new and confused
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: florida
Posts: 1
new and confused
hello..im not quite sure i should be here... maybe i should.. well here it goes:
i am 25 yrs old.. and have drank at least 3 beers a day for about 2 1/2 - 3 yrs. its usually about 6 beers though. maybe more. i went on a small break about 6 months ago.. and honestly it was hard. i thought about drinking everyday.. my mouth salivated for it. i drink whether im alone or with people, it doesnt matter. for a while i tried to 'cut back' by only buying two 24 once beers a night.. and a few nights a week would end up going back to the store for another one anyway. when i drink at home i drink until im really buzzed/drunk.. when i go out i drink until im black out drunk. and if i havent gotten there by the time last call comes around i rush to the store to buy more... im not even sure if im physically dependent on it.. i didnt drink last night ( a start on not drinking at all anymore) today i feel a bit sick in the belly and my heads a bit cloudy.. i dont know if it is linked to anything else or possibly not drinking last night... my routine is drinking at night when i get off work.. but i have spent many of my days off drinking ALL day long.. my boyfriend drinks a lot also.. and he has also decided to take a long break from drinking.. i told him that i feel as though i may need further help then just 'deciding to stop' and he took it very lightly and basically said that im being over dramatic.. and to 'just dont drink'.. which isnt as easy as he makes it sound. im unhappy with myself. I cant imagine my life being fun without drinking.. and thats sad. I know it is. im not really sure what else to say.. i just want to not want to drink so badly..
i am 25 yrs old.. and have drank at least 3 beers a day for about 2 1/2 - 3 yrs. its usually about 6 beers though. maybe more. i went on a small break about 6 months ago.. and honestly it was hard. i thought about drinking everyday.. my mouth salivated for it. i drink whether im alone or with people, it doesnt matter. for a while i tried to 'cut back' by only buying two 24 once beers a night.. and a few nights a week would end up going back to the store for another one anyway. when i drink at home i drink until im really buzzed/drunk.. when i go out i drink until im black out drunk. and if i havent gotten there by the time last call comes around i rush to the store to buy more... im not even sure if im physically dependent on it.. i didnt drink last night ( a start on not drinking at all anymore) today i feel a bit sick in the belly and my heads a bit cloudy.. i dont know if it is linked to anything else or possibly not drinking last night... my routine is drinking at night when i get off work.. but i have spent many of my days off drinking ALL day long.. my boyfriend drinks a lot also.. and he has also decided to take a long break from drinking.. i told him that i feel as though i may need further help then just 'deciding to stop' and he took it very lightly and basically said that im being over dramatic.. and to 'just dont drink'.. which isnt as easy as he makes it sound. im unhappy with myself. I cant imagine my life being fun without drinking.. and thats sad. I know it is. im not really sure what else to say.. i just want to not want to drink so badly..
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
You're young. If you are an alcoholic, then you're probably an early stage alcoholic.
As you age, the disease progresses.
As I said, you're young. If you think you have a problem, nip it in the butt now. One, you're strong and your body's still healthy. and Two, you won't have to live through the progression like we did. I ended up physically dependent on alcohol. It's not a fun place to be.
As you age, the disease progresses.
As I said, you're young. If you think you have a problem, nip it in the butt now. One, you're strong and your body's still healthy. and Two, you won't have to live through the progression like we did. I ended up physically dependent on alcohol. It's not a fun place to be.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 64
mamagooch: welcome. if we are questioning our drinking habits, and are here. is a great step. you will find great people here and in aa meetings and recovery. within time you will see its possible to have fun without alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hi Mamagooch, Welcome to Sober Recovery!
I used to be able to take breaks between drinking bouts also. But I couldn't stay stopped. Any small 'crisis' sent me back to it.
It's normal to feel that your life will no longer be fun without alcohol - but lets face it - it can't be too fun anymore if you want to quit.
For me, the benefits of quitting drinking far outweigh what it was like when I was still actively drinking. Try not to get ahead of yourself, and to stay in today. If you haven't seen it yet, there is a 'Sticky' at the top of the Alcoholism Forum called 'Under the Influence' - I suggest you do some reading and make an informed decision from there.
