msh58

i ended up practising it all day. hauling myself back into the moment i was standing in. The only thing i seem to have control over actionwise.

never realized how often i look ahead in the day or week.

I've been in this cycle where i look ahead at a later part of the day or another day of the week and cave mentally and then end up boozing now since i will then anyway, why wait? i caved a dozen times mentally today, did my best to slow down whatever it was i was doing at time, to get some control and till the craving passed But then the next time showed up and i did it again. Hard thing to learn to do well i think for me at least.

that was my day. All i did was cave mentally and then get over it seems.

Its after midnight so i made it through the day sober.

recovery wise i'm working off of the SMART recovery recommended book list these days, just seeing what i can learn. Got two of the books today from the library, truth about addiction and recovery by peele and rational steps to quitting alcohol by ellis. that last book is about rational emotive therapy, the ABC tool they mention at that website. Should keep me occupied for a couple weeks learning those.

hope your day was good, but i'm really curious what you were working on recovery wise today and how it went. Hope it was real good for you, today was rough for me.

Spiritual Seeker

The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle I liked listening to the CD audio version in my car. But it is avail. in paperback and at the library. This week I am trying to work on accepting reality and not being sad.My AS is M.I.A. which makes me very sad. He had been estranged but we did talk once in a while and I knew where he lived and worked. Now I know nothing. I thought I had learned to deal but this missing part makes it more difficult.
So glad to hear you stayed sober today. If you can do that one day at a time (which is all we have anyway.) When you are struggling mentally do you go to mtgs. or call a sponsor or sober mentor? Good luck

crayola

Boy, can I relate to that! My problem is looking ahead to a sober weekend - eee, that's scary! Even looking forward to being sober tonight is - alcohol fills the time so well. Planning to rent a movie after work and some very naughty ice cream or something as a "reward" - when I drink it seems all I eat for dinner is spicy foods (the better to drink with). Looking forward to something different on the menu Best of luck, and thanks so much for this post - it's a great thing to consider!

Rowan

I think staying in the moment is really important, especially if you find that you're always thinking ahead and obsessing about the drink.

Can you get to f2f meetings with Smart? I think it's a good program, but there don't seem to be many meetings. For me, I read a lot of books about alcoholism and did stepwork in workbooks, but I still isolated and felt terribly lonely. Going to AA and hearing other people share their own experiences has been vital to my recovery.

It's very difficult to stop drinking and to stay stopped, but it's especially difficult if you are doing it without help. This has been my experience anyway.

Just because you cave mentally doesn't mean it has to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's still possible to get past that and NOT drink. You can break this cycle, especially since you are able to see it as it happens.

I hope you keep posting. We do understand.

Rowan

GlassPrisoner

Right here, right now.

Yesterday is gone and tommorrow's not here yet.

It's difficult for me at times, but yeah, it works.

stone

Staying in the moment is how I try to live now. I feel much happier this way whether having a bad day or a good one.

msh58

thanks all

no i'm not going meetings at the moment. Just been coming here each night to talk about this recovery stuff.

scaredykat

I have also been working on staying in the moment. Sometimes it does get hard. Tomorrow is going to be a stressful day. But I've tried not to think about it and concentrate on myself and my program in today.

Barb