thebear

Hey,
i had a pretty heavy weekend drinking wise, had so much on Saturday night and there are a few hours that went by without a lot of recollection which is always kind of scary as you always assume you did something really bad, although i am sure nothing bad did happen. Anyhow i have decided i have had enough of drinking - i have had enough of waking up at the weekend feeling crap, of worrying about what i might have said and done while drunk, of the money it costs and the indignity and lack or respect others must feel for me and i feel for myself.

i have read many of the posts on here today and it seems that many people have a different kind of drinking problem to me and i would like to know if anyone out there shares my experience. the thing is i am not dependent on alcohol, i only drink once or twice a week, usually a night at the weekend, and will go many days or even weeks without drinking, my problem is that when i have a drink i want to keep going, i don't want to go home and instead of going home when my friends do i want to keep going until the early hours - i don't seem able to say to myself, right you've had a good time now is the time to go home and wake up feeling good - i guess i just love to party and hate the end of the night to come and so am always searching for the next good time.

i don't know what it is like for people from other countries but here in the UK everything pretty much revolves around drink - going to the pub regularly is not considered a bad thing, in fact it is an encouraged and celebrated part of our culture and i find it difficult to get away from the atmosphere of drinking as we associate having a goodtime in Britain as going out to bars and clubs to drink. i do not yearn for drink but i yearn a good time and find it hard to disassociate the two - does anyone else have this problem?

Introvrtd1

Bear,

Im a binge drinker too. You pretty much described how I was several years ago. Problem is Bear, that eventually, you may get progressively worse. I dont know.

I do however share your experiences with not wanting to stop once I start. Others will reply with their experience soon.

I do encourage you to continue reading and posting. You will gain valuable insight from others here.

In the mean time, be good to yourself.

Introvrtd1

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

When I first started drinking, it was only a couple of nights a week. However, it quikckly progressed. In my opinion, if alcohol is adversely affecting your life, then you're an alcoholic and it doesn't matter how often you drink.

If you want to stop drinking, there is lots of support and information here.

thebear

Intro,

thanks mate - have just read some other posts you have made in the past, sounds like we do share a common experience in terms of the way we drink, for some reason i find that comforting - always nice to know you are not alone. i guess there is a fine line between being a fun party guy and having a drink problem - i used to be the former but now it feels more and more like i am becoming the latter. what makes it even more ridiculous is that i am a very fit guy, i go to the gym 4-5 times a week but then spend the other couple of days ruining all my good work

i know there are people on this site with much 'worse' problems than me and next to them my problem may seem insignificant, i just worry that i have a bit of a self-destruct button and that one of these days i will well and truly f**k everything up and all for a fermented vegetable drink - god it sounds even dafter when i word it like that!

i told my friends yesterday that i don't want to drink anymore and that i hoped they could accept this and not try and goad me into having a pint - they were fine with this and happy to assist me through this process - i guess i just felt that by making it vocal it seems more official and will help me through completetly stopping - biggest problems are weekends as after a hard week of a work a beer just seems such a good idea - am determined not to drink though, my girlfriend said she will help me through it which is great

Rowan

Hi Bear,

Welcome to SR. If you're serious about quitting drinking, you're in the right place.

BTW - I know it seems that everything revolves around drink, but it only feels that way because that's perhaps all you have experienced. Many of us who give up drinking have felt this way. For me, it was social functions and family gatherings: "Everyone drinks! What will I do?" But once I sobered up, I saw that wasn't the case. MANY people were not drinking. I just never saw them, because I was too busy slamming them back.

I'm glad you're here.