We are here to share our experience, strength and hope if you decide that you want to quit drinking. I hope that you decide to stay with us!
My best to you,
Rowan
I used to be able to take breaks between drinking bouts also. But I couldn't stay stopped. Any small 'crisis' sent me back to it.
It's normal to feel that your life will no longer be fun without alcohol - but lets face it - it can't be too fun anymore if you want to quit.
For me, the benefits of quitting drinking far outweigh what it was like when I was still actively drinking. Try not to get ahead of yourself, and to stay in today. If you haven't seen it yet, there is a 'Sticky' at the top of the Alcoholism Forum called 'Under the Influence' - I suggest you do some reading and make an informed decision from there.
We are here to share our experience, strength and hope if you decide that you want to quit drinking. I hope that you decide to stay with us!
My best to you,
Rowan
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome....
Blackouts? I certainly had them too
and they are frightening.
This info is from the book Rowan mentioned
"The middle-stage alcoholic has probably been having blackouts from time to time. Blackouts are a very distinctive feature of alcoholism, and one symptom that clearly distinguishes alcoholics from non-alcoholics. The events which occur during an alcoholic blackout are not forgotten; they are simply not stored or are imperfectly stored in the brain. There is nothing there to be recalled later.
During a blackout, the alcoholic may be functioning normally and aware of everything that is happening around him. He continues to talk, walk, eat, drive a car, conduct a business deal, or make love to his wife. Yet on sobering up, he has no memory trace of what occurred during a certain time period -- it could be a minute, an hour, or even several days. In the early stages of the disease, blackouts are relatively infrequent, but as the disease progresses, they occur more often and last for longer periods of time.
Jack attended a series of weekend meetings held in a city 90 miles from his home. The last meeting ended in midafternoon, and Jack retired to the bar with several friends. It was happy hour, and the bartender announced a special on martinis: six ounces of gin for just $2.00. Jack drank four specials and then decided to order dinner before he drove home. With dinner, he drank a bottle of wine. It was late when he started driving, but he remembered watching the moon rise over the low hills. The next thing he knew and could later recall, he was travelling 110 mph and was 25 miles past his exit. He had driven 100 miles in a blackout.
It is not difficult to imagine how frightening blackouts can be. The alcoholic may wake up in the morning with no recall of the events of the previous evening. He gets out of bed, afraid to inspect his clothes -- did he get sick? Then the question occurs to him: "How did I get home?" He looks out the window, fearful that the car will be missing. He does not remember driving home.
The car is there, and he has another, even more frightening thought: "Did I hit something or someone?" He runs outside and looks at the front end. He searches the seats for clues to help him piece the lost time back together. Humiliating thoughts race through his mind: "Did I disgrace myself? Will my friends talk to me? How can I find out what happened when I am too embarrassed to admit that I don't remember?"
Blackouts can be so frightening that they make the alcoholic question his sanity. For the first time he may realize that he is in deep trouble with alcohol. Despite his increasing problems, however, the middle-stage alcoholic rarely considers giving up drinking..."
Here is a link to the book excerpts
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
Keep posting with us..we do understand
Blackouts? I certainly had them too
and they are frightening.
This info is from the book Rowan mentioned
"The middle-stage alcoholic has probably been having blackouts from time to time. Blackouts are a very distinctive feature of alcoholism, and one symptom that clearly distinguishes alcoholics from non-alcoholics. The events which occur during an alcoholic blackout are not forgotten; they are simply not stored or are imperfectly stored in the brain. There is nothing there to be recalled later.
During a blackout, the alcoholic may be functioning normally and aware of everything that is happening around him. He continues to talk, walk, eat, drive a car, conduct a business deal, or make love to his wife. Yet on sobering up, he has no memory trace of what occurred during a certain time period -- it could be a minute, an hour, or even several days. In the early stages of the disease, blackouts are relatively infrequent, but as the disease progresses, they occur more often and last for longer periods of time.
