well I stuffed up :0( :'0(.....
 

and it hurts no not the physical hangover side of it the fact that I let myself down firtsly then my family ( who I might add have being very kind which makes it worse in a way... Once I started to drink I didnt stop!! it was again that I had become another person and I hate it. I know the drill get up start at day one again and I will but Im so bloody scared I said to hubby if I go down the path I was going with my drinking I want to be dead and I ment it. I loved the sober days yesterday was a complete right off as I was too p***ed to do anything and today wont be much better while I recover. Im so scared and angry at the same time Im dont want to feel the urge to drink and in truth I could of fought it yesterday I just didnt want to. Im a stuiped ignorant dumb woman!!! and hopefully last night gave me a fright to realise that Im not over nor will I ever be over this dreadful disease...
*sniff* I need a cyber hugs and I think Ill lurk here most of the day
:'0( Ang

ang, dont beat yourself up too bad...

and yes, alcoholics can be very dumb... stupid too, its called 'Stupidtivity!"

as mentioned, re-drill!

all good wishes ang

xxoo, rz

Thanks ((((())))) im feeling sorry for myself and thankfully the hangover is going. why the hell did I do it I bought a bottle at 12 lunch time then went back and get this to get "little" bottles spent $40 all up I know I should go to AA but Im not good talking to people face to face and well here I can type waffle on get what Im trying to say hiding behind a keyboard
Ang

I'm right there with you girl - I drank last night to. Today sucks - but it can go up from here if we choose to :)
(insert big hug here) Take care!

FallGirl

hugs coming at ya, k

day 1 day 1 today and when I drunk yesterday I got a couple of hours of "good time" before I crashed and thats what us alkies have to remmember is , is it worth it? the hurt the pain both physical the mental is it bloody worth it NO NO NO Gee why cant I have this tattoed on me forehead when I get the urge ..no doubt that damm little voice will be back grr wish I could hit it with a hammer lol. day 1!!!! day 1 I so want to say angie9 has done a 100 days!!

Hi Ang, I was the last person who thought I would ever go to AA but it is helping me, why not just try a few meetings?

Big cyber-hugs hun! I know how you feel.

Hi Angie,

You can do this!

I know it's hard, but you can get through it.

Thanks Anna maybe its good this remorse Im feeling so I remember why Im here. I just feel different this morning like Ive failed in a big way then another part of me says get over yourself wanting symperthy!!!! get off your butt and start again. But Its the fear thats getting to me I dont want to be what I was six months ago!! Im so dam scared!!

I think you will start to feel better when you have a few days sober again Angie, you are prolly still withdrawing or hungover now.
Just get through the next few days and you can look back and learn from this and go onwards and upwards! :)

ang! We're alcoholics, thats what we do. It's a disease. All you can do now is to NOT beat yourself up and be all depressed over it. Just pick up where you left off, because you KNOW you were happier sober right??? And felt great! The booze just doesnt work like it used to. We've all come to that conclusion.
Hugs, and congrats on day 1. I'm glad you've decided to start over :hug: Me too!!

You said that you have support from people, so use it. Don't beat yourself up. I think the guilt should remind you how you felt drinking. By no means don't dwell on it.
Take a deep breathe & please go forward. Use resources.

I went to my first meeting yesterday. I was scared at first. Could not find the room in this big empty church. Then this man came over to me out of nowhere and shook my hand. Introduced himself & I felt an instant calmness. He said that somebody had to show him where the room was too. He has been sober for 4 months. I felt no pressure at all, only sincere support. It lasted an hour & I will be going to other meetings. I ended up talking to a guy who had 19 years sober, in the parking lot, for about 30 minutes afterwards. Now I did not think that would have happened on my first meeting.
He said a couple things that really stuck in my head.

Later, I read some literature that I got & it really called to me.
I would say give a meeting a chance.
I hear everybody say to go, & yesterday I got a little clarity on why.

H U G S & L O V E ! -----newbie

Love you Ang !
you're *not* starting again, you're picking up where you left off. Just use yesterday as a reminder that things never change with that s**t.

I'll be here with you when you get that 100, ok ?

:)

:hug:

D

Ang,

Thanks for your honesty. I had two major relapses in my sobriety and I understand what it feels like. You know exactly what you need to do - keep posting and let us know how you are doing in the meantime.

Rowan xoxox

Im having a cry now I know pick myself up and I cant turn the clock back but hell I hate this!! this dam addicition its not fair its not fair its not fair and I knoiw its silly sorry for any mistakes I cant see the keyboard for the tears!! its not fair and I was so proud of myself I said one thing to hubby if I start drinking again I want to die as I hate this inner battle I have, non addicts have no idea the hell we go through the constant battle the voice in the back of your mind it gets so dam tirying and I am so hoping tomorow that I will feel so positive not terrified like Im feeling now I dont want to be like I was I was so proud of myself

well, I'm still proud of you Ang...:D
you're looking at the slip - not all the good days before it, and all the good days yet to come...

leave yesterday behind where it should be, hey ?
save your tears for the rugby later :P

D

thanks is it the ABs playing the wallabies? I think weve peaked :0( allways happens before a wrold cup grrr

Hugs across the ocean to you, Angie.

Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again.

BHJ

yeah...it is 'us' against 'you', Ang !!
LOL to be honest I know nothing of Rugby - wouldn't have known it if Jules62 hadn't
mentioned it :lmao

just trying to make you forget the morning after feeling :)

D