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Stinkin Thinkin' I have more than a year of sobriety and feel very strong in my recovery, at least until yesterday....I was reaching into a cooler for my favorite beverage....and there they were.....ICE COLD BEERS....it was HOT!!!! You know real HOT... I thought for a moment: Maybe during my 14 months of sobriety the following happened...... My liver became capable of processing alcohol like a normal person... My neuro-transmitters and receptors rewired themselves..... My addictive personality suddenly changed.... The alkie genes from past generations have been wiped out... Learned how to control that craving for that second drink..... YEA!!! It will be different this time, just ONE BEER..... CUNNING.....BAFFLING... And DEADLY in my case...... Thanks to my support network including AA and SR to name a few..... I grabbed the ICY COLD SPRITE ZERO...I know now, my sobriety is a fragile thing, it is only a cans length away from beieng destroyed......Looks like I have some work to do....... Work Hard and Enjoy Life.....Ned |
i find newcomer to re charge my recovery. :) Good for you! |
Hi Ned, I always like seeing posts from you because that's my Dad's name too! Your post resonated with me - I understand that feeling - you are sober and feeling fine when KAPOW suddenly there is alcohol in front of you and all of a sudden the bargaining committee in our head starts thinking 'I wonder?' Resources and tools like AA and SR help me to stay sober too - and like you, I need to do something to recharge my own recovery. Thanks for sharing. Row |
Originally Posted by BBQBOY
(Post 1397679)
CUNNING.....BAFFLING... And DEADLY in my case...... |
Glad to hear you resisted the temptation, Ned. I went to a BBQ where my AA meetings are held. 116 degrees outside, a big huge cooler full of............ICY COLD SODA AND WATER. Yay!!! |
WAY to Go...you were thrown a test and you passed. You are truly recovering. You must be feeling real good today. After that, any thing is possible. |
Good for you! But, I don't trust myself to be within an arm's length of anything alcoholic...not even after 27+ years. I recently posted something relating to this "test of will" in another thread. Hmmmmn...I guess if I were looking for an excuse to drink, I could find one...even in this nursing home with about 200 patients (about 3/4 of whom are senile, in dementia, or having alzheimer's). Every week, someone is either dying, close to it, or falling out of bed and being rushed to the hospital...sometimes they even come back here. Although I'm pretty much confined to a wheelchair, I'm one of the few with all their mental faculties intact. Would you believe, when we play poker a couple of times a week, they actually have Dooley's non-alcoholic beer to drink!?! Ain't no such animal, of course...it's actually 5%. I could have a nice cold Dooley's (even though I never liked beer), and con myself into thinking I was still clean and sober...who would know? The most important person...ME! Nope...no excuse is a good enough excuse...not for this alcoholic. |
Hey Ned, those are the thoughts that go through my head every time I see someone with a beer. I really do not like going by stores that sell beer, because that stinking thinking starts. For me it is best just to try to evoid it. Thanks for posting. |
It is a reminder that we must not let our guard down. Cunning, baffling, powerful, and patient. What is that saying about it being out in the parking lot doing push ups while waiting? |
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