Jack attended a series of weekend meetings held in a city 90 miles from his home. The last meeting ended in midafternoon, and Jack retired to the bar with several friends. It was happy hour, and the bartender announced a special on martinis: six ounces of gin for just $2.00. Jack drank four specials and then decided to order dinner before he drove home. With dinner, he drank a bottle of wine. It was late when he started driving, but he remembered watching the moon rise over the low hills. The next thing he knew and could later recall, he was travelling 110 mph and was 25 miles past his exit. He had driven 100 miles in a blackout.
It is not difficult to imagine how frightening blackouts can be. The alcoholic may wake up in the morning with no recall of the events of the previous evening. He gets out of bed, afraid to inspect his clothes -- did he get sick? Then the question occurs to him: "How did I get home?" He looks out the window, fearful that the car will be missing. He does not remember driving home.
The car is there, and he has another, even more frightening thought: "Did I hit something or someone?" He runs outside and looks at the front end. He searches the seats for clues to help him piece the lost time back together. Humiliating thoughts race through his mind: "Did I disgrace myself? Will my friends talk to me? How can I find out what happened when I am too embarrassed to admit that I don't remember?"
Blackouts can be so frightening that they make the alcoholic question his sanity. For the first time he may realize that he is in deep trouble with alcohol. Despite his increasing problems, however, the middle-stage alcoholic rarely considers giving up drinking..."
Here is a link to the book excerpts
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
Keep posting with us..we do understand
Last edited by CarolD; 07-07-2007 at 04:32 PM. Reason: Link Added
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,496
Hi Mamagooch,
Welcome!
I'm glad you recognize that you have a problem with drinking and that you will not be able to stop easily. It's very hard for people who are not alcoholics, to understand the enormous difficulty it is for us to stop. Your boyfriend may be able to easily take a long break and not be bothered by it. But, for you, it might be much more difficult. There is a lot of support here, so keep reading and posting.
Welcome!
I'm glad you recognize that you have a problem with drinking and that you will not be able to stop easily. It's very hard for people who are not alcoholics, to understand the enormous difficulty it is for us to stop. Your boyfriend may be able to easily take a long break and not be bothered by it. But, for you, it might be much more difficult. There is a lot of support here, so keep reading and posting.
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
nice to meet you! my daughter is 23 and in early recovery from alcohol and cocaine abuse. aa meetings and an aa sponsor really help her. she has also been through treatment.
you're smart to recognize your disease now, before it progresses.
blessings, k
you're smart to recognize your disease now, before it progresses.
blessings, k
Lurker
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Western NC
Posts: 783
Welcome Mama. When I quit drinking I could not emagine not drinking for the rest of my life, but now I can not emagine what it would be like to live that insanity for the rest of my life. Trust us alcoholism is a progressive disease. If you do not quit there is no telling where it can lead you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 12
Hey. I'm 23 and haven't quit yet. I just started posting here less than two weeks ago. I REALLY know what you're going through right now because I'm essentially going through the same thing. I've done the day-off-all-day-drinking thing before (that was a lot of dashes) and I know how you feel about not being able to have fun without drinking.
I guess I can't really offer you any advice, but if you ever want to talk feel free to shoot me a message. I think we could relate. Good luck.
I guess I can't really offer you any advice, but if you ever want to talk feel free to shoot me a message. I think we could relate. Good luck.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Originally Posted by Oof 
and I know how you feel about not being able to have fun without drinking.
Two things I remembered... it wasn't always fun but I called it fun rather then deal with the truth and the second thing...I can't remember (maybe because I drank to much that time)
My idea of fun then vs now...
Then... drink till I would puke...Yup that was always fun.
Now... do what ever I like and find that being sober I truly can enjoy the things that are fun.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: TX
Posts: 542
Welcome mama. Just as others have said, don't wait until you're much older and more dependent on alcohol to quit. If you are an alcoholic (and only you can know) then you will not be able to drink without it progressively getting worse. You do not want to look back ten or twenty years from now and think what a waste my life has been. This is a good place to come. Here you will find many understanding people with experience in the area of alcoholism. Feel free to post any questions you have that is what we are here for.
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