New Member Trying To Quit Cocaine
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 5
New Member Trying To Quit Cocaine
Hello everyone, Im a new member, I found this website off google while reading up on addicition and methods of quiting cocaine.
I've been doing cocaine for a little under a year now. I used to just smoke weed, then it moved into me trying extacy and shrooms, but I never got addicted to either. Then one day on my walk home from school in October 06, I was talking to a friend that Ive known since I was 5 years old, and he told me he did cocaine, and offered to "buck" me on my first time. I said yes, and really liked it. I tried it a few more times, and no one else in my school did coke, so my close friends that knew and saw me do it started cracking jokes calling me a cokehead, and I didnt like it. I made a bet with them that if I ever did it again, they could all punch me in the face.
Then I started doing it with the same friend maybe once a week, but I didnt tell anyone, and neither did he. As time went on, I saw more and more people try it, but I never told anyone I was still doing it. I kept smoking weed (I still smoke weed on a daily basis), but I started doing coke more and more often. Eventually I just told my friends because I saw they had all tried it, and I started doing it with some of them as well (they didn't punch me in the face lol).
I started doing coke even during school in the bathroom off of cd cases, binders, text books, but it was always with the same friend. We were grabbing on average 3-4 times a day by December. Then there were days where we would both skip school and just snort all day. I even went to orthodontist appointments with him, went to the washrooms and bucked rails before I saw my orthondontist. I loved it, and it scared me (it still does). I even snorted a line before I went to an exam, hadnt studied for it, and got the highest mark in the class on it, which made me think, if anything, it was helping me in school instead of bringing me down.
Then I told the wrong person that I was doing coke (only my close friends new) and before I knew it, everyone was asking me if I really did it, like it was insane. Eventually, people got over it, and I ended up snorting with a lot of people I knew. They saw that I didn't do the little lines they had done their first few times (I used to, and still like to do really big lines) and I ended up with the nickname Hollywood (Hollywood= really huge line). Everytime I broke my friends lines, they would tell me to take some out of theirs, because they wouldn't be able to handle it, and I actually liked the fact that I could snort so much without a problem.
This continued for a long time, but a friend I met during second semester would always tell me she hated that I did it, and asked me to stop for her. I started lieing, saying I wasnt doing it, but it was obvious I still was (red, flaired up, runny nose), and every night I that I went to sleep on it, I would tell myself, "What's wrong with you man? Your ruining yourself, your hurting your friends, and if your family ever found out, it would be the end." I think I was going a little schizo. But I would wake up the next day, and act like that conversation never happened, and snort without hesitation.
As more and more friends told me not to snort anymore, and the friend I met told me she really wanted me to stop, I resolved to quit. But the friend I started (and kept) snorting with would come to my house everyday, and keep asking if I wanted to pitch with him until I gave in. A lot of times he already came with coke, and I snorted free of charge. I still ended up spending well over a thousand dollars from December to March though, and I only worked part time (I wasted all the money I had saved in my account).
Then I really did quit for a bit. Around the end of April 07, I stopped, and he dropped out and started working full time. He would call and ask if he could come over so we could snort, and I would always say "No man, I quit." I went from seeing him everyday, to not even getting a call from him for about 4 weeks. Then one day when I came home, he was outside my door with a smile. We went inside, he broke 2 lines even though I kept telling him I didnt want one, and I ended up snorting it. In the next 3 weeks, I did it 2 more times with other friends. Then I started hearing more and more from that same friend I started with, and I saw I was doing it a lot again.
I snorted cocaine earlier today (not enough to even get me high though, which makes me feels really stupid, if I hadnt done it, I wouldve had the same effects, with no guilt). I did it Wednesday and Sunday of this week as well. I really want to quit again. Not just coke though, all drugs. I want to keep it alcohol and cigarettes only. People tell me I should stop hanging around with the friend I started with completley, but I feel like I cant abandon someone Ive known for this long.
Any advice anyone has on quiting would be highly appreciated, I know I'm addicted, and I feel like Im hurting people around me. I know my family would be devistated to find out I did this kind of stuff, and I want to be sober. I know itsgoing to be one of the hardest things Ill ever have to do, but if I dont, it could be the last thing I ever do, and I dont want to die with a rolled up bank note in my nostril.
Thanks to all who read this, I know its long. Just makes me feel better letting it out.
I've been doing cocaine for a little under a year now. I used to just smoke weed, then it moved into me trying extacy and shrooms, but I never got addicted to either. Then one day on my walk home from school in October 06, I was talking to a friend that Ive known since I was 5 years old, and he told me he did cocaine, and offered to "buck" me on my first time. I said yes, and really liked it. I tried it a few more times, and no one else in my school did coke, so my close friends that knew and saw me do it started cracking jokes calling me a cokehead, and I didnt like it. I made a bet with them that if I ever did it again, they could all punch me in the face.
Then I started doing it with the same friend maybe once a week, but I didnt tell anyone, and neither did he. As time went on, I saw more and more people try it, but I never told anyone I was still doing it. I kept smoking weed (I still smoke weed on a daily basis), but I started doing coke more and more often. Eventually I just told my friends because I saw they had all tried it, and I started doing it with some of them as well (they didn't punch me in the face lol).