Rowan

Amelie

Hi Bear,
I know what you mean about the drinking culture here in the UK. Its almost like we dont go anywhere except for pubs and bars. I met up with some mates yesterday in a nice country pub and felt abit out of place drinking J2o and diet coke!! But atleast I wasnt hungover this morning. All the best Amelie

thebear

thanks Rowan, anna and Amelie - much appreciated

yeah you're probably right Rowan, perhaps everyone isn't drinking, in fact a lot of my friends do not drink that much - guess i used to try and fool myself into thinking that i had to drink in order to spend time with my friends but thats just crap really

Amelie - thanks and glad you agree with me about our drinking culture - just seems like everything we do involves alcohol, i know thats making excuses but i have spoken to a few people about it and they also agree. when i was at university i decided to spend a whole night out with friends not drinking - stupid thing was i spent the same amount of money because pints of coke are so expensive and i realised what a rubbish nightclub it really was because i was sober enough to see the how dirty the walls and floor were - decided never to go to a nightclub sober again. Ok i'm kinda joking there but i think its that kind of attitude we have in the UK, that going out is always better the more drunk we are

parentrecovers

nice to see you posting, bear. blessings, k

crawlingout

Bear,
I as well am a binge drinker!! Don't actually remember how to drink anyother way. Up until about 11yrs. ago my drinking was pretty much controled. Due to some traumatic episode back in 96 the alcohol became my means of escape from how I was truly feeling. I can go days, weeks,, sometimes mos. without a drink,, but even after having that much sober time, I always pick back up!! You have to understand that our drinking gets progressively worse and worse as time goes on if not dealt with properly!!! I'm at a point now in my life where I have absolutely lost 99.9% of myself and all that I ever had. I'm in a very bad way right now, and it is absolutely unbearable for me each and every day!! I had my last binge and sobered up and detoxed in jail just over 2mos. ago. The price I have had to pay by going on that binge has been extremely high,,, but even after all I have gone through and continue to go through every day because of that last bender,,, I still want to pick up each and every day!! To escape the feelings of anxiety, depression, and low self esteem!! That is the insanity of it all!!! I'm new in here,,, looking to share, help if I can from experience, get help and advice from other members!! I implore you to find whatever means you can to get a handle on it now, before you end up like me 48 yrs. old without much of anything of any real value left in his life!! I'm thinking my starting overs have started over for the very last time!!! Good Luck bear!!!!

PaperDolls

Hi Bear. I was a binge drinker as well. I never knew when to stop. In fact, usually didn't until I just couldn't physically get the glass to my lips. I never was not physically dependent on alcohol but mentally I was.

Alcoholism is a progressive disease. Drinking like I did (and you) can lead to a physical addiction. Luckily for me, I stopped that cycle in my family before it happened to me.

I knew almost from my first drink that I liked it way too much. The buzz. The feeling of being untouchable. And, having a good time. It sort of got to the point where I couldn't remember if I had a good time or not. Like crawlingout (welcome! ), I used alcohol to escape my feelings of anxiety and depression. Trust me.....those feelings are still there and they come back once the alcohol wears off.

You've found the right place for support and it sounds like you've got some great friends that are willing to support you as well.

Welcome.

Debaucher

I once had that problem... where the party was ending right when I thought it was just getting started... ;-)

I thought those folks were just fuddy duddies... whimps... kill joys...

It turns out that when I am not drinking there comes a point in the night when your body says... ok time to go home... when I was drinking... that whole normal process got derailed...

I never understood how folks could want to go home at 11:30 or 12:00... now it just seams to be normal.

... you would be suprised how similiar many of our stories are...

Also don't worry about not having problems as big as others... or that your issues aren't real because you don't consume a case of beer every single day... all that matters is that you want it all to stop.

GL

thebear

Crawling out,
Thank you so much for your post, what you said was so heart felt and well written that it has quite affected me. It makes me feel very sad that you say you have lost so much through drinking - it makes me realise that i must get a grip on it now, i would be stupid not to heed the advice of others that have been there and done it before like yourself.

I guess it is hard for me to take advice from people that have to drink everyday as this is outside of my own experience, but the fact that you have had such problems despite not actually drinking that regularly shows me that alcoholism has many forms and whether i like it or not i have to accept the way i have been drinking is not good and normal - however much i try to justify it by arguing that since i don't drink every day then i don't have a problem.

its ironic how you say that despite everything that has happened you still want to drink, whenever i have a really bad binge the first thing i want to do the next day is drink again, not because i want the booze itself but because it delays me from having to face up to what happened during the previous night - my friends do not think i have a problem but i know that it could get worse so must do something now.

