I'm sad.
 

I feel sad today...and honestly, I am feeling a bit angry, and I dont know who I am angry at. I do want to drink, but I dont feel like that is the only reason why I feel upset. I just feel resentful that I cant just have a "normal" social life, I feel trapped.

I feel that way too sometimes. Like I can't go back and maybe erase this whole deal and be a "normal" person without this disease at the forefront of my mind. I have dealt with other extremely traumatizing events in my life that, with time and help, have become a part of me but not me exclusively and I have learned to live with them in my past. I know with work and time, I will feel the same way about using. I'll just have to wait. So I am not sure what to say but can only say I relate. :)

Hi Misscat,

It is hard to come to terms with the fact that we are not like 'normal' people and we can't do what they do when it comes to having a casual drink. I think I had to go through a period of loss and mourning for what I was giving up, even though it had caused me so much grief. Have you heard of a book called "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp. It's a memoir of a young, high-functioning alcoholic woman and her love affair with alcohol.

Being "Normal" is way over-rated. I know, when we are first in recovery, it sometimes feels as if we will never have fun again. There are so many sober things to do, there are usually AA/NA dances. Check for the local Al-Anon club, or ask someone at a meeting what they do for fun. I think you will be surprised how many activities "we" do. Being Sober is the greatest gift I have, I am able to enjoy activities, remember them, not feel sick wondering what I might have said in a blackout and feel great the next day.

Also, the anger, resentment, sadness, regret etc. are all normal emotions to feel when first in recovery, it is like a Merry-Go-Round at first, never knowing where you are going to stop. These will even out with time and sobriety. Here is a hug ((((Misscat and Aducksdelight))))))) be gentle with yourselves...it will get better.

Cathy

I've seen my friends in pain, real pain, from this disease.
Fight it. Be abnormal :)

D

{Hugs} Misscat. Nothing to add other than I relate and understand as I'm sure many on here do.

Sorry your feeling like this. I understand how you feel. Hopefully these feelings will subside with time and what we "normally" do wont be so attractive. Everytime i have these feelings i think of the last horrible morning after. it was grim