In my opinion, therapists have limitations. Does he have experience with alcoholism?
There is a certain jumping-off point where you need to decide what's best for you. Therapy in conbination with abstinence can be a helpful thing. One thing I can tell you from my personal experience is that trying to taper off didn't work. No amount of controlled drinking I tried worked for very long. Usually under 2 days. Quitting the booze entirely is my first step towards recovery.
My best to you, my friend.
BHJ
trying to get it..
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: California
Posts: 286
wow
Originally Posted by Introvrtd1
Carl,
I know the feelin. The shakes. Being at work with the anxiety. Dealing with coworkers who you feel might be on to you.
I for one have been there.
After a weekend binge, I overdid it. I would wake up 3/4am and go to work (starts at 8am), get there by 5am, lock the door, sit in the dark on my computer and post on SR. The anxiety put me in recluse. By 8am I was still a mess. I would go to the restroom and splash cold water on my face, sit in a stall for a while. My day was not very productive at all.
If I had a meeting to go to on the job, I would sit in silence. Not very attentive. Watching the clock, waiting for it to be over. If asked a question, I wasnt all there. I put up a terrific front as if nothing was wrong. Especially when someone walks into my office. They left with the impression I was well on top of things. Inside, I was terrified, shaky, bewildered, panicky. What a bad way to live.
Thank goodness for SR. The reading and posting helped a great deal while I was 'coming down' from a binge. Even at work, I would sneak in some reading and posting. If someone walked in on me, I would change my screen to work related view.
Geez, I was faking it.
The panic/anxiety comes and goes still, but not nearly as bad as it used to be.
Hang in there, Carl.
You'll get better.
Intro
I know the feelin. The shakes. Being at work with the anxiety. Dealing with coworkers who you feel might be on to you.
I for one have been there.
After a weekend binge, I overdid it. I would wake up 3/4am and go to work (starts at 8am), get there by 5am, lock the door, sit in the dark on my computer and post on SR. The anxiety put me in recluse. By 8am I was still a mess. I would go to the restroom and splash cold water on my face, sit in a stall for a while. My day was not very productive at all.
If I had a meeting to go to on the job, I would sit in silence. Not very attentive. Watching the clock, waiting for it to be over. If asked a question, I wasnt all there. I put up a terrific front as if nothing was wrong. Especially when someone walks into my office. They left with the impression I was well on top of things. Inside, I was terrified, shaky, bewildered, panicky. What a bad way to live.
Thank goodness for SR. The reading and posting helped a great deal while I was 'coming down' from a binge. Even at work, I would sneak in some reading and posting. If someone walked in on me, I would change my screen to work related view.
Geez, I was faking it.
The panic/anxiety comes and goes still, but not nearly as bad as it used to be.
Hang in there, Carl.
You'll get better.
Intro
Inside, I was terrified, shaky, bewildered, panicky
my god you have been there....thx for sharing that......
trying to get it..
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: California
Posts: 286
Originally Posted by BaldHeadedJohn
Does he feel that you're at the point where you need to stop drinking? More importantly, do YOU feel you're at that point??
In my opinion, therapists have limitations. Does he have experience with alcoholism?
There is a certain jumping-off point where you need to decide what's best for you. Therapy in conbination with abstinence can be a helpful thing. One thing I can tell you from my personal experience is that trying to taper off didn't work. No amount of controlled drinking I tried worked for very long. Usually under 2 days. Quitting the booze entirely is my first step towards recovery.
My best to you, my friend.
BHJ
In my opinion, therapists have limitations. Does he have experience with alcoholism?
There is a certain jumping-off point where you need to decide what's best for you. Therapy in conbination with abstinence can be a helpful thing. One thing I can tell you from my personal experience is that trying to taper off didn't work. No amount of controlled drinking I tried worked for very long. Usually under 2 days. Quitting the booze entirely is my first step towards recovery.
My best to you, my friend.
BHJ
Yes he is....and he has recently asked me to make an earnest effort...and yea, yes he has experience with alcoholism... He agrees re: abstinence. I have tried leveling down but can’t make to Sundays....I think I am a jump off point where I can...start....talking with my team leader at work...was a confession in and of itself to her and to my self....drinking has become just something to do....and its killing me.....I am so shaky it literally took me 10 miniutes to type this...and I don’t think I can sleep tonight...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Southwest PA USA
Posts: 339
Originally Posted by carl11
Yes he is....and he has recently asked me to make an earnest effort...and yea, yes he has experience with alcoholism... He agrees re: abstinence. I have tried leveling down but can’t make to Sundays....I think I am a jump off point where I can...start....talking with my team leader at work...was a confession in and of itself to her and to my self....drinking has become just something to do....and its killing me.....I am so shaky it literally took me 10 miniutes to type this...and I don’t think I can sleep tonight...
Booze was killing me, too. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I glad for you that you're seeking help. We all had to take that first step.
Blessings and prayers to you, my friend.
BHJ
No more merlot, more mamma
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hills, Ct
Posts: 2,139
hi Carl,
You must work at a really great place..I made the mistake of revealing that I had stopped drinking to my manager at work, and I lost my job a few months later..I have to think that my revelation had something to do with it..I'm glad that didn't happen to you. I tend to agree with Anna on this one.
However, I did tell my immediate family, and my best friends. They have all been extremely supportive and it helps to know that if I relapse, I let them down along with myself.
Glad that you are here...keep going!
Karen
You must work at a really great place..I made the mistake of revealing that I had stopped drinking to my manager at work, and I lost my job a few months later..I have to think that my revelation had something to do with it..I'm glad that didn't happen to you. I tend to agree with Anna on this one.
However, I did tell my immediate family, and my best friends. They have all been extremely supportive and it helps to know that if I relapse, I let them down along with myself.
Glad that you are here...keep going!
Karen
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