Please whatever happens with you do not stop trying yourself, you have too much to offer people, especially to people like me that will hopefully be able to nip it in the bud before it becomes too bad and seriously affects our lives, we can learn from you and if that happens your experiences will not have been in vain.

And to Paper Dolls and Debaucher - thank you very much for your comments, i guess that many people on this site may have started like me which makes me even more glad i have found this site now before things may have got out of control. And you are right Paper Dolls i do have some great friends, i like to think that good people attract good people but unfortunately if i keep drinking i don't thnk i would deserve to have them.

Debaucher, it is funny for me to read what you say about the so called fuddy duddies as i feel/felt the same way when out, people drift off early and i just joke about them being light weights whereas i'm the idiot really. Its also interesting to hear you mention how drink affects the body clock and when it is time to go home, last Friday i had a couple of beers with my girlfriend, i was getting into the spirit and suggested we head into town, she however insisted we go home and have an early night, at first i was annoyed with her for being so boring but when i got home i was so exhausted from a hard week at work i fell straight asleep and didn't get up for another 9 hours, which shows how tired i really was. However if she wasn't there i would have probably gone into town and stayed out drinking till 4 or 5 in the morning. I really should start listening to women more :-)

parentrecovers

nice to meet you, crawling out! k

parentrecovers

sorry, double post.....

Khrobin

Thats the same problem I have also. I dont drink but a few times a week...binge drinking...but I recently noticed, that the binge drinking turns really bad...go from drinking heavily 1 or 2 times a week at the bars with friends, to a nightly beer or 2, is all...no big deal. but it gets worse...it progresses for me. last time I quit, I quit for 4 months. I was to the point i was drinking a 6 pack nightly!! I recently started the weekend drinks with friends again. thats all, like no big deal right? except for the narley hangover in the am, and black out the night before. well, i noticed it was progressing again, having a beer with dinner at the end of a long work day (I work 10 hour days) help relax watch TV...nothing to bad...but it progresses. it starts with the blackouts and hangovers, and progresses to a beer at dinner, then maybe a drink with dinner, to a few more beers after dinner. my problem is almost identical to yours. weekend drinking. I want to stop again too. there always seems to be an excuse to go out drinking. need to find more excuses to drink soda or tea instead of booze.

Misscat

I have the same issue, once I start I have a hard time stopping!! Same as you, I can go days/weeks without drinking, but once I do, I go all out. Unfortunately, I would occasionally dabble in drugs, but usually only when drinking. In the last two years I did find that I would drink more often besides just the weekend, so I think it is possible to become more dependant upon alcohol over time.
I felt a little funny when I first entered this forum--like, I have a different problem than a lot of people on here, but I do recognize it as a PROBLEM, for me. You dont have to drink in the morning when you get up to have a problem with alcohol. If your behavior is causing you to feel badly, it is poossible you may need to re-evaluate why you drink in the first place, and why you choose not to stop when you are out. I plan on avoiding bars and clubs for a while and I have chosen to distance myself from people who do drugs. Its a start. And although I felt a little different from the people here sometimes, the more I post and read what peole have to say the more I realize what I have in common with them also. The fact that you decided to come here might indicate its time to change...that's what I feel for myself.
As for what the culture here is like (the USA)--fun often seems to be much centered around bars/clubs, especially around NYC (i live very close to NYC and spend a lot of time there). People often drink 7 nights out of the week in NYC. I think staying away from bars/clubs will be a little difficult socially, but I also see it as a good challenge to find other more interesting things to do with my friends or with my time.
Good luck!

lostmdboy

I was an everyday, get out of my way it is 5 oclock drinker. I did not start that way, but it is where I got too. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. By the grace of my Higher Power i prey I will not have to go back there. Stay sober, and welcome.

thebear

Thanks Khrobin - we sound like kindred spirits drinking wise - i also work around 10 hours a day, with travelling on top its around 12 hours, so by the time i get home the idea of a relaxing beer is very appealing. I think one of the best things i can do is eat a lot - i never feel much like drinking after i eat, so perhaps i should start stuffing my face whenever i come home.

I guess there are more people out there than i thought who have the same type of problem as me - would be nice to think we can all get over this together