Change4life

im still on the merry-go-round.

im sitting here with an open beer. I want to go see my mom. I need rest. I need someone to just haul me off somewhere anywhere that I can just take a break.

When I was in rehab i became friends with one of the nurses. I have her cell # and Im going to call her when she gets out of work.

She might be able to help me. She is one of the only people I ever been able to talk to besides my friend lynn. I dont know what if anything she can do, but I know her hubby is in the program maybe he will be willing to take me to a meeting or just talk.

Change4life

Anvilhead. I thnk I will make this the first and last beer for now.

I am looking into finding a meeting by my house for tonight.

The booze does nothing, but make me sick anymore.

I keep making the wrong decisions, but it doesnt have to keep being that way I guess. I have a bad head and I am letting it get the best of me.

Change4life

I threw the beer away

GlassPrisoner

(((((BIG BIG HUG)))))))

Ditto

Change4life

I went on th AA website and it doesnt post locations of meetings. i have to go do some investigating. I use to have a list I wrote up with all the meetings near me and the times, but I cant find it. Im panicking cause I know if I dont get there today I might not get there at all.

I neeed some #'s so I need to get to a meeting. I cant do this alone anymore.

Dee74

Beth I'm not an AA guy but I just found this page on the AA site...just call your nearby central office apparently..organised by state

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/....cfm?PageID=29

D

Change4life

Thank you anvilhead and Dee. I found an 800#. Im calling now

Dee74

kewl.
D

Change4life

I have an hour to wait before I go and i dont know what to do with myself now or when I get there.

FallGirl

Keep posting, we're still here!

Change4life

Everytime I do go to a meeting I never say anything and walk away with no #'s. I have a pretty good case of social anxiety and Im not sure what I can do differently this time so I finally get some much needed help.

Meanwhile the meeting isnt that close and I have concerns about trying to ride my bike feeling the way I do in this heat.

Im not sure if Im making an excuse for myself or if I should wait till tommarrow when there is a meeting near my house.

I use to ride 12 miles every other day, but I havent put in any lenghty rides recently.

FallGirl

Well I think you should do something... anything but sit at home thinking about drinking/whatever.

I know for me, boredom and solitude are my worst enemies - I need to keep active to keep sober. How far is the meeting?

Change4life

The meeting is 4 towns away, which doesnt sound like much if you have a ride.

I just found my meeting list and there is a meeting a block from my house if I can hold out till tommarrow.

Boredom has always been a trigger for me also. I cant take the quiet either it drives me nuts, or you might say it drives me to drink. I havent eaten and I am tired so im thinking I should eat and go to bed early. wake up tommarrow go to work and before I know it. it will be meeting time. I am just not sure what to do.

stone

If you are worried you might get bored then perhaps you should try and go Beth. If you think you can get some sleep and not drink then maybe do that.

Whatever you do-just dont drink-just for today.

FallGirl

You're east coast right? so I guess it's almost 8 - eating and going to bed would be a good choice, as long as you won't feel the urge to drink. When I drink I want it to be on an empty stomch (yea - i know its disgusting!) so if you get full maybe the urge will go away - it works for me.

nan07

Beth, at the beginning of the meeting, when they ask if it's anybody's first meeting after a drink, pipe up...you'll get a bunch of numbers from folks, at least that's how it is here. Maybe force yourself to stay afterwards, even just for a little bit and talk with somebody- even if it's just to say you don't reach out well and are isolating. I really hope you'll take a chance and talk with somebody. Hang in there, and good luck! I will be thinking of you.

Change4life

I decided to stay home tonight. NOT drink, eat something and try to sleep althoughthat is nearly impossible for me when I dont drink.

Im not giving up on the meeting I am just on delay since I found out there is a meeting a block from my house tommarrow night.

NAN07 thank you for the advice. I never say anything and now that I think about it I am usually late for everything and that includes the meetings so I neve get to tell anyone I am new.

i know the last meeting I was at they passed meeting books around for people to put #'s in but they only passed around the amount for the people that spoke up in the beginning. since I wasnt there I missed out and I was to shy to say anything about it. Just got on my bike and rode away.

Tommarrow I will make sure to atleast get there on time if not get there early.