I started doing coke even during school in the bathroom off of cd cases, binders, text books, but it was always with the same friend. We were grabbing on average 3-4 times a day by December. Then there were days where we would both skip school and just snort all day. I even went to orthodontist appointments with him, went to the washrooms and bucked rails before I saw my orthondontist. I loved it, and it scared me (it still does). I even snorted a line before I went to an exam, hadnt studied for it, and got the highest mark in the class on it, which made me think, if anything, it was helping me in school instead of bringing me down.
Then I told the wrong person that I was doing coke (only my close friends new) and before I knew it, everyone was asking me if I really did it, like it was insane. Eventually, people got over it, and I ended up snorting with a lot of people I knew. They saw that I didn't do the little lines they had done their first few times (I used to, and still like to do really big lines) and I ended up with the nickname Hollywood (Hollywood= really huge line). Everytime I broke my friends lines, they would tell me to take some out of theirs, because they wouldn't be able to handle it, and I actually liked the fact that I could snort so much without a problem.
This continued for a long time, but a friend I met during second semester would always tell me she hated that I did it, and asked me to stop for her. I started lieing, saying I wasnt doing it, but it was obvious I still was (red, flaired up, runny nose), and every night I that I went to sleep on it, I would tell myself, "What's wrong with you man? Your ruining yourself, your hurting your friends, and if your family ever found out, it would be the end." I think I was going a little schizo. But I would wake up the next day, and act like that conversation never happened, and snort without hesitation.
As more and more friends told me not to snort anymore, and the friend I met told me she really wanted me to stop, I resolved to quit. But the friend I started (and kept) snorting with would come to my house everyday, and keep asking if I wanted to pitch with him until I gave in. A lot of times he already came with coke, and I snorted free of charge. I still ended up spending well over a thousand dollars from December to March though, and I only worked part time (I wasted all the money I had saved in my account).
Then I really did quit for a bit. Around the end of April 07, I stopped, and he dropped out and started working full time. He would call and ask if he could come over so we could snort, and I would always say "No man, I quit." I went from seeing him everyday, to not even getting a call from him for about 4 weeks. Then one day when I came home, he was outside my door with a smile. We went inside, he broke 2 lines even though I kept telling him I didnt want one, and I ended up snorting it. In the next 3 weeks, I did it 2 more times with other friends. Then I started hearing more and more from that same friend I started with, and I saw I was doing it a lot again.
I snorted cocaine earlier today (not enough to even get me high though, which makes me feels really stupid, if I hadnt done it, I wouldve had the same effects, with no guilt). I did it Wednesday and Sunday of this week as well. I really want to quit again. Not just coke though, all drugs. I want to keep it alcohol and cigarettes only. People tell me I should stop hanging around with the friend I started with completley, but I feel like I cant abandon someone Ive known for this long.
Any advice anyone has on quiting would be highly appreciated, I know I'm addicted, and I feel like Im hurting people around me. I know my family would be devistated to find out I did this kind of stuff, and I want to be sober. I know itsgoing to be one of the hardest things Ill ever have to do, but if I dont, it could be the last thing I ever do, and I dont want to die with a rolled up bank note in my nostril.
Thanks to all who read this, I know its long. Just makes me feel better letting it out.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 14
Consider yourself lucky that you admit you have a problem, that seems to be a big hurtle for many. My biggest piece of advice is to stay away from those you do it with, your one friend in particular. No matter how long you have known him, the realtionship you both have is based on coke, and he doesnt seem to care that you want to quit. So really, he isn't a friend at all. Spend time with the one friend that pushes you to be straight, and ask if you can lean on her for a while, as a support network is your best bet. I've had friends that quit their well-paying jobs to move to get away from coke influences.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: MA.
Posts: 1,719
[QUOTE=Hollywoooood;1400179
I really want to quit again. Not just coke though, all drugs. I want to keep it alcohol and cigarettes only. People tell me I should stop hanging around with the friend I started with completley, but I feel like I cant abandon someone Ive known for this long. [/QUOTE]
Hello and welcome to SR.
Exercise caution with just keeping your intake to cigs and alcohol. Alcohol is a drug...You may end up swithching one drug for another. I know this was the case for me.
Keep posting, we are happy you are here.
I really want to quit again. Not just coke though, all drugs. I want to keep it alcohol and cigarettes only. People tell me I should stop hanging around with the friend I started with completley, but I feel like I cant abandon someone Ive known for this long. [/QUOTE]
Hello and welcome to SR.
Exercise caution with just keeping your intake to cigs and alcohol. Alcohol is a drug...You may end up swithching one drug for another. I know this was the case for me.
Keep posting, we are happy you are here.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
Welcome hollywood.
I agree with missymae alcohol has always been a gateway drug for me. once I have a few in me it is very hard for me to say no to anything else especially coke. I think I had 107 days clean and I decided one beer wouldnt hurt and I have been struggling since.
I agree with missymae alcohol has always been a gateway drug for me. once I have a few in me it is very hard for me to say no to anything else especially coke. I think I had 107 days clean and I decided one beer wouldnt hurt and I have been struggling since